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Someone from 🇧🇬 has shared:

Stop asking a clown why he keeps acting like a clown, ask yourself why you keep going to the circus.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has viewed:

You know when a donkey followed Shrek home and just kept talking? That’s what it’s like having kids.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has bookmarked:

One thing that sucks about being grown-up is not being able to say, “My mom said no,” when you don’t want someone to come over.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has shared:

Hate all political parties and you’ll never be disappointed.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has viewed:

I’m addicted to following the rules I made up. And also breaking the rules I made up.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has viewed:

There are 400 billion stars in our galaxy and perhaps two trillion galaxies in total, and I just wonder if Miss Universe fully understands her achievement.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has bookmarked:

There needs to be a separate grocery store for people who actually know what they’re doing.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has shared:

The folks who write fragrance commercials must be like “I had the weirdest dream, Imma put it on TV.”

Someone from 🇦🇸 has copied:

The universe consists of 5% protons, 5% neutrons, 5% electrons, and 85% morons.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has copied:

A woman’s sigh can speak a 1000 words.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

531 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,124

Funny Quotes Topics

17,272

Funny Quotes Images

15,124

Dec 27, 2025

3,883

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Discord:

The nice thing about egotists is that they don’t talk about other people.

Just landed via TikTok:

I was raised to be humble which I excel at cause I excel at everything.

Just shared via Threads:

A web developer and an SEO expert walk into a bar, bars, nightclub, pubs, tavern, beer, alcohol, drinks, alcoholic beverages, bars in my area, places to drink.

Making waves on Twitch:

I get shy when my man stares at me for too long because what if he’s realizing I’m actually a lil ugly.

Broadcasted on Threads:

Coworkers are funny. You could see a guy every day for 5 years then he quits and you never see or even think about him again.

Breaking via Discord:

Dating after 40 is like trying to find the least damaged item at the thrift store that doesn’t smell.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

New year; new me. Just kidding. I’m already awesome.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

The true horror genre: my old Facebook statuses.

Just shared via Telegram:

A foghorn but for people who can’t see through their own bullshit.

Making waves on Instagram:

Carrying my phone from room to room like a Victorian woman and her lantern.

Home » Funny Existential Quotes

71 Funny existential quotes

Funny existential quotes 🤔😂 are a delightful blend of humor and deep thought, offering a whimsical lens through which we can ponder life’s big questions. They tickle our brains 🧠 while making us chuckle, creating a perfect cocktail of wit and wisdom. Whether you’re in need of a philosophical giggle or simply enjoy a good paradox, these quotes have a way of making the absurdity of existence a little more bearable and a lot more entertaining! 🌟

New funny existential quotes 👇

Are we all getting a front-row seat to the end times, or what?

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2 months ago

apocalypse, end, end times, existential, front-row, front-row seat, getting, humor, joke, satire, seat, times
Think I’ll get high enough to find out if there’s a God. Stay tuned.

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2 months ago

curiosity, drug, enough, existential, God, high, humor, humor quote, satire, spirituality, stay, think, tuned
Life is too short, and death is too long.

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2 months ago

contemplation, death, existential, humor, irony, life, short, too
I’m at a point in life where I’m just at a point.

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2 months ago

existential, humor, humor quote, just, life, point, self-deprecation, where
I’m not even sure what I’m doing on this planet.

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2 months ago

confusion, doing, even, existential, humor, humor quote, life, planet, sure
If “live each day as if it’s your last” means being paralyzed with anxiety and a sense of impending doom, then I am absolutely nailing it.

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2 months ago

absolutely, am, anxiety, being, dark, dark humor, day, death, doom, existential, existential humor, health, humor, humor about death, i, last, live, means, mental, mental health, procrastination, sarcasm, self-deprecating, sense
Sorry, I’m late. Time isn’t real, and I’m not convinced I am either.

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2 months ago

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So, you’re telling me I’m just supposed to get up every day and keep living like this? Seems like a scam to me.

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2 months ago

daily, daily life, day, every, existential, frustration, humor, humor quote, just, keep, life, life struggle, living, me, monotony, sarcasm, scam, seems, struggle, telling
I’ve tasted being employed, and I’ve tasted being unemployed. I recommend not being born.

0

2 months ago

being, born, employed, employment, existential, humor, humor quote, i, job, life, recommend, sarcasm, unemployed, unemployment, work
Good morning only to the complexity and uncertainty of everything.

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2 months ago

complexity, everything, existential, good, humor, morning, only, philosophical, uncertainty, wit

For even more funny existential quotes, hit next 👇

All funny existential quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

32 shares on Facebook this month:

My sex face is the same as my first pee in three hours face.

46 shares on WeChat this month:

Wanted to report a YouTube video, but there is no option for “Cringe”, so I just picked “Terrorism”.

26 shares on Telegram this month:

“You look tired.” Yes, bro, I stayed up all night obsessing over things I have no control over.

80 shares on YouTube this month:

They should invent going outside without people looking at you.

35 shares on Telegram this month:

70% of the planet is covered in water, yet here I am drowning in bullshit.

50 shares on Twitch this month:

There’s an epidemic of people just staring at their phones in their parked cars.

100 shares on Telegram this month:

Expecting your first baby’s exciting, but have you ever ordered a new coffee machine?

46 shares on Instagram this month:

When I like a woman, I start to gather gifts for her like a squirrel hoarding nuts.

45 shares on YouTube this month:

There are two types of people in the world, those who have to go to Walmart, and those who get to go to Walmart.

86 shares on Facebook this month:

The downside of common sense is, having to deal with those that lack it.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Meow means woof in cat.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Went jogging and came back after five minutes because I forgot something. Forgot I’m out of shape.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Headed to a wedding but my wife said I’m not allowed to refer to the bride as ‘the veiled threat.’

21 folks are currently checking 👀

A man’s home is his castle, but his garage is his sanctuary.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Handyman to customer: If I had wanted you to watch me work, I would have become an actor.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Notice how Lorde has a song called “Tennis Court” and not “Pickleball Court”? Tired of y’all pushing that fake sport.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Going from summer clothes to winter clothes: “Okay!” Going from winter clothes to summer clothes: “I AM NOT READY!”

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m developing a new fragrance for introverts. It’s called: “Leave me the fuh cologne”.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I have read the room and decided to be illiterate.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

My life is ruined. I wish to live no more. Never mind, I found the remote.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

531 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,124

Funny Quotes Topics

17,272

Funny Quotes Images

15,124

Updated

Dec 27, 2025

Users Online

3,626

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇫 has bookmarked:

Want to know what someone is really like? Play Monopoly with them.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has copied:

That feeling when it’s Friday, you blink once, and somehow it’s Monday again.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has bookmarked:

Your brain needs exercise just as much as your body does. That’s why I think of running everyday.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has bookmarked:

I simply accept my extreme loneliness as punishment for something I did in a past life, and don’t worry about it.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has copied:

What doesn’t kill you makes you weird at social gatherings.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has viewed:

Youngest siblings are literally weaponized incompetence, final boss.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has bookmarked:

Being a little older, I am very fortunate to have someone call and check on me every day. He’s from India, and he’s very concerned about my car warranty.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has viewed:

“Are you seeing anyone,” like hallucinating?

Someone from 🇰🇼 has shared:

The food hits different when it ain’t yours.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has downloaded:

Hey, boy, are you the worst-case scenario? Because you’re all I think about.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via LinkedIn:

The gym gives you energy, but you need energy to get to the gym. Feels like a pyramid scheme, if you ask me.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Everyone is getting pregnant or married, and I’m back to “What’s your favorite color?“

Freshly posted on Messenger:

If you gain 4 pounds in one weekend, that just means you’re an overachiever.

Trending via Discord:

If adulting had a return policy, I’d use it immediately.

Going bananas on Threads:

Damn boy, are you a horoscope? Because I’m selectively focusing on the parts of you that make sense for me.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Therapy isn’t enough. I need to be electrocuted and get my memory erased.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Most people don’t listen at all, they just wait until they can continue talking.

Just landed via TikTok:

Why do they have to make things childproof when I’m still functioning at a kindergarten level of dexterity?

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Today sucked so bad, I had to stop by the liquor store on my way to the bar.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Milking stools only have three legs, because the cow has the udder.

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