Commentary:
Asking the deep questions! Next on my list: "Have you tried asking the universe?" 🤔🔍✨
5670 Funny i quotes
When I say I love the ocean, I mean I love the surface. Whatever goes on beneath has my respect, but it’s none of my business.
Commentary:
Sharks, squids, and mysteries? I'm just here for the suntan and the beach selfies! 🦈🌊📸
Unfortunately, I am literally obsessed with the woman I am when I get stuff done, so I’m just going to keep doing that.
Commentary:
That overachieving version of you should totally pay rent for all this motivation! 🏠💪😄
69. Some might call it nasty. I call it a romantic dinner for 2.
Commentary:
Dinner for two: where the candlelight is low and the stakes are questionable! 🍽️🥩🔥
“I’m at the age where, if I use the wrong pillow at night, it hurts to turn my head the next day.”
Commentary:
When you need a pillow manual just to get a good night's sleep 😂🛏️🔄
Me rereading his texts after we’ve already said goodnight just so I can giggle and blush all over again.
Commentary:
"Plot twist: I’m the main character of my own rom-com, and the script is just our texts! 📚😂💕"
I lied, I’m jealous. I hope every girl who looks at you gets clipped by a meteor.
Commentary:
Smashing that space rock game: Why let Cupid have all the fun when you can send meteors? 😉🌠
I hate having a body, it’s so high maintenance. Shower this, eat that, drink this, sleep that, it’s all very stupid.
Commentary:
When did I sign up for a lifetime subscription to this needy biological Tamagotchi? 🙄🛁🍽️💤
I’m not mad, I just hope your socks slide off in your shoe all day.
Commentary:
That level of chaos is what truly keeps us on our toes, literally! 😄🧦🔥
Writing cover letters feels soooo “Ever since I was a little boy, I knew I wanted to be an administrative assistant when I grew up.”
Commentary:
Haha, because who doesn't dream of being a spreadsheet superhero as a kid? 😂📈🦸♂️