17 Funny killed quotes

• Stopped using exclamation points in work messages so my coworkers know they’ve killed my spirit.

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  18 hours ago

  communication, coworker, coworkers, exclamation, exclamation point, humor, killed, know, message, messages, office, point, sarcasm, spirit, stopped, using, work, work message

• After smartphones, we never got pictures of Bigfoot anymore. You know why? That’s right: 5G killed all the Bigfoots.

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  1 day ago

  5G, after, Bigfoot, conspiracy, got, humor, joke, killed, know, never, picture, pictures, right, smartphone, technology, why

• Asking my boyfriend if he would still date me if an alien had done experiments on me that killed me but, as a gesture of kindness, replaced me with a perfect replica, and he was the only one who knew.

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  1 month ago

  alien, asking, boyfriend, date, done, experiment, gesture, humor, killed, kindness, me, only, perfect, relationship, replica, still

• I’m old enough to remember when the hole in the ozone layer killed us all off.

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  2 months ago

  age, apocalypse, change, climate, climate change, disaster, enough, environmental, environmental joke, exaggeration, hole, humor, joke, killed, layer, memory, old, old age, ozone, ozone layer, remember, survival, us

• They probably killed the first few people whose eyes turned red in a photograph before they realized it wasn’t any demon stuff.

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  2 months ago

  before, demon, eyes, humor, joke, killed, misunderstanding, paranormal, people, photograph, photography, red, stuff, supernatural, superstition, turned

• You want me to do Pilates? The thing that killed Jesus?

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  2 months ago

  exercise, fitness, humor, Jesus, killed, me, Pilates, reference, religious, religious reference, sarcasm, thing, want

• You ever killed your own vibe by remembering?

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  2 months ago

  awareness, ever, humor, killed, mood, nostalgia, own, remembering, self-reflection, vibe

• Cupid’s arrow should have just killed me instead.

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  2 months ago

  arrow, Cupid, death, humor, irony, joke, just, killed, love, me, relationship, romantic, should

• You want me to attend a work meeting? The thing that killed Julius Caesar?

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  2 months ago

  Caesar, historical, historical reference, humor, julius, Julius Caesar, killed, me, meeting, reference, reluctance, sarcasm, thing, want, work

• If I’m reading my Twitter feed correctly, Jennifer Aniston killed JFK.

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  2 months ago

  aniston, celebrity, conspiracy, feed, humor, Jennifer, Jennifer Aniston, JFK, killed, media, news, reading, satire, social, social media, Twitter

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