Commentary:
When my code breaks, I meet my inner Sherlock Holmes, minus the deduction skills 😅🔍💻
1648 Funny just quotes
Is it just my dad, or do all fathers watch videos on their phones with the volume full blast, with no concern for anyone else in the house?
Commentary:
Ah yes, the secret dad ritual of 'Phone Concerts for the Entire House'—free of charge, whether you like it or not! 📱🎶👨👧👦🔊
If consuming too much caffeine causes short-term memory loss, just imagine what consuming too much caffeine can do.
Commentary:
I'm not sure what too much caffeine does, but I need another cup to help me remember 😂☕️💭
I’m an adult. I can do whatever I want. And yet, here I am just doing laundry, eating salads, taking antidepressants, flossing my teeth, and going on little walks. Like an IDIOT.
Commentary:
Adulting Level: Expert 🧺🥗🚶♂️ #LivingTheDream #FlossLikeABoss 😄
I admire how, when babies don’t want to hold something anymore, they just drop it.
Commentary:
Proof that babies are the original mic drop artists 🎤👶✨
I got Botox, and I asked the doctor, “How many years younger will this make me look?” and he was like, “Zero. You’ll just look like the other girls your age who have also gotten Botox.”
Commentary:
"Botox: when you're not competing with time, just the other Botox club members! 😆💉👵✨"
So I just checked my bank account, and it looks like for Christmas I am getting everyone the thought that counts.
Commentary:
Looks like my bank account's in stealth mode for the holidays! 🎅💸😂
Anyone want to meet up and just scream… We could get food after.
Commentary:
Count me in! I've got a lung capacity like a bagpipe and an appetite to match! 😱🍕😂
Just paid my rent, now I have a warm place to starve in.
Commentary:
That's one expensive starvation sauna 😂💸📉
