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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇼 has bookmarked:

Offering friendship as a consolation prize for a failed romantic connection attempt is absolutely cruel.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has bookmarked:

Why am I scrolling? What am I searching for?

Someone from 🇲🇺 has downloaded:

An orgy where everyone looks identical is called a doppelgängerbänger.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has downloaded:

If I ever experience an earthquake, my first thought will probably be it’s Godzilla.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has bookmarked:

I always have a bad connection in my head when someone tries to explain a card or board game to me.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has shared:

Good morning. Does anyone know what is right and what is wrong?

Someone from 🇧🇫 has copied:

If you’re feeling a little uneasy about the state of global geopolitics, remember to spend as much time on your phone as possible. The more information you ingest as you scroll, the calmer you will become.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has viewed:

Listen up. If he hooks his sunglasses in the front collar of his shirt, he’s got something important to say.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has downloaded:

Can you turn your swag off for one second and listen?

Someone from 🇩🇴 has downloaded:

You realize you’re getting old when your body parts start fighting over which one hurts first.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,377

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Threads:

All pants are tear away pants if you’re strong enough.

Just shared via Facebook:

I be outside telling people I don’t got social media when they ask.

Freshly posted on X:

You can really tell somebody’s mental state by they hair.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Why do parents bust in your room like they trying to catch you cheating on them with another pair of parents or something?

Trending via Telegram:

I think it’s time when we buy new clothes that we have the option to buy the body they’re being modelled in too.

Seen just now on Slack:

I’m awake and working. Please respect my privacy during these trying and emotional times.

Just shared via Twitch:

By the power vested in me by Facebook, I now pronounce you unfriended and restricted. You may now kiss my butt.

Just shared via Discord:

The best part about being single is sleeping around. You can sleep all over that bed of yours – left, right, middle.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

Save tons of money on a weighted blanket by sleeping under the mattress.

Going bananas on Reddit:

Therapy isn’t enough. I need to be electrocuted and get my memory erased.

30 Funny pretending quotes

Funny pretending quotes bring out the playful side of faking it with a wink and a smile 😜✨ Whether you’re pretending to be serious at work or just goofing around with friends, these witty gems capture the art of acting like you’ve got it all together 🎭😂 Get ready to laugh at the hilarious moments when pretending becomes an everyday adventure! 🎉🤪

New funny pretending quotes 👇

For even more funny pretending quotes, hit next 👇

All funny pretending quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

64 shares on WeChat this month:

My milkshakes bring all the bots to the yard.

76 shares on Slack this month:

So sad. Elvis died before he could see the Lego movie. He woulda been like, ‘Mama, those blocks are movin’ and shakin.’

28 shares on WhatsApp this month:

The nerve of a majority of people I meet being younger than me. How dare them?

46 shares on YouTube this month:

When you drink red wine from a cup, it looks like fruit tea and you are also admired by others for your healthy lifestyle.

32 shares on Messenger this month:

If you need time alone, just announce that you need help cleaning the cats litter box.

95 shares on Discord this month:

There’s poetry in walking away without closing the door too loud.

77 shares on Threads this month:

Women know the exact weight of their children and their age in days. Men just know that little people live with them.

10 shares on Slack this month:

I had an irrational fear of bees until I saw My Girl and it became rational.

75 shares on Pinterest this month:

Lou Read is the name of my favorite musician and also the book I keep in the toilet.

47 shares on Messenger this month:

Two bros having a conversation in the 1700s like “omg, we should totally start a pamphlet”

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Nicole Kidman being in a film called Babygirl is actually perfect cause it’s like another version of her last name.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Every morning I announce that Im going for a jog, but then I don’t go. It’s a running gag.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t want to adult today, I just want to dog. I’ll be lying down on the floor in the sun, you can pet me and bring me some snacks.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s time I admit something: Sometimes, when I say good night, I don’t actually go to bed right away.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Phone so dry, I caught myself checking the weather.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Nobody is doing it like me because this is probably not the right way to do it.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Roses are red. I’m going to bed.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

A friend’s boyfriend is not my friend… that is a coworker, at best.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s always a huge relief when I’m reading a list of symptoms of a deadly disease, and it says unexplained weight loss.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

A man rejecting my advances can’t hurt me. I have a dog who leaves the bed every time I climb in.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,496

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇨 has bookmarked:

Hot singles over 40 in your area are curious what you use for joint pain and inflammation.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has bookmarked:

Cool times create cool guys.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has bookmarked:

My showers take so long because I always hold a shower concert.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has downloaded:

People who work in customer service should be allowed to fight one customer a day. Two on Fridays.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has shared:

69% of people find something dirty in every sentence.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has shared:

Eating watermelon and minding my own business.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has viewed:

Social media has dragged humans back into Plato’s cave, and chained them there.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has shared:

This going into the office stuff blows. Like, I seriously have to wear clothes now.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has copied:

Therapy is life letting you speak to the manager.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has downloaded:

I’m just trying to have a nice time despite knowing facts and information.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Snapchat:

Caveman: I just invented the wheel. Journalist: Here’s why the wheel is bad for humanity.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Fall fashion: where we all transform into stylish, toasty marshmallows!

Going viral on Facebook:

All I care about is being financially stable and getting sexier.

Just landed via Reddit:

At my age, a trail of clothes leading to the bedroom, means I dropped them on the way from the dryer.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Tried online dating, and it turns out my soulmate is a Nigerian prince who needs my bank details to escape his kingdom.

Freshly posted on X:

Life is just a series of Sopranos references with some other things mixed in.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

The good old days, when you didn’t have to charge your watch and it didn’t constantly remind you how fat you were.

Making waves on WeChat:

When I quit my job I’m setting one last OOO message that just says “your email will never find me again”

Making waves on X:

I respect perfume commercials being like we can’t show you a smell mind if we just go insane for 30 seconds.

Spotted on Messenger:

“I’m interested in the divorce rate for couples who sleep in queen versus king beds.”

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