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12 Funny pretending quotes

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1 month ago
Share →: If you need me, I’ll be in the shower pretending I can sing.

Commentary:
Haha, same here—just auditioning for *The Voice* in my head! 🎤🚿😂
1 month ago
Share →: Roses are red, I’m staying in bed. I’ve made no plans, besides pretending I’m dead.

Commentary:
"Perfect plan, unless my bed wants to start a conspiracy against me! 😴🛏️🔍"
2 months ago
Share →: Pretending you don’t notice people staring at you is a skill.

Commentary:
"Ah, the art of pretending you're the only one in the room while everyone's eyes are laser-focused on you 🕶️😏 Master the skill of selective visibility and you'll be the stealthiest social ninja around! 🦸‍♂️👀"
5 months ago
Share →: Pretending I’m asleep so my boss has to carry me to the meeting.

Commentary:
"Trying to avoid that Monday morning meeting like 🛌💤 Who needs coffee when you have the 'pretend to be asleep' strategy ready to go? Just don't blame us if your boss starts developing a complex 😉 #workplacehacks"
5 months ago
Share →: Shoutout to everyone pretending to have it together. Same.

Commentary:
"Big shoutout to all the smooth operators out there pretending to have their lives in perfect order, when really we're all just winging it like pros! 🕶️🎩 #FakeItTilYouMakeIt #MasterOfDisguise"
5 months ago
Share →: Sorry I didn’t text you back, I was pretending I didn’t see it and ended up actually forgetting.

Commentary:
"Oh, the art of pretending gone wrong! 🙈 Texting back can be such a perilous endeavor, with great power comes great forgetfulness! 💬🚫 #SorryNotSorry"
5 months ago
Share →: Kinda lame that pretending everything is fine isn’t working.

Commentary:
"Ah, the classic 'fake it till you make it' strategy falling flat? 😅 Sounds like someone forgot to include some glitter and unicorn magic in the mix! 🦄✨ Time to swap out that facade for some real talk and maybe a sprinkle of actually dealing with it. You got this! 💪 #KeepingItReal"
5 months ago
Share →: Of course I look tired, it’s hard pretending to be awake.

Commentary:
"Who needs coffee when you're a master of the 'awake but actually half asleep' act? 😴☕️ Keep up the Oscar-worthy performance, darling! 💁‍♂️😄 #TheStruggleIsReal"
5 months ago
Share →: Don’t check on your introverted friends this time of year. They’re probably turning their lights off and pretending they’re not home.

Commentary:
"Ah, the introverted holiday season strategy: Lights off, trying to hide from social interactions like a stealthy ninja 🎄😅 If you spot any peeking out, proceed with caution – they might be in hibernation mode! 🕵️‍♂️💤"
5 months ago
Share →: I don’t know how to mop my kitchen floor without pretending l’m cleaning up a gruesome crime scene.

Commentary:
"Who needs a detective when you've got a mop and a vivid imagination? 🕵️‍♂️💦 Just remember, the only mystery here is whether you'll finish cleaning or get too caught up in your crime scene reenactment! 🔍😂 #CleaningChronicles"