Wordgag ツ

6 months ago
Share →: I love when I get an email from a brand saying “we miss you!” with no coupon attached. Babe, a lot of people miss me, let’s be competitive here.

Commentary:
💌💔 Don't just say you miss me, show me the discount honey! 💸😂 Come on, brands, step up your game! There's a line of people waiting to win me back, get in on the competition! 🏆 #CouponOrBust #MissingMeAintEnough
6 months ago
Share →: Hey, I came over because the grass seemed really green here, but now that I’m looking back that grass actually looks crazy green, so I’m gonna go.

Commentary:
“BRB, just realized the grass is neon back home! 🚀🌱✨”
6 months ago
Share →: There is no sex. I lied. You are gonna lay here and take personality quizzes with me.

Commentary:
"Well, talk about a plot twist! 🤯 Who knew personality quizzes could be the ultimate form of intimacy? 💁‍♂️ Better get ready to discover whether you're a 'Which Disney princess are you?' or a 'What kind of cheese matches your aura?' kind of person! 🧀✨"
6 months ago
Share →: It should be illegal to take a nap and still have a headache when you wake up. Like, I shut it off and back on again, why are you still here?

Commentary:
"Taking a nap and waking up with a headache is like hitting the reset button on your brain, only to find out it's still running the same glitchy software! 💤🤕 #NapFail"
6 months ago
Share →: I woke up this morning and my hair looked like a Beatles lyric. Here, there, and everywhere.

Commentary:
"Looks like someone had a fab hair day! 🎶✨ Channeling those Beatles vibes with your hair getting a ticket to ride in all directions! Maybe a little help from Sergeant Pepper's comb would do the trick! 🚂💈 #FabFourHairGoals"
6 months ago
Share →: I hate when people ask me what I meant by something. Listen, I have no idea. I’m as confused here as you are. We’re both learning what I’m about to say at the exact same time.

Commentary:
"Communication is like a rollercoaster ride with me – buckle up and hold on tight because even I don't know where this sentence is going! 🎢😂 Let's embark on this wild linguistic journey together, discovering the meaning as it unfolds! 🤔🎉"
6 months ago
Share →: Me, adding fuel to the fire: I’m just here to help.

Commentary:
"Me, casually strolling in with a bottle of gasoline: Oh, just doing my bit to ignite the party! 🔥😄 #HelpfulIndeed"
6 months ago
Share →: Person in murder documentary: This is a small town. Things like this don’t happen here. Me: Um, based on the shows I watch, that’s all that happens in small towns.

Commentary:
🕵️‍♂️🎬 "Person in murder documentary: This is a small town. Things like this don’t happen here. Me: Um, based on the shows I watch, that’s all that happens in small towns." 😂 Sounds like small towns are just as mysterious as big cities, if not more! Who knew they were such hotbeds of crime and drama? 🕵️‍♀️🔍
6 months ago
Share →: Bought a house plant so I wouldn’t be the only one dying of dehydration around here.

Commentary:
"Who knew a house plant could be the ultimate hydration buddy! 🌿💧 Here's to ensuring there's always someone wilting more than you! 😂 #PlantParent"
6 months ago
Share →: Big city friend is complaining about a 10 minute wait for a subway while I sit here waiting for the rail replacement horse.

Commentary:
"Ah, the life of a rural commuter 🚂🐎! While urban dwellers grumble about delays on the subway, we countryside folk are here twiddling our thumbs waiting for the trusty rail replacement horse to trot on by. 🤠 #CountryLiving"