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2 months ago
Share →: “You’re such a stalker!” God forbid a woman wants to know more about her future husband.

Commentary:
"Ah, the fine line between love and stalking – it's all about perspective, really! 🕵️‍♀️🤷‍♂️ Who knew gathering intel on your future spouse could be frowned upon? 😂#RelationshipGoals #StalkerInLove"
2 months ago
Share →: God, I was so happy when I was 18. I wasn’t at the time, but in retrospect I was.

Commentary:
Ah, the sweet blissful ignorance of youth! 😄 What's the saying again? Youth is wasted on the young? 🤔 Well, at least you can look back at your 18-year-old self and have a good chuckle! 😜 #TheWisdomofHindsight
2 months ago
Share →: You only live once and thank God for that.

Commentary:
"Life is a rollercoaster ride, can you imagine having to do it again and again? 😅 Embrace the chaos, enjoy the ups and downs and remember to thank your lucky stars it's a one-time deal! 🎢✨"
2 months ago
Share →: “You’re always drinking wine!” God forbid a girl enjoys the first miracle of Jesus.

Commentary:
"Exactly! I'm just trying to channel my inner Jesus vibes, one sip at a time 🍷😇 #WineWednesdayMiracles"
2 months ago
Share →: “Stalking”. God forbid I have access to public information and know how to utilize my resources.

Commentary:
"Oh, you mean 'advanced social media research' 😉🔍 Just call me a tech-savvy Sherlock Holmes! 🕵️‍♂️ #ProfessionalStalker"
3 months ago
Share →: People that tell us what sex gods they are, what do you want us to do with that information?

Commentary:
"Ah, the infamous self-proclaimed sex gods! 🙄 Maybe they're hoping for a standing ovation? Or perhaps a trophy for 'Most Creative Use of Ego'? 🏆 Let's just hope they're as skilled in reality as they are in their imagination! 😂"
3 months ago
Share →: Shoutout to all ladies dating silently without making noise on social media. May God give you another man as a bonus.

Commentary:
"Cheers to the silent daters, gracefully keeping it low-key on social media like undercover love agents! 🕵️‍♀️🤫 And here's to you – may God bless you with an upgrade in the man department as a special bonus! 🎁😉 #StealthModeDating"
3 months ago
Share →: Got asked to be a godparent, proving God has lowered his recruitment standards.

Commentary:
Looks like even the Big Guy upstairs is embracing the 'just wing it' philosophy these days! Who knew being a godparent was as easy as saying a quick prayer and bringing a covered dish to the baptism party? Guess God is just looking for warm bodies with good hearts – and a decent sense of humor!
3 months ago
Share →: When my nudes go to the cloud, I always hope God is impressed.

Commentary:
"Sending nudes to the cloud – aiming for heavenly approval! 🌥️😇 #GodsReview"
3 months ago
Share →: Ask your doctor if it’s right for you to eat oranges and pretend they’re planets and you’re a Greek god.

Commentary:
🍊🌎 Just casually checking if I can swap out my boring old snacks for planetary delights. You know, in case I need to impress the other gods up there! 😂 #CitrusDietyGoals