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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇦 has downloaded:

Before you beef with me, just know I’m deeply malicious to my core once upset.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has viewed:

My only regret is not leaving people alone the first time they moved funny.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has bookmarked:

Don’t forget to have an orgasm today. Partner is optional. Pleasure is not.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has downloaded:

Saw a guy reading a book and writing notes in it. Not enough words in there for ya, bud?

Someone from 🇨🇻 has shared:

But what if I don’t want someone that’s good for me?

Someone from 🇧🇫 has shared:

Imagine how loud a centipede would be if they wore tiny little flip flops.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has copied:

Where do I see myself in 5 years? I don’t even know where I am right now.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has downloaded:

Yeah, sex is great, but have you ever checked your bank account and had way more money than you expected.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has shared:

I heard you like bad girls. Well, I’m bad. At everything.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has downloaded:

I will restart the entire song if you talk over my favorite part.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,601

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Reddit:

I’m going to be real pissed if I get my shit together and the world ends.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

You don’t get to tell me what to do, you’re not my cat.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

I can feel your energy from two planets away.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

I’ll never tell anyone your secret because that would mean talking to people.

Just shared via Facebook:

My dog is quite vain. Whenever the doorbell rings, he thinks it’s for him.

Just landed via Instagram:

Within a week, we’ve had a major jewel heist, a mafia-involved poker ring, and sports gambling corruption. We’re living in the 1920s.

Shared recently on WeChat:

My favorite machine at the gym is the vending machine.

Spotted on Messenger:

I’m at the age where I have to warm up first before jumping to conclusions.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Seen an ambulance at the hospital. I hope the doctors are okay.

Trending via TikTok:

Dads hate stopping on road trips because then all of the vehicles they worked hard to pass for the last hour get back ahead of them.

42 Funny parody quotes

Funny parody quotes 🎭 are like comedy gold nuggets mined from the depths of imagination, ready to tickle your funny bone and brighten your day! 🤣 Dive into a world where sarcasm meets creativity, and everything from classic literature to modern movies gets a hilarious twist. Whether you’re a meme connoisseur or a casual chuckler, these quotes will have you laughing out loud and sharing the joy with friends. Ready for a giggle fest? Let the parody parade begin! 🎉

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Funny Quotes Collections
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Social Media Stars ⭐

45 shares on Threads this month:

I don’t want to “act young”. I just can’t be as “grown up” as others my age.

40 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Fog. When nature is too lazy to load the complete environment.

44 shares on Snapchat this month:

We need a true crime show called Downtown Stabby.

53 shares on Facebook this month:

A bird just flew into our glass door. Іt’s not dead. Just really embarrassed.

11 shares on Reddit this month:

“I’m depressed because there’s not enough cheese in this world to satisfy my hunger for it.”

59 shares on Twitch this month:

I’ve been saying for years that cigs are better for you than vapes, and the vindication I feel now is just orgasmic.

49 shares on TikTok this month:

If history is repeating itself, when can I buy a pet dinosaur?

98 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Confession: If you’ve ever been in a revolving door with me, I was only pretending to push.

72 shares on Instagram this month:

Nothing tests your patience like a group chat blowing up your phone.

80 shares on Facebook this month:

Anyone know how to grow a money tree?

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Cake hits so much harder off a plastic fork.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

If I say “First of all,” run away, because I have prepared research, data, charts and I will totally prove you wrong.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Hey girl, are you an extraterrestrial? ’Cause your husband’s out here acting like you don’t exist.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I try not to post too much, to give everyone else a better chance at being seen.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

The people who “don’t have time” and the people who “always find time” have the same amount of time.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

“I’m sure it’ll turn up” – Translation: I’m bored of helping you look.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I bought all this healthy food at the grocery store today and now I’m trying to decide if I want Chinese food or pizza delivered for dinner tonight.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

The only thing Flat Earthers have to fear is sphere itself.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Don’t tell me what to do unless you are naked.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

At this point, I’m sure I’ll meet an alien or zombies before I meet the love of my life!

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,245

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇷 has shared:

The way I forget stuff at my age, I just know it is over for me after 50.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has bookmarked:

Due to unfortunate circumstances, things are no longer fergalicious nor bootylicious.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has bookmarked:

Cats hear everything. They just don’t care.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has bookmarked:

If I ask “What’s your zodiac sign?” it’s either because we’re vibing or you’re getting on my nerves.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has bookmarked:

The only career advice I have is make every decision that moves you closer to not having to be on LinkedIn.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has shared:

Maybe dogs are smarter than us because they found a way to get fed and housed without having to go to college and get a job.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has viewed:

Making a record-breaking number of bad choices today, I’m really proud of myself.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has copied:

The question is, what will kill humanity this century? Artificial intelligence or natural stupidity?

Someone from 🇨🇬 has viewed:

I’ve finally found a book that speaks to me. I believe it’s called an “audiobook”.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has viewed:

So deep in her Instagram story, I accidentally liked an ad for a Toyota.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via WhatsApp:

Working out consistently yields results, but mannnnnnn…… the laundry.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

Here’s a question for all the mind readers out there.

Live now on Twitch:

Oh, so ChatGPT is gonna tell me about me? Seems gossipy.

Breaking via Messenger:

Have you ever “accidentally” eaten a family sized bag of chips?

Just shared via Instagram:

Nowadays you don’t even have to go to the zoo. A trip to the mall is enough.

Shared recently on Threads:

Can’t. I’m busy taking this Buzzfeed quiz to find out what kind of potato I am.

Shared recently on YouTube:

I wish I was born into wealth so I could have a nice 1-bedroom apartment.

Going bananas on Threads:

Nonchalant men are not for me. I want mine to have a panic attack if we’re not talking.

Making waves on Threads:

Dating app that matches you based on your risk tolerance for airport arrival timing.

Spotted on Messenger:

My goal is to do one thing each day that could prevent me from being elected to political office.

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