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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇷 has viewed:

Having a pool is so neat. All of your friends are suddenly interested to catch up on the hottest days of the year.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has copied:

Why do babies cry when they are tired? Like, just go to sleep, bro, no one is stopping you.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has viewed:

I don’t understand people who say “I don’t know how to thank you.” Like they never heard of money.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has bookmarked:

Do u guys also have a story in your head, and when you’re bored, you just add more to it and continue from where you left off?

Someone from 🇧🇦 has shared:

The thing I’ve always found tricky about money is knowing how much I should have.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has shared:

I don’t see why walking is healthy. Zombies walk constantly and they look awful.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has viewed:

Someone asked me how much I normally spend on a bottle of wine. Answering “usually an hour” wasn’t the right answer. I know this now.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has viewed:

That song stuck in my head is “Don’t Speak”; I have no doubt in my mind.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has downloaded:

The best part about having a crush is when they crush all your hopes and dreams.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has copied:

This book ain’t got no pictures.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,411

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via TikTok:

I was born a boy, but according to the packaging, I identify as a family of four.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

My biggest motivation for getting out of bed in the morning is knowing that I will eventually be able to get back in the bed.

Spotted on Telegram:

Sometimes I just stand in the sun and stare at nothing, like a dog.

Making waves on Instagram:

ASAP (as sapphic as possible).

Shared recently on Twitch:

He just walked right into my heart and switched on the lights.

Breaking via Snapchat:

A gender-neutral equivalent of ‘sugar daddy’ is glucose guardian.

Going viral on Slack:

You know you’re old when you you barely do anything all day, but still need a nap to continue doing barely anything.

Going viral on Pinterest:

I’m so broke, I owe myself money.

Just shared via Telegram:

Well, well, well, if it isn’t that thing I’ve been ignoring until it became a giant problem.

Shared recently on Threads:

I don’t know much, but I know this: the older you get, the faster the number of things you’re willing to wait in line for approaches zero.

1112 Funny people quotes

More funny people quotes 👇

People don’t hate working, they hate working and still being poor.

4 days ago

being, frustration, hate, humor, income, job, money, people, poor, poverty, still, work, working
We need a slur for people that use AI.

4 days ago

AI, humor, language, need, people, slang, slur, technology, technology user, user
White elephant: Nothing brings people together like fighting over absolute garbage.

4 days ago

competition, elephant, exchange, fight, fighting, game, garbage, gift, gift exchange, holiday, holiday game, humor, nothing, over, people, together, white, white elephant
Software engineers are the dumbest smart people I’ve ever met.

4 days ago

dumb, dumbest, engineer, ever, humor, intelligence, met, paradox, people, smart, software, software engineer
Therapists probably have to struggle so hard not to ask to see pictures of the people their clients are obsessing over.

4 days ago

ask, client, clients, hard, health, humor, mental, mental health, obsession, over, people, picture, pictures, psychology, struggle, therapist
Love when people summon Grok and there’s no reply. He just doesn’t care sometimes.

4 days ago

care, grok, humor, indifference, just, love, people, personification, reply, sometimes, summon
It’s so beautiful to see people just give up at work this time of year. I’m getting emails that do not include any complete sentences.

4 days ago

beautiful, Christmas, complete, email, emails, getting, give, holiday, holiday season, humor, just, people, procrastination, season, sentence, time, work, year
Hiking in your 40s is a great way to meet new people. Today I met two paramedics, three nurses, a cardiologist, and nearly met Jesus.

4 days ago

40s, accident, activity, cardiologist, great, health, hiking, humor, i, Jesus, medical, meet, met, new, nurse, outdoor, outdoor activity, paramedic, people, three, today
What did people do before alarm clocks? Just go to bed like, “Hope I wake up in time for work tomorrow.”

4 days ago

alarm, alarm clock, bed, bedtime, before, clock, clocks, hope, humor, i, just, morning, morning routine, people, routine, sleep, time, tomorrow, wake, waking, waking up, work
Turns out, college is all about forming unspoken, powerful bonds with people you talk to twice.

4 days ago

bond, college, conversation, forming, friendship, humor, interaction, people, powerful, social, social interaction, talk, twice, unspoken

For even more funny people quotes, hit next 👇

All funny people quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

59 shares on Telegram this month:

Writers should get a direct line to the FBI so we can call them and give them a heads up when we’re googling ways to poison someone but just for a story.

81 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Rule number 1 at a concert: Don’t sing while filming!

35 shares on X this month:

That one friend who has a dangerously loose grasp on food safety.

98 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Leave me alone, man. I’m just living my life like a candle in the wind.

42 shares on Discord this month:

Watching 2+ movies a day to prevent a thought from happening.

39 shares on Slack this month:

“I’ll see” = not coming, never was coming, never even considered it.

78 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Girls actually do love nice guys. It’s just that you’re not as nice a guy as you think you are…

82 shares on Threads this month:

Someone needs to invent a kid that listens the first time.

60 shares on WeChat this month:

There’s a rhyming Italian expression for saying “take it or leave it” that goes “o mangi questa minestra o salti dalla finestra”. It means “either eat this soup or throw yourself out the window”.

17 shares on Snapchat this month:

I’ve never completed a marathon, but I’ve listened to my mom tell a story, so don’t talk to me about endurance.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇹 has downloaded:

Friends with no kids are like: Want to go to New Zealand this Friday?

Someone from 🇺🇸 has shared:

I like how people say “travel safely” like I’m the one flying the plane.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has bookmarked:

Being an adult is mumbling ‘this is stupid’ as you reluctantly slide out of bed.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has downloaded:

Fun like a LinkedIn notification.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has downloaded:

I think something is so beautifully wrong with you.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has viewed:

Watching a movie and subtitles not syncing is low-key pain.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has copied:

Remember when Mustangs were muscle cars and not an embarrassment to the name.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has shared:

Welcome to adulthood: you’re not hungover, it’s just Tuesday.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has bookmarked:

Handyman to customer: If I had wanted you to watch me work, I would have become an actor.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has viewed:

The nice thing about wintertime is that it’s darker for longer, so you see a lot less people.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Threads:

People keep inviting me to stuff. I miss the pandemic.

Just shared via Slack:

I’m nearly qualified to be a weaver. My final exam is looming.

Breaking via Discord:

Getting a boner because the Lego instructions are telling me what to do.

Going bananas on Facebook:

Laying in a hammock is essentially saying, “I hope there are no emergencies.”

Spotted on Threads:

Please don’t ask me to repeat myself. I wasn’t listening either.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Me pulling into a full parking lot: Don’t these people have homes?

Making waves on Discord:

Pouring an ice-cold glass of anxiety.

Trending via Telegram:

The feminine urge to turn you on and not do anything about it.

Going viral on X:

I’m gonna start telling men I know a spot and it’s just me dropping them off at therapy.

Spotted on Snapchat:

I don’t drink blood to stay young. I do it mainly for the lifestyle.

Activity Log ✨

1112 Funny people quotes

More funny people quotes 👇

All funny people quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨