Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇦 has viewed:

Going to ragebait men by asking, “Do you ever wish you were tall?”

Someone from 🇱🇰 has copied:

I haven’t lost my virginity because I never lose.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has copied:

My wife just admitted a mistake. What do I have to do now? What does this mean for my future? Help me!

Someone from 🇧🇿 has bookmarked:

The IRS needs special envelopes for when you’re not in trouble.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has viewed:

Hairless cats look like the devil screwed up a possession.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has bookmarked:

Welcome to adulthood: you’re not exhausted, you’re just awake. Have a nice day.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has shared:

Imagine surviving Covid 19 and then China releases Covid 19S Plus Pro.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has shared:

Hardest part of beekeeping is thinking of all the names.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has bookmarked:

The more I use social media, the more I see why children shouldn’t.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has shared:

Bought a pair of night vision goggles so that I can easily find the fridge at night without waking my wife.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,463

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Discord:

Can hardly wait until my winter fat turns into spring rolls.

Trending via Slack:

If you’re having a good day today, don’t play Wordle.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Facebook: because time isn’t going to pass on it’s own.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Nobody talks about the privilege of having a friend who shows interest in your hyperfixations.

Live now on Threads:

“Comparison is the thief of joy!” Well, not if you’re better than everyone else.

Just landed via Messenger:

God doesn’t do nearly enough smiting anymore.

Trending via YouTube:

I’m so tired. Let’s see all of the horrible things happening in the world today before I try to sleep peacefully.

Broadcasted on Threads:

Vaping: When you feel like smoking but don’t want to look cool.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Sucking melted cheese off the burger wrapper as God intended.

Broadcasted on Threads:

I don’t want to end this year on bad terms with anybody. Could you please apologize to me?

53 Funny multitasking quotes

Funny multitasking quotes 🎭 are the perfect way to celebrate the chaos of doing everything at once while keeping a smile on your face 😄. Whether you’re juggling coffee ☕, emails 📧, or kids 👶, these witty gems will make you chuckle as you attempt to balance it all. From cheeky insights to laugh-out-loud truths, they capture the art of spinning plates 🍽️ with humor and grace. Dive into the hilarity and embrace the multitasking madness! 🎉

New funny multitasking quotes 👇

A good audiobook will have you inventing chores to do.

8 hours ago

audiobook, chore, chores, entertainment, good, humor, multitasking, procrastination
I want time to watch more films, but I also want time to read more books, but I also want time to look at more nothing.

8 hours ago

book, books, film, films, humor, i, leisure, management, multitasking, nothing, procrastination, read, relaxation, time, time management, want, watch
I’m of the very strong opinion that sex ed should be taught by a woman 37 weeks into her third pregnancy, while her husband sits scrolling through his phone, and her other two children run wild.

11 hours ago

child, children, ed, family, humor, husband, multitasking, opinion, parenting, phone, pregnancy, run, scrolling, sex, sex ed, should, strong, taught, third, through, weeks, while, wild, woman
Making dinner with my left hand, so it feels like someone else is doing it.

17 hours ago

cooking, dinner, doing, else, feels, funny thought, hand, humor, kitchen, left, left hand, making, multitasking, someone, thought
Twitter hits different, cause it’s like the only social media app you can use effectively while playing music.

18 hours ago

app, cause, different, media, multitasking, music, only, playing, social, social media, Twitter, while
My therapist should also do my nails while we’re talking.

18 hours ago

care, humor, multitasking, nail, nail care, nails, self-care, session, should, talking, therapist, therapy, therapy session, while
Sure, sex is great, but have you ever closed a dozen tabs after finishing an academic paper?

19 hours ago

academic, academic paper, after, browsing, closed, ever, frustration, great, humor, internet, internet browsing, life, multitasking, paper, productivity, sex, student, student life, sure, tabs
Not to brag, but I drove and found a place I was looking for without turning down my music today.

21 hours ago

accomplishment, brag, driving, found, humor, i, looking, multitasking, music, navigation, place, today, turning
Juggling screen time is the ultimate multitasking Olympics.

23 hours ago

balance, humor, juggling, multitasking, Olympics, screen, screen time, technology, time
I need a Netflix show called: “Background noise while you scroll on your phone.”

1 day ago

background, background noise, entertainment, i, multitasking, need, Netflix, noise, phone, scroll, show, while

For even more funny multitasking quotes, hit next 👇

All funny multitasking quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

58 shares on Instagram this month:

I’ve never wrestled an angry alligator, but I have taken off a wet sports bra in the middle of summer. So, same thing.

35 shares on Twitch this month:

Not to brag, but I can shake your hand and forget your name simultaneously.

36 shares on Twitch this month:

The breathing exercises from the birth preparation course are only needed once the child has reached puberty.

14 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Putting mental health before my education is a good idea until it affects my education, which affects my mental health, which affects my education.

75 shares on Snapchat this month:

Therapy should be free and accessible because getting traumatized is free and accessible.

63 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Got sent to HR for calling someone a “jellyfish” — just floating around all day, doing absolutely nothing.

37 shares on TikTok this month:

That moment you turn down the music while driving around looking for a street address, so you can see better.

67 shares on Facebook this month:

I have the body of a god. Sadly, it’s Buddha after brunch.

38 shares on Facebook this month:

Turning in bad essays to professors you have a personal relationship with is the most humiliating thing ever.

13 shares on LinkedIn this month:

My age is news to me every single time I remember.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Gravity, at all times, is trying to pull your pants down.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Not to brag, but I can put my socks on without sitting down.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Is everyone enjoying their entire month of August off work with full pay? Oh yeah, I forgot, only Congress gets to do that.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Women will brag about their intuition, and then date a DJ.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Telemarketer: “Hello, am I speaking to the head of the household?” Me, handing the phone to my cat: “It’s for you.”

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Reading for pleasure implies the existence of reading for pain. They’re calling it a PhD.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

If you’re ever intimidated by someone just imagine them opening a Capri Sun.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Tech bro obsessed with “storytelling,” but hasn’t read a book in the last 5 years.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I liked the version of you from the other dimension better.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Too many losers and not enough people telling them they’re losers.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,538

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇹 has bookmarked:

My five-year plan only requires a few acts of God.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has copied:

I rode around the block on my bike for the first time in years and now I understand why Lance Armstrong took performance enhancing drugs.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has bookmarked:

How many of you also constantly take screenshots of something and then never look at them again?

Someone from 🇵🇰 has bookmarked:

Happiness is an inside job.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has bookmarked:

Imagine if you spent all your time studying, actually studying.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has shared:

I’m starting to think the voice in my head doesn’t like me very much.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has shared:

I told you so. Kind regards, your gut feeling.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has viewed:

“How would you describe yourself.” Me: I absolutely would not.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has shared:

Be the nonsense you wish to see in the world.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has downloaded:

The only thing worse than children talking about sex is adults talking about politics.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Pinterest:

Doctor said I am terminally chill.

Live now on Facebook:

If you’re worried that you added too much cheese to the recipe, I am here to reassure you that you did not.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

Sorry, can’t. I took my bra off and threw it across the room an hour ago. There’s no coming back from that.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

I don’t pay attention to the world ending. It has ended for me many times, and began again in the morning.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

The feelings I have for Tom Cruise are the closest approximation I have to what patriotism must feel like.

Just shared via Discord:

If you live in the same hemisphere as me, you’ve probably already heard me sneeze.

Seen just now on Discord:

I don’t need a psychic to tell me which planets make me sad. It’s earth.

Live now on Telegram:

My stress stresses me out to the point where I’m too stressed to deal with my stress.

Trending via LinkedIn:

The reason most of us stay up late is because we don’t want our free time to end, and tomorrow to start.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

My future husband is very lucky; he will never stay hungry, because I know so many restaurants with delicious food.

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