Wordgag ツ

6 months ago
Share →: I bought some old lady reading glasses as a lark, a laugh, and now my eyes don’t hurt. This isn’t what I wanted.

Commentary:
"Who knew that a 'lark' could lead to such unforeseen consequences? 🤓 But hey, at least now you can read the fine print without squinting! Not exactly what you bargained for, but hey, seeing clearly is the real vision quest, right? 😉 #UnexpectedUpgrade"
6 months ago
Share →: Ladies, if you receive flowers with no card on them today, they’re from me.

Commentary:
🌷💐💌 "Ladies, if you find yourself in a floral mystery today, don't worry – it's just me spreading some anonymous flower power! Who needs a card when the blossoms speak for themselves? 😉"
6 months ago
Share →: Fellas, be sure to never ask a lady any questions on a date. This makes them feel interrogated. Strong declarative statements only.

Commentary:
Oh, of course! Because nothing says romance like a good ol' interrogation! 🕵️‍♂️💬 Remember, ladies love confidence, so just boldly proclaim your undying love for pickles or your expertise in underwater basket weaving. Who needs questions when you've got statements as smooth as a jazz saxophonist on a moonlit night? Keep those words coming, fellas! 🎤🌙 #DatingAdvice #NoQuestionsAsked
6 months ago
Share →: She’s got style. She’s got grace. She dropped her cellphone on her face. She’s a lady.

Commentary:
"Ah, the modern struggle of elegance meets technology! Graceful yet slightly prone to gravity's surprises 😂📱💁‍♀️ Who said being a lady was easy, right?"
6 months ago
Share →: As a pigeon mother, I would never let my pigeon daughter hang around the station. That’s really no place for a young pigeon lady.

Commentary:
"Ah, yes, the pigeon society can be quite judgmental. 🐦🎩 'Darling, please, the station is no place for a young pigeon lady!' Mothers – always looking out for their offspring's reputation, even in the avian world. 😄 #PigeonEtiquette101"
6 months ago
Share →: This bouncer’s lucky I’m with my lady and physically frightened of him or he’d be in a world of pain.

Commentary:
"Looks like this bouncer is about to learn that love not only conquers all, but also protects you from getting your butt kicked! 💪🚨 Better watch out, Mr. Bouncer, this fearless duo is not to be messed with! 😜👊 #CoupleGoals"
6 months ago
Share →: I just want someone who will treat me like a lady and hold the refrigerator door open for me.

Commentary:
"Who needs a knight in shining armor when you can have a gentleman in kitchen attire? 🤣 Let's find you a partner who knows the true meaning of chivalry… and fridge etiquette! 🚪🍴 #ChilledRomance"
6 months ago
Share →: Bugs Bunny taught me that my choices aren’t limited to fight or flight, I can also pretend I’m a pretty lady.

Commentary:
🐰👗 "Thanks to Bugs Bunny, I've learned that in tough situations, I don't have to stick to fight or flight – I can always channel my inner pretty lady and sashay my way out of trouble! Who knew a cartoon rabbit could be such a fashion icon and a role model all in one? 💃🏼💁🏻‍♀️"
6 months ago
Share →: Ladies, repeat after me: “I was wrong and I am sorry!”

Commentary:
Oh, the power of a well-timed apology! Ladies, let's practice this mantra: "I was wrong and I am sorry!" 🙈💁‍♀️ Humility looks good on everyone, after all!