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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇸 has downloaded:

We always asked “where is Waldo” but never “who is Waldo hiding from”.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has shared:

Taking my heart off my sleeve, I fold it up neatly and carefully place it back inside my chest.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has shared:

I’m at that point on a Monday where no.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has shared:

I’m thinking stuff like “yeah” and also stuff like “yup.”

Someone from 🇺🇿 has shared:

If you stare at your face in the back of a spoon you look a lot like someone who doesn’t know how to use cutlery.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has downloaded:

Restaurant toilets are dangerous! So many of my dates have gone to use them and vanished.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has shared:

Her heart is a combination of wildflowers and wildfires, delicate, yet so fierce.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has shared:

Can someone please fix the algorithm of my life?

Someone from 🇦🇲 has viewed:

Sleep well, middle finger—you’ve got a big day ahead of you tomorrow.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has bookmarked:

Farmers markets should be for vegetables — not for millennials unloading their failed Etsy-store arts and crafts.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

801 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,963

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,963

Updated

13 minutes ago

Users Online

3,435

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Instagram:

And what do we do when we are sad? “Add to cart”

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

December you will be good to me (threateningly).

Just landed via Messenger:

I hate it when I turn on the car in the morning and the music starts blasting… It’s like, woah, I’m not the same person I was last night.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Some people can eat anything they want and stay slim. I put on weight just by reading the recipe.

Just landed via Pinterest:

It’s only 9am and I’ve already ruined my son’s entire life by giving him the banana with the brown spot on it.

Going viral on WeChat:

I’m done with dating sites and am now only focusing on food delivery people. They have a job, a car, and most importantly food.

Spotted on Snapchat:

You never realize how long a minute is until you’re exercising.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

They should invent a man who is being genuine when he says things to me.

Making waves on Facebook:

I am single, please disturb me!

Going viral on Twitch:

Her: how are you still single? Me: it’s easier than you think.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

801 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,963

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,963

Updated

13 minutes ago

Users Online

3,435

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇸 has bookmarked:

Pets don’t talk because the moment they do, the government will tax them.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has copied:

Meatloaf is a good safe word. It means I would do anything for love, but I won’t do that…

Someone from 🇨🇿 has copied:

The more you embrace your crazy side, the more fun life becomes.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has viewed:

I learned that when dogs lean against you it’s their version of hugging and now every time my dog leans against me my eyes start leaking.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has viewed:

Spotify wrapped is like my annual mental health report and it’s getting worse by each passing year.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has bookmarked:

It’s amazing how cats can ignore you with both ears.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has copied:

You ever get into such a weird mood you have to put yourself on house arrest for a couple days?

Someone from 🇧🇭 has viewed:

Turtles made out of plastic, problem solved.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has viewed:

Sperm me would be swimming in the other direction.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has viewed:

I need a button in Zoom meetings where it just freezes my screen and makes it look like I’m having network issues.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on X:

My head is starting to get dented from hitting rock bottom so often.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

So I think the mammals have now ravaged this planet long enough. It’s time for the reptiles to take over again.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

I’m convinced the washing machine is a portal to another dimension for socks.

Just landed via X:

When I turned into the harbor of marriage, I didn’t know that a warship was anchored there.

Breaking via Reddit:

Hey (threateningly), can I join your years-old, tight-knit, close friend group?

Just landed via Snapchat:

“Made with love,” means I licked the spoon and kept using it.

Going viral on Snapchat:

When a lady compliments your facial hair, have the goddamn decency to compliment hers.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

It’s okay to love your job. Just know it doesn’t love you back.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Kim Kardashian wants her ashes to be scattered in the sea after her death. As if there wasn’t enough plastic there already.

Just shared via Telegram:

My co-workers found out when my birthday is so now I need to find a new job.

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