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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇫 has bookmarked:

Lady just asked me what “mansplaining” is. I think it’s a trap. We’ve been staring at each other in silence for half an hour.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has shared:

The billionaires have decided that the people with nothing have too much.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has copied:

Sometimes my toddler throws stuff on the floor and then shouts “OH NO” and that’s kind of like what politicians do.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has viewed:

Is this simulation from Temu?

Someone from 🇳🇿 has shared:

When I tell you “I’m open to feedback” I’m telling you to be nice to me or I’ll resort to violence.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has downloaded:

How did they get kids to pose for oil paintings? Mine won’t sit still for 4 seconds for a family photo.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has shared:

Please don’t tell me how bad your life was growing up, we had to manually roll up our car windows.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has viewed:

Accidentally punched myself in the face as I was getting dressed this morning, and I have to say, I deserved it.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has bookmarked:

This can’t be the same body that used to be able to pull all nighters.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has viewed:

Arkansas is just Kansas for pirates.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,563

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on X:

You know what’s worse than someone’s phone alarm playing the tune over and over? Someone else who starts whistling along.

Seen just now on YouTube:

“I asked Grok.” “I asked ChatGPT.” Well, I asked R2D2, and he said you’re a loser.

Just landed via YouTube:

Riding a bike is an insane concept. You just sit and run at the same time.

Spotted on Twitch:

USPS tracking: Step 1: We don’t think it exists. Step 2: Delivered.

Just landed via Discord:

Jesus spent his time among the mentally ill, the poor and unemployed, the prostitutes. So, in a way, by being on Twitter, we’re like Jesus.

Breaking via Facebook:

I’m not totally useless. I can be used as a bad example.

Just landed via WeChat:

The best way to teach your kids about taxes is by eating 30 percent of their ice-cream.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

I need a massage for my brain.

Freshly posted on X:

Imagine earning a science degree then having to be a meteorologist who announces the prophecy of a groundhog.

Making waves on X:

There’s no one I respect more than duck hunters. You spent $15,000 on a camouflage boat to outsmart a duck.

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Social Media Stars ⭐

57 shares on Snapchat this month:

The best way for me to stick to my diet is to go straight back to sleep after breakfast.

14 shares on X this month:

Last night my guardian angel came to me, covered me up, gave me a kiss on the forehead and whispered in my ear: “You’re a pain in the ass!”

93 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Sometimes I wish I was a millennial, so I could talk about sex with my friends.

82 shares on Instagram this month:

If your store’s bowl of water is just for pets, you should really put up a sign.

77 shares on TikTok this month:

I wish people had mute buttons in real life.

48 shares on Pinterest this month:

The Face ID on my phone won’t work until it sees the loss of hope in my eyes.

59 shares on Facebook this month:

Computer dating is fine, if you’re a computer.

22 shares on WeChat this month:

Not being able to teleport is continuing to be a huge inconvenience for me.

85 shares on Twitch this month:

Cashier: Did you find everything? Me: Did you hide something?

84 shares on WeChat this month:

You know who’s gonna love you in the end? Your dog.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

13 folks are currently checking 👀

If the first thing you do in the morning is checking your emails, you’re starting your day with other people’s problems.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Children are so giving. For example, my kids gave me a cold.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

My patience is like a gift card, not sure how much is left but lets give it a try.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Gimme coffee or I’ll sleep amok!

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Chuck Norris got shot. The bullet is in critical condition.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m not arguing, I’m just explaining why I’m right louder.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Defeating imposter syndrome by actually being incompetent.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Money can’t buy happiness, until you’re on vacation and then you realize it definitely can.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I did 30 minutes of chores, time for a 7-hour break.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Telling everyone I’m an undecided voter because I need the attention.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,506

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇷 has copied:

A wise man once said: “Yes, darling. You’re right.”

Someone from 🇹🇭 has shared:

I love when my brain cells kiss and I have an idea.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has bookmarked:

I’m sorry for inventing the universe.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has viewed:

Do you ever cycle through the same 4 apps on your phone over and over again, and feel like a tiger pacing its cage at the zoo?

Someone from 🇯🇵 has viewed:

One time I refused to buy a watch because it was only waterproof to 100 meters. Not sure what sort of future I was imagining for myself there.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has shared:

Sorry for texting you back instantly. My phone was in my hand, and I’m mature and actually like you.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has bookmarked:

Every day is leg day when you’re running from your problems.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has copied:

They should invent health insurance that insures your health.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has downloaded:

Justice is a dish best served cold. If it were served warm, it would be just water.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has bookmarked:

Nothing guarantees running into someone you know in public better than looking like a feral animal on two hours of sleep.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Twitch:

Why would a needle be in a haystack, anyway?

Going viral on WhatsApp:

The pigeons are plotting to overthrow the government. It will start with a coo.

Shared recently on X:

Keep smiling, it makes people wonder what you’re up to.

Going bananas on Discord:

I put my bathroom scale in the corner, and that’s where the little liar will stay until it apologizes.

Seen just now on Twitch:

If stupidity got us into this mess, then why can’t it get us out?

Trending via Pinterest:

Getting older just means that you have to start eating all the sad foods.

Going viral on Discord:

I would definitely deny being from here if the aliens pulled up and asked. Not claiming this embarrassing planet in front of intergalactic travelers, are you dumb?

Going viral on Reddit:

I really admire the suns ability to be exactly where my car’s visor can’t block it out.

Spotted on WeChat:

I tried to act normal once, worst five minutes of my life.

Just landed via Reddit:

If I was in Jaws, instead of wishing for a bigger boat, I probably would have just asked for a smaller shark.

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