Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇨 has downloaded:

The lion does not concern himself with attaching a cover letter.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has bookmarked:

Men have feelings too! Hunger, for example. Or thirst.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has downloaded:

If you collect the crumbs from one Nature Valley granola bar, you can make three more granola bars.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has bookmarked:

Hey! (with the intention of going back to sleep)

Someone from 🇰🇪 has copied:

I like to think of myself as an onion. Peel back the many layers and deep down inside you’ll find a smaller, more anxious onion.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has downloaded:

The October urge to live in a sleepy seaside town with a horrifying backstory.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has downloaded:

“Alcohol and beautiful women” is apparently not an appropriate answer when you are asked about your weaknesses in a job interview.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has viewed:

Dear people, who drive without music playing, what do you do with your brain?

Someone from 🇳🇮 has downloaded:

You can tell me what you want, but alcohol and eye contact are a dangerous combination.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has downloaded:

It’s all fun and games until you send the clapping emoji instead of the prayer hands when commenting on the news of a death in the family.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,331

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

I want to become so financially stable that God uses my pockets to bless others.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

Where do they get the seeds to plant seedless watermelons?

Seen just now on Discord:

Socks try to be monogamous, but most end up either single or having multiple different partners.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

I tried meowing back at the cat to show him I was making an effort, but he just switched to English.

Spotted on Slack:

How to have flat stomach: remove all of your organs.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

The day they handed out patience, I left because it was taking too long.

Spotted on X:

Last night the Internet stopped working so I spent a few hours with my family. They seem like good people.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Going from summer clothes to winter clothes: “Okay!” Going from winter clothes to summer clothes: “I AM NOT READY!”

Trending via Reddit:

A frittata is just an omelette for people too lazy to flip things.

Making waves on Facebook:

I just love the lack of privacy in the pharmacy line. Just standing there shouting out my name, date of birth, and exactly what is wrong with me for the world to hear.

11 Funny guest quotes

Funny guest quotes bring a burst of laughter 😂 and unexpected wisdom to any gathering! Whether from quirky friends or surprise visitors, these gems 💎 turn ordinary moments into unforgettable memories. Ready to giggle and share some hilarious insights? Let’s dive into the world of witty words and playful banter that keep parties buzzing and smiles wide! 🎉😄✨

New funny guest quotes 👇

From now on, I’m gonna tell guests that I made my house especially messy just for their visit. It was hard, but I got it done.

3 weeks ago

done, got, guest, guests, hard, home, hospitality, house, housekeeping, humor, i, joke, just, mess, messy, prank, tell, visit
I was guest-starring on The Love Boat when you woke me up. You’re dead to me.

3 weeks ago

boat, comedy, dead, dead to me, guest, guest star, humor, i, irritation, love, me, relationships, sarcasm, show, star, The Love Boat, TV, TV Show, wake, wake up, woke
An air mattress is the best way to tell your houseguests not to stay too long.

3 weeks ago

air, air mattress, best, comfort, etiquette, guest, guest etiquette, hospitality, houseguest, humor, mattress, social, social humor, stay, tell, too, visitor
A fun wedding bit is to sit next to a random guest, point to the bride or groom & whisper, “it should’ve been you”

4 weeks ago

activity, bride, fun, fun activity, groom, guest, humor, interaction, joke, prank, social, social interaction, wedding, whisper
Welcome to your 40s, your level of cleaning is directly related to whether your guest can see without readers.

1 month ago

40s, adulting, age, cleaning, expectations, eyesight, guest, humor, level, readers, related, welcome
I bet when you invited me to Thanksgiving dinner you didn’t think I’d stay this long.

1 month ago

bet, dinner, guest, humor, i, ID, invite, invited, me, stay, Thanksgiving, think
My personal brand is being the guest at a wedding who can’t dance but puts in a noticeable effort.

1 month ago

awkwardness, being, brand, dance, effort, fun, guest, humor, personal, social, wedding
The mattress in the guest room was perfectly fine until I had to sleep on it once.

1 month ago

comfort, experience, fine, guest, guest room, humor, i, mattress, room, sleep
Headed to a wedding but my wife said I’m not allowed to refer to the bride as ‘the veiled threat.’

1 month ago

bride, guest, humor, marriage, relationship, threat, veiled, veiled threat, wedding, wedding guest, wife
Welcome to your 40s, where the hair shows up uninvited and looks pissed to be here.

1 month ago

40s, aging, frustration, guest, hair, here, humor, looks, pissed, shows, uninvited, uninvited guest, welcome, where

For even more funny guest quotes, hit next 👇

All funny guest quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

57 shares on Discord this month:

Stop eating cakes with the fakes and come eat a bundt with a cundt.

87 shares on Reddit this month:

Life is basically avoiding people who have seen you naked, whilst trying to find new people to see you naked.

28 shares on Telegram this month:

I can’t wait to retire so I can get up at 6 a.m. and go drive around really slow and make everybody late for work.

18 shares on Twitch this month:

Strangers vomiting their beliefs all over you every day is not good for the soul.

11 shares on Pinterest this month:

Love is in the air, but so is the flu. Wash your hands!

45 shares on Messenger this month:

We argue about where to go for dinner for so long, it eventually becomes an argument on where to go for breakfast.

48 shares on Facebook this month:

My parents told me Santa wasn’t real when I was 16. Jokes on them, because I’m at the mall right now, and guess who’s here.

29 shares on TikTok this month:

Roses are red, tacos are delicious. I use paper plates, ’cause I hate doing dishes.

75 shares on TikTok this month:

I feel sorry for non-glasses wearers. They’ll never know the joy of cleaning them and suddenly being upgraded to the UHD package.

59 shares on TikTok this month:

I’ll let you guys know if the psych ward has wifi.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Studies show that people with high IQs tend to be lazy, or something like that. I didn’t read the whole article.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m at the age where the first thing I do when I get somewhere is look for a place to sit.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

The trash gets picked up tomorrow. Be ready.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t understand people who say “I don’t know how to thank you.” Like they never heard of money.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

The actors you see in movies are probably home by now.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Lord, please take this gas out of my stomach and put it in my car.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Mini skirts are so cute and fun, like, oops, my ass is out.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

We need to stop making more Christmas music. We have enough.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Daffodil totally sounds like an insult, you blooming daffodil.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I was walking near a construction site today and heard the foreman yell, “You’re doing a good job!” I know that was meant for me.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,694

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇸 has viewed:

Apparently, everyone on the Zoom calls outside my office finds my singing distracting.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has copied:

I try to contain my craziness, but the lid keeps popping off.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has downloaded:

If your boyfriend insists he rolls everywhere because it’s ‘faster than walking’, you may be dating a gamer.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has viewed:

I like to people-watch, but I’m an advanced people-watcher. When I spot another people-watcher, I like to watch them watching other people.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has downloaded:

Men are only nice for 3 weeks, then surprise you with another personality.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has viewed:

Took a break from Twitter for my mental health, so I’d figure I’d come back to ruin it again.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has bookmarked:

My neighbors were up shouting all night. I could barely hear my bagpipes.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has shared:

Cocktails can be tricky, because they taste like juice, but then the next thing you know… you can’t walk.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has copied:

“You’re always drinking wine!” God forbid a girl enjoys the first miracle of Jesus.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has bookmarked:

Keep your friends close, but your smartphone closer.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Threads:

For the amount of meat you get out of clam, I feel like we could just leave them alone.

Just shared via Facebook:

If being hard on yourself worked, it would have worked by now!

Shared recently on Messenger:

When you tickle a man to death by accident, it is manslaughter.

Making waves on YouTube:

Have you ever wanted to grab somebody by the shoulders, give them a good shake and whisper “Nobody cares!”

Just shared via Messenger:

Even before the internet, I always had a little side chat going on in my head.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Getting a random boner is a bit funny. Like, what is it, boy? What do you see?

Trending via Discord:

Everyone knows that Christmas is the celebration of the immaculate conception of Mariah Carey.

Spotted on Facebook:

I have one of those metal briefcases handcuffed to my wrist, and inside… my grandmother’s meatloaf recipe.

Shared recently on WeChat:

The idea that the zombies in the 28 Days series exist entirely in Britain is genuinely hilarious. The rest of the world saw that and was like, “Yeah, they can handle it on their own.”

Just shared via Pinterest:

I think it is mandatory, especially in the morning, to be quiet.

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Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴