72 Funny existential quotes

• After ejaculation, men automatically realize that everything is vanity upon vanity.

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  11 hours ago

  after, ejaculation, everything, existential, existential realization, humor, male, male perspective, men, perspective, realization, realize, upon, vanity

• Yeah, the planet is dying. The government hates us. The animals are leaving. The aliens aren’t contacting us. We might be alone. It just might be you and me.

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  17 hours ago

  alien, aliens, alone, animal, animals, dying, existential, government, humor, just, leaving, loneliness, me, planet, relationship, us

• Sometimes I’m like….. what is the point of all this? And then I hang out with the people I love, and for a brief moment, I see.

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  3 weeks ago

  brief, existential, existential question, hang, hang out, i, love, moment, people, point, question, reflection, sometimes

• Are we all getting a front-row seat to the end times, or what?

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  2 months ago

  apocalypse, end, end times, existential, front-row, front-row seat, getting, humor, joke, satire, seat, times

• Think I’ll get high enough to find out if there’s a God. Stay tuned.

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  2 months ago

  curiosity, drug, enough, existential, God, high, humor, humor quote, satire, spirituality, stay, think, tuned

• Life is too short, and death is too long.

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  2 months ago

  contemplation, death, existential, humor, irony, life, short, too

• I’m at a point in life where I’m just at a point.

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  2 months ago

  existential, humor, humor quote, just, life, point, self-deprecation, where

• I’m not even sure what I’m doing on this planet.

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  2 months ago

  confusion, doing, even, existential, humor, humor quote, life, planet, sure

• If “live each day as if it’s your last” means being paralyzed with anxiety and a sense of impending doom, then I am absolutely nailing it.

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  2 months ago

  absolutely, am, anxiety, being, dark, dark humor, day, death, doom, existential, existential humor, health, humor, humor about death, i, last, live, means, mental, mental health, procrastination, sarcasm, self-deprecating, sense

• Sorry, I’m late. Time isn’t real, and I’m not convinced I am either.

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  2 months ago

  am, convinced, existential, humor, i, joke, late, lateness, philosophy, procrastination, real, reality, sarcasm, sorry, time

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