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713 Funny people quotes

Trending Funny People Quotes 🔥

Common sense is like deodorant. The people who need it most never use it.
I’m so old, I used to block people by simply holding the door shut.
The more stupid the views, the harder it is to talk people out of them.
People ask you, “are you crazy”, and then get scared when you answer, “yes”.
I used to work at McDonald’s and we only told ugly people that the ice cream machine was broken. So I have bad news if you were ever denied ice cream.

More funny people quotes 👇

4 weeks ago
Share →: I’m running out of people I like.

Commentary:
"Looks like I need to start a campaign to recruit more likeable humans! 😅🤔 #LimitedSupply #CastingCall"
1 month ago
Share →: People who work in customer service should be allowed to fight one customer a day. Two on Fridays.

…

Commentary:
"Finally, a way to end the week with a *bang*! 🥊💥 Just imagine the 'Buy One, Get One Free' of stress relief! 🤣🙌 #FistOfTheWeek"
1 month ago
Share →: We’d all look younger if we just avoided young people.

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Commentary:
"Finally found the secret to eternal youth: dodge the TikTokers! 😄🕺👵 #ModernDaySorcery"
1 month ago
Share →: Me pulling into a full parking lot: Don’t these people have homes?

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Commentary:
"Oh great, the parking lot is hosting a reunion and my car wasn't invited! 🚗🙄🎉"
1 month ago
Share →: It’s a good thing Titanic is only a movie. A lot of people would’ve died.

Commentary:
"Good point! 😅 Otherwise, iceberg lettuce would have a whole new meaning❄️🥗 #HistoryWithPlotTwists"
1 month ago
Share →: I only look up to people that are taller than me and really that’s about the extent of it.

Commentary:
"Always reaching higher, both in humor and life! 😄⬆️ #ShortPeopleCanDreamToo"
1 month ago
Share →: People in their 20s be like, “This is my emotional support master’s degree.”

Commentary:
"Because sometimes student loans double as therapy bills! 🎓😂 #EmotionalSupportTuition"
1 month ago
Share →: I hate when people call my phone! I don’t use it for that.

Commentary:
"When my phone rings, I panic like it's a fire drill… aren't phones just for memes? 📞➡️🙅‍♂️😂"
1 month ago
Share →: A Southerner dies every time you people type “ya’ll” instead of “y’all,” btw.

Commentary:
"Just got my membership card to the Southern Grammar Committee—where 'ya’ll' is a crime against humanity! 😂📝 Bless y'all's hearts! 💔🙌"
1 month ago
Share →: Instead of those cute mini pizzas, they should invent gigantic ones that take four people to carry.

Commentary:
"When pizza becomes a team sport! 🍕💪😂 Where do I sign up for the 'Pizza Lifting Olympics'?!"