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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇱 has shared:

Much of my algorithm is based on when I paused while scrolling to grab a snack.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has shared:

Hey there, Delilah, we know you broke that dude’s heart.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has shared:

Welcome to your 40’s. You now have a favorite vegetable peeler.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has shared:

A drone, but for seeing which fast food drive-thrus have the shortest line.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has downloaded:

Tweeting shouldn’t cost money but it should flip you on your back like a bug for 15 minutes.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has shared:

I’ll never tell anyone your secret because that would mean talking to people.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has viewed:

I wish my doctor would put down a little treat to distract me like my vet does for my dog.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has shared:

Why do I have to take care of this idiot (me) every single day? Can’t she do anything on her own?

Someone from 🇧🇳 has downloaded:

Being excited to get in bed really is a different level of adulting.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has copied:

Waiting until 4:59 p.m. on Fridays to send an email, because any response is Monday’s problem.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,523

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Telegram:

The plant app says that I either watered my plant too much or not enough. Very helpful. Thanks!

Just landed via Slack:

Uninstalling Instagram can increase your IQ by 10%.

Seen just now on Telegram:

They get real weird at the gun store if you walk in crying and asking for “the biggest one”.

Breaking via Slack:

Stay an extra hour in the office and no one cares. Arrive a few minutes late and everyone loses their minds.

Shared recently on WeChat:

The sole purpose of some household items is to make it impossible for you to open the damn drawer.

Going bananas on Instagram:

I feel like whoever named them rice cakes has never actually eaten a cake.

Spotted on Facebook:

The nice thing about wintertime is that it’s darker for longer, so you see a lot less people.

Seen just now on Discord:

Is ice cream for dinner a thing, because ice cream for dinner should be be a thing.

Just landed via Discord:

If you respond to emails and Teams messages quickly, you can get away with basically anything at work.

Making waves on Twitch:

My dentist said my teeth were stained and asked if I smoke or drink coffee? I said, “I drink it.”

27 Funny phones quotes

More funny phones quotes 👇

I set up my Nativity scene, but since baby Jesus hasn’t arrived yet, Mary, Joseph and all the Wise Men are just looking down at their phones.

2 months ago

baby, baby Jesus, Christmas, humor, i, Jesus, Joseph, just, life, looking, man, Mary, men, modern, modern life, Nativity, phones, scene, set, technology, waiting, wise, Wise Man
I love how all the movies about teenagers have to be set in the 90s or earlier otherwise we’d just be watching kids on their phones for two hours.

2 months ago

90s, culture, earlier, entertainment, hours, humor, i, just, kids, love, movy, nostalgia, phones, set, technology, teenager, watching, youth
First date idea: unlock and switch phones with the other person for exactly two minutes and if no one is horrified then the date continues.

2 months ago

activity, awkward, awkward moments, date, exactly, first date, fun, fun activity, humor, icebreaker, idea, minutes, moments, person, phones, relationship, surprise, switch
If you like pointing out beautiful scenery to three people who are on their phones, a family road trip is for you.

2 months ago

beautiful, beautiful scenery, family, humor, observation, people, phones, pointing, road, road trip, scenery, travel, trip, vacation
It’s a good thing that our phones only convey sight and sound. No offense, but from most of you I would never want to receive a smelfie!

3 months ago

good, humor, i, joke, media, never, offense, phone, phones, scent, sight, smelfie, social, social media, sound, thing, want
It’s a beautiful morning. Lots of people out walking their phones.

3 months ago

beautiful, humor, morning, observation, people, phone, phones, technology, walking
Gonna take the kids to the planetarium so they can watch YouTube on their phones.

3 months ago

activity, family, family outing, fun, fun activity, irony, kids, outing, phones, planetarium, take, technology, watch, YouTube

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All funny phones quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

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Social Media Stars ⭐

51 shares on WhatsApp this month:

So I just keep making dinner? Every night of my life? For forever?

46 shares on Slack this month:

These cannot be the same knees that used to get low in heels at the club.

46 shares on Pinterest this month:

I will charge a 25% tariff on my steely gaze.

89 shares on Slack this month:

Born to be quiet and mysterious, forced to yap whenever I get the chance.

87 shares on Snapchat this month:

Not to brag, but I’m on hold and my call is important to them.

91 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Maybe dogs are smarter than us because they found a way to get fed and housed without having to go to college and get a job.

45 shares on Telegram this month:

I love chatty cats like, yeah, bro, meow meow, you’re so right.

79 shares on Slack this month:

For introverts, the worst kind of head-on collision is running directly into the person we’re avoiding at the grocery store.

62 shares on Telegram this month:

I respect perfume commercials being like we can’t show you a smell mind if we just go insane for 30 seconds.

44 shares on Twitch this month:

If my TV’s so smart then why doesn’t it slap me when I turn on the news?

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇲 has bookmarked:

I just want to be rich enough to stop having to pretend that I’m getting work done.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has bookmarked:

If you break up with the same person enough times, you eventually get married. Never give up.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has copied:

Has anyone ever considered that Dr. Pepper could be a gynecologist?

Someone from 🇬🇦 has viewed:

You have to be careful about sending your spouse things on social media. You send too many things, next thing you know chores are being redistributed because of “all the free time you clearly have”.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has viewed:

When old people say, “Long as you happy,” that means you’re pretty dumb.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has copied:

Аbsolutely crazy to thіnk that Leonardo DіCaprіo’s future gіrlfrіend іs currently nervous for her fіrst day of kіndergarten.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has downloaded:

I hope you can hear me thinking about you.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has downloaded:

Do you guys remember when we had to share one desktop computer wіth the whole famіly?

Someone from 🇧🇭 has bookmarked:

“There are lots of benefits to working here. We have fun social events and activities after work!” And what are the benefits?

Someone from 🇸🇮 has bookmarked:

If history repeats itself, I’m getting a pet dinosaur.

Social Media Log 💫

Activity Log ✨

27 Funny phones quotes

More funny phones quotes 👇

All funny phones quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

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