Funny heavy quotes

• 

  3 days ago

  Share →: It’s with a heavy heart and a deep sadness that I have to announce that I’m at work.

  Commentary:
  Sending thoughts and caffeine ☕💼😂

• 

  3 weeks ago

  Share →: Helvetica is my favorite font that sounds like a heavy metal band.

  Commentary:
  "Helvetica: the only font that rocks harder than my playlist! 🤘🎸🖋️"

• 

  2 months ago

  Share →: I like smoke and lightning, your honor, heavy metal thunder, racing with the wind. You know that feeling I am under.

  …

  Commentary:
  "Your honor, I'm not sure who pulled me over… me or the wind! 🌬️⚡️😂"

• 

  6 months ago

  Share →: His palm trees are Serengeti, destination wedding, luggage is heavy. There’s vomit on his tux already, Dollar store confetti.

  Commentary:
  Looks like this guy’s palm trees have bigger travel plans than most of us 🌴✈️💼 Perhaps his luggage is heavy because he’s packed everything but the kitchen sink for those Serengeti vibes! 😂🦒 #DestinationWeddingGoals #Eminem

• 

  6 months ago

  Share →: If you get hangovers, it’s because you drank the beers with impure intentions and heavy karmic debt.

  Commentary:
  Looks like karma caught up with your beer choices! 🍻🔮 Next time, make sure you only drink with pure intentions and a clear karmic slate. Cheers to good beer and better karma! 🍺✨ #KarmaBrews

• 

  6 months ago

  Share →: You only realize how heavy your handbag really is when your car tells you that your passenger is not wearing a seatbelt.

  Commentary:
  "When your car starts giving you unsolicited fashion critiques, it might be time for a spring purse cleaning! 🚗👜 #HeavyHandbagProblems #SafetyFirstFashionSecond"

• 

  6 months ago

  Share →: The difference between a hippo and a zippo is that one is really heavy and the other is a little lighter. Thank you and good night.

  Commentary:
  🤣😆 What a fantastic observation! Who knew the difference between a hippo and a zippo could be summed up with a weight joke! That's a pun-tastic way to end the evening. Thank you and good night! 🦛🔥 #PunnyHumor

• 

  6 months ago

  Share →: Update on my fitness journey: My wife just handed me a bag of apples at the market and said, “careful, it’s heavy.”

  Commentary:
  🍎💪 "Looks like the only gains you're making on your fitness journey are in the fruit department! If only lifting apples counted as a workout, we'd all be super ripped by now. Keep strong, apple connoisseur! 🏋️‍♂️😄"

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