16 Funny killed quotes — Wordgag ツ

Stopped using exclamation points in work messages so my coworkers know they’ve killed my spirit.

3 weeks ago3 weeks ago

After smartphones, we never got pictures of Bigfoot anymore. You know why? That’s right: 5G killed all the Bigfoots.

1 month ago1 month ago

I’m old enough to remember when the hole in the ozone layer killed us all off.

2 months ago2 months ago

They probably killed the first few people whose eyes turned red in a photograph before they realized it wasn’t any demon stuff.

3 months ago3 months ago

You want me to do Pilates? The thing that killed Jesus?

5 months ago5 months ago

You ever killed your own vibe by remembering?

Feb 25, 2025

Cupid’s arrow should have just killed me instead.

Feb 21, 2025Feb 21, 2025

You want me to attend a work meeting? The thing that killed Julius Caesar?

Feb 3, 2025Feb 3, 2025

If I’m reading my Twitter feed correctly, Jennifer Aniston killed JFK.

Feb 3, 2025Feb 3, 2025

RIP to everyone killed by the Gods for their hubris, but I’m different. And better. Maybe even better than the Gods.

Jan 27, 2025

Ancestors survived five mass extinctions on earth for me to be killed by a house cat I was trying to put a Christmas sweater on.

Jan 26, 2025

A McRib killed my tapeworm.

Jan 25, 2025

Your odds are greater of being killed by a coconut rather than a shark and this is exactly why I don’t swim in coconut-infested waters.

Jan 25, 2025

Hot wings have killed many people starting with a dude named Icarus.

Jan 23, 2025

You want me to sit in the back seat? The thing that killed JFK?

Jan 23, 2025

Tryna choke on gummy bears so my tombstone can read ‘killed by a bear’

Jan 21, 2025