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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇺 has bookmarked:

I said “cool tattoo” to be nice not because I wanted to hear the 45 minute origin story.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has viewed:

Out of sheer boredom, I opened the front door and rang the doorbell. I was so happy.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has copied:

Mid-life crisis? No, no, mid-day crisis. Something happens every day.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has viewed:

Before you just FaceTime me randomly, please don’t.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has downloaded:

“I’m disgusted by how many of you still use Spotify. I use a fair trade, ethically conscientious mom-and-pop platform called Apple Music.”

Someone from 🇲🇲 has shared:

I can’t be bothered with people that can’t be bothered.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has bookmarked:

I want time to sit and read, take a nap and snack. Basically, I want to be in Kindergarten.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has viewed:

I’m not scared of love, I’m scared of insufficient cash.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has bookmarked:

Had some plain yogurt with protein powder in it for breakfast, and not only is it high in protein and very filling, it’s also disgusting.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has downloaded:

How do I get recruited by a cult? I need some direction in my life.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

522 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,115

Funny Quotes Topics

17,265

Funny Quotes Images

15,115

Updated

Dec 25, 2025

Users Online

3,683

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on WeChat:

No email needs to tell me not to reply.

Spotted on Twitch:

There aren’t any emojis that really express any meaningful sort of anguish.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

If you were the birthday gift I bought my daughter 3 months ago, where would you be hiding?

Shared recently on Reddit:

I keep my eyes in great shape by rolling them constantly.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Once you start paying rent, every joke stops being funny.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Instead of writing LOL, I’m going to start writing SALTS (smiled a little, then stopped). It’s more accurate.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Santa keeps a pair of mounted antlers over his fireplace to keep the reindeer from unionizing.

Going viral on Reddit:

ADHD is when you buy a blender and then make smoothies every day for 2 weeks, and then never make one or even acknowledge your blender ever again.

Just landed via Twitch:

My Native American name would be Smokes Cigarettes.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

You befriend a guy and a few days later he’s like “I wanna talk to you about something”. Please, God, let it be about the economy.

Home » Funny People Quotes » Page 5

1071 Funny people quotes

More funny people quotes 👇

People pleasing doesn’t go well with my black attire.

0

1 month ago

attire, attitude, black, black attire, fashion, humor, people, people pleasing, pleasing, well
I know so many people with cats, and only a tiny number of them went to a shelter and picked out a cat. Everyone else I know with a cat has a story that’s like, ‘Yeah, he just moved in.’

0

1 month ago

adoption, animal, animal behavior, behavior, cat, cats, else, everyone, funny observation, humor, i, just, know, moved, number, observation, only, people, pet, pet adoption, pet story, picked, shelter, story, tiny
Many people love saying, “Get these away from me,” after eating a few chips.

0

1 month ago

after, away, chip, chips, craving, eating, food, humor, love, me, people, reaction, saying, snack
Stay humble and play dumb. People reveal who they truly are when they think they are smarter than you.

0

1 month ago

behavior, dumb, humble, humor, intelligence, interaction, people, personality, play, play dumb, psychology, reveal, self-awareness, smarter, social, social interaction, stay, think, truly
Fact: Snow in November happens because people decorate for Christmas prematurely. You know who you are. Stop it.

0

1 month ago

Christmas, decorate, decoration, fact, holiday, humor, know, November, people, premature, snow, stop, weather
Shout out to the people getting $400 hotel rooms on Feb 14th to do the same two positions they do at home.

0

1 month ago

14th, couple, day, expensive, getting, home, hotel, hotel room, humor, people, position, positions, relationship, room, rooms, same, sex, sex position, shout, travel, valentine’s, Valentine’s Day
Before social media, you had to actively go out and find crazy people.

0

1 month ago

active, active search, before, crazy, crazy person, humor, impact, life, media, modern, modern life, observation, people, person, search, social, social media, technology, technology impact
Scooby Doo was a woke-ass show. Every villain was just a landlord trying to scare people off their property so they could sell it.

0

1 month ago

doo, every, just, landlord, people, property, scare, scooby, Scooby Doo, sell, show, trying, villain, woke
Family Guy is so insane because, why were people dating that dog?

0

1 month ago

animation, dating, dog, family, Family Guy, guy, humor, insane, people, show, TV, TV Show, why
Some people are living bowel movement to bowel movement.

0

1 month ago

bowel, bowel movement, daily, daily routine, humor, life, living, movement, people, routine

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Social Media Stars ⭐

49 shares on Slack this month:

For whom the Fetty Waps.

43 shares on Slack this month:

Doctor: Your body has run out of magnesium. Me: OMg.

77 shares on Threads this month:

Sorry I can’t help you move, my hands are in permanent air quotes.

30 shares on Pinterest this month:

When your name is Jenn, people think it’s short for Jennifer, but it’s really short for Jennatalia.

100 shares on Discord this month:

I hate when I finish a show and don’t know what to do with my life.

18 shares on Instagram this month:

I bet this email finds you silently screaming on the inside.

79 shares on Reddit this month:

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but if you talk on speakerphone in public, everyone around you hates you.

76 shares on WhatsApp this month:

In honor of the fall equinox, I will also be cold, distant and filled with darkness.

55 shares on Reddit this month:

Why are they called “grammar Nazis” and not “the Gestypo”?

73 shares on Messenger this month:

Fun fact: If Celine Dion sang only the vowels in her name, it would be the lyrics to Old McDonalds Farm.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇯 has shared:

Almost all of my bad decisions are food-related.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has shared:

Is it healthier to drink tap water and let the fluoride calcify my pineal gland or drink bottled spring water and let micro plastics settle in my balls?

Someone from 🇦🇹 has bookmarked:

Not to brag but I don’t need alcohol to do something stupid.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has viewed:

I was going to warn my kids about the repercussions of drugs and alcohol until I realized that they in fact were the repercussions of drugs and alcohol.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has viewed:

I don’t follow washing instructions, you’re my clothes you don’t tell me what to do.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has downloaded:

Called off work. Feeling fat and wearing jeans.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has shared:

Don’t hate me because I can fall asleep within seconds; hate me because I can sleep through the night without having to get up to go to the bathroom.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has shared:

I deserve a percentage of your pay if you ever stole any swag from me.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has copied:

Tears for Fears: Everybody wants to rule the world. Me: Some of us just want eight hours of uninterrupted sleep.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has shared:

I love diss tracks because it’s basically two dudes going, “grr, we hate each other so much we’re going to take turns writing increasingly personalized poetry!”

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on WeChat:

Men love when you ask them to explain something to you. It is considered a sign of deep respect in their culture.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

If Shakespeare were being born today, he’d be “Shaxxespyr.”

Shared recently on TikTok:

You know you’re mature when you go to the dentist and you are no longer afraid of pain, but of how much it costs.

Shared recently on X:

Just bought a new umbrella for the person that finds it tomorrow.

Going bananas on TikTok:

Why spend like $300 Dollars on a pair of shoes? Do you know how many chicken nuggets you can buy with that money?

Activity Log ✨

1071 Funny people quotes

More funny people quotes 👇

All funny people quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

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