Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇩 has bookmarked:

I wish rolling your eyes burned calories.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has viewed:

“This was on sale!” is why I’m always broke.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has shared:

Don’t tell me about your wild weekend. My TV remote died and I switched the batteries around, and now it’s working.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has shared:

Did you know that if a unicorn and I were to race, the unicorn would likely win cause unicorns are about as real as my desire to race anything?

Someone from 🇧🇴 has viewed:

No, they’re not “symptoms of depressions.” They’re Blue’s Clues.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has bookmarked:

I wish I was as tired at bedtime as I am at 2 p.m. on any given day.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has bookmarked:

I think it’s very sexy of me to still move with love in a world like this.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has downloaded:

Your annoying online persona has captured my heart.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has downloaded:

Stop expecting people to be as cool as you, it’s a recipe for disappointment.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has copied:

I remember when I was broke… I’m still broke, that’s why I remember so well.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,592

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on TikTok:

My exorcist thinks we should see other demons.

Broadcasted on Threads:

I will marry a tall, masculine, lovey-dovey man who can’t breathe when I ignore his existence.

Just landed via Slack:

Lady on the streets, Cheeto crumbs in my sheets.

Spotted on Twitch:

Marriage is so scary. What do you mean I can’t have my own room?

Broadcasted on Discord:

Giving all the dogs in my neighborhood matching sweaters for Christmas so they can be in a gang.

Seen just now on Facebook:

I’m a huge fan of saying “You’re welcome” really loudly when people don’t say thank you.

Freshly posted on X:

I suppose the supreme discipline for ninjas is sneaking up with flip flops.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Whoops, lost myself for about eight years there.

Broadcasted on Discord:

Ouija boards are like unannounced phone calls for ghosts.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here pumping gas until the dollar amount ends with 0.

139 Funny God quotes

More funny God quotes 👇

I wanna become so financially stable that God uses my pockets to bless others.

4 weeks ago

aspiration, bless, blessing, financial, financial stability, generosity, God, humor, i, money, others, pocket, pockets, stability, stable, wealth
Hey, man, we’re worshiping a false god later. If you wanna pull up.

4 weeks ago

casual, false, false god, God, humor, invitation, later, man, pull, slang, worship
Oh my God, “unc” means uncool. I thought it meant uncle. Like you’re carrying the energy of someone’s weird uncle.

4 weeks ago

carrying, energy, God, humor, i, language, meaning, means, meant, misunderstanding, oh, slang, thought, unc, uncle, uncool, weird, word, word meaning
Who’s your favorite horror director? Mine’s God.

4 weeks ago

director, favorite, God, horror, horror director
If you can figure out how to configure your default state to be slightly amused rather than slightly annoyed, you pretty much enter God Mode.

4 weeks ago

amusement, annoyance, annoyed, attitude, emotion, enter, figure, God, hack, humor, improvement, life, life hack, mindset, mode, motivation, much, positivity, pretty, self, self-improvement, state
God forbid a girl wanna kiss and be kissed.

4 weeks ago

affection, girl, God, humor, kiss, relationship
God doesn’t do nearly enough smiting anymore.

4 weeks ago

divine, enough, God, humor, joke, religion, sarcasm, smiting
Am I the only one who prays about everything? Like, ‘God, please help me find where I dropped my AirPods.’

4 weeks ago

AirPod, AirPods, am, dropped, everyday, everyday problem, everything, frustration, God, help, humor, i, item, lost, lost item, me, only, please, prayer, problem, technology, where
The idea that wisdom teeth are just some random glitch that God forgot to patch, so now we have to pull them out with modern technology, is retarded.

4 weeks ago

dental, dental extraction, extraction, forgot, glitch, God, humor, idea, just, modern, modern technology, patch, pull, random, technology, teeth, tooth, wisdom, wisdom tooth
If I was God, I would’ve equipped women with venom glands.

4 weeks ago

gland, God, humor, hypothetical, i, imagination, venom, venom gland, woman, women

For even more funny God quotes, hit next 👇

All funny God quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

24 shares on YouTube this month:

Sometimes I use big words I don’t always fully understand, in an effort to make myself sound more photosynthesis.

90 shares on Messenger this month:

People say opposites attract, but I say find a partner who’s deranged in the same ways you are and double your capacity to be annoying.

13 shares on Telegram this month:

Them: Good morning! Me: Where?

82 shares on Threads this month:

I don’t understand how I can remember every word of a song from 1984, but I can’t remember why I walked into the kitchen.

93 shares on Facebook this month:

“American Pope” sounds like the name of an Amazon prime original series you ignore.

83 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I hate it when my AirPods die instead of me.

10 shares on Threads this month:

I want to text this person, but I need to have shame and self-respect.

72 shares on WeChat this month:

I don’t know who needs to hear this but you’re not dying, it’s just Monday.

51 shares on Facebook this month:

I always need to pee, but it’s just because my heart is so big it pushes on my bladder.

79 shares on Discord this month:

Nobody declines a call faster than a 3-year-old watching YouTube.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇿 has bookmarked:

I spend half the day wondering if it’s too late for coffee and the other half wondering if it’s too early for alcohol.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has viewed:

January is the Monday of the year.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has downloaded:

I’m not super into getting older but I do like how nobody asks me to help them move anymore.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has downloaded:

Ever since I began sharing dad jokes, my followers have doubled in sighs.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has downloaded:

It would be nice to see basic human decency make a comeback.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has copied:

Why would I date a nonchalant man? I like my men how I like my thong.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has copied:

The only narcissist I allow in my life is my cat.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has viewed:

My issue with Jeopardy is that you never get the sense that the contestants are in any real danger.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has downloaded:

Since there is only one of me, does that make me limited edition?

Someone from 🇪🇨 has downloaded:

I wonder if my bank account thinks about me and has panic attacks.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Twitch:

Grant me the serenity to supernaturally change the things I cannot accept.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Have nothing to say, I just wanted to appear in your newsfeed.

Making waves on YouTube:

My 3 weeks without sweets were over after 12 hours. Proof that time runs faster with increasing age.

Making waves on Slack:

I wish British people had subtitles so I knew what they are on about.

Just shared via YouTube:

I’m actually pretty attractive, if you don’t compare me to anyone, ever.

Spotted on Instagram:

Writing ‘thanks.’ instead of ‘thanks!’ so you know I’m mad.

Trending via TikTok:

You’d think, with the amount of overthinking I do, I’d make the right decision.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

People in my real life annoy me, so I come online to annoy you.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Everyone talks about climate change, but no one has the courage to sacrifice a virgin to appease the gods.

Seen just now on Messenger:

One year older today, and still no closer to growing up.

Activity Log ✨

139 Funny God quotes

More funny God quotes 👇

All funny God quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨