Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇷 has viewed:

You can’t have everything… where would you put it?”

Someone from 🇭🇹 has bookmarked:

The older I get, the earlier it gets late.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has bookmarked:

In a packed elevator, everyone is silent. Stomach: I will now demonstrate the mating call of a whale.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has bookmarked:

Twitter is fun because you can tweet about hashbrowns and someone will say you are responsible for genocide.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has bookmarked:

I eat my first meal of the day in the afternoon, bro. Don’t ask me for advice.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has copied:

I appreciate the interest, but I’m officially removing myself from the running to be the next James Bond. Thank you for your understanding.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has bookmarked:

I’m multitasking: I can listen, ignore and forget at the same time.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has copied:

Cynics are – beneath it all – only idealists with awkwardly high standards.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has bookmarked:

Men be like, “You’ve been different ever since I disrespected you.”

Someone from 🇿🇦 has copied:

I love when my brain cells kiss and I have an idea.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,730

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Got electrocuted while fixing the doorbell, and now I can hear my girlfriend’s thoughts. She’s thinking she should have called an electrician.

Trending via Twitch:

Who needs an alarm clock when you have a bladder.

Making waves on Reddit:

Trying to squeeze in more nothingness today, but my schedule is already packed with procrastination!

Making waves on X:

I like how people say “travel safely” like I’m the one flying the plane.

Going bananas on Snapchat:

When I look at the world, I realize why Noah only took animals with him.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

I wonder how long you could drive in a roundabout before a cop would be like, hey, you can’t do that anymore.

Spotted on Slack:

I am “We read the newspaper front to back every single day,” years old.

Trending via Telegram:

Do not EVER text while driving. Please use the giant iPad attached to your dashboard.

Just shared via YouTube:

Babymaking music but it’s the Benny Hill theme song.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

I’m looking for a moisturizer to hide the fact that I’ve been tired since 2010.

24 Funny pull quotes

More funny pull quotes 👇

I have a complicated relationship with push/pull doors.

2 months ago

awkward, awkward moment, complicated, confusion, door, doors, everyday, everyday life, humor, i, irony, life, moment, pull, pull door, push, push door, relationship
This can’t be the same body that used to be able to pull all nighters.

2 months ago

able, age, all nighter, body, change, exhaustion, humor, nighter, pull, same, sleep, used
Imagine hating me and I’m just here trying to push a door that says pull.

2 months ago

door, hate, here, humor, imagine, irony, just, me, misunderstanding, pull, push, struggle, trying
Dude, we’re biting off more than we can chew tonight if you want to pull up.

2 months ago

activity, biting, chew, dude, fun, night, pull, tonight, want
Dude, we’re gonna be treating others how we want to be treated later if you wanna pull up.

2 months ago

dude, later, others, pull, treat, treated, want
It’s so cold outside I saw a gangster pull his pants up and walk stiffly.

2 months ago

cold, gangster, humor, i, outside, pants, pull, saw, stiff, walk, winter
Hate it when I pull out a winter coat and there’s no money stashed in it.

2 months ago

coat, disappointment, hate, humor, i, money, pull, stash, surprise, winter
Two words have helped me open a lot of doors in my life. Push and Pull.

2 months ago

advice, doors, humor, life, life advice, lot, me, motivation, open, pull, push, wordplay, words
Women don’t pretend anymore to dig for something in their purse and then pull out their middle finger.

2 months ago

expression, finger, gesture, honesty, humor, middle, middle finger, pretend, pull, purse, something, women
I don’t always push on pull doors but when I do, I do it two or three times to confirm how dumb I really am.

2 months ago

always, am, confirm, confirmation, door, doors, dumb, humor, i, pull, push, self-deprecation, three, times

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All funny pull quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

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Social Media Stars ⭐

93 shares on Slack this month:

Have you ever met someone and thought that you couldn’t wait to spend the rest of your life without them?

54 shares on Snapchat this month:

I see posts like, “If food is too expensive, just grow your own.” Okay, Einstein, why didn’t I think of that?

32 shares on Twitch this month:

Sometimes I don’t have anything intelligent to say and sometimes I don’t let that stop me.

90 shares on Messenger this month:

Work from home ain’t for everyone. I, for one, hate when my coworkers try to message when I’m shopping.

78 shares on YouTube this month:

I don’t understand how spending more money than I earn is irresponsible. I’m giving more than I take. I’m generous.

74 shares on TikTok this month:

A single garbageman contributes more to society before lunch than every crypto trader and op-ed writer combined does in their lifetime.

32 shares on X this month:

Don’t worry. There is still hope for the summer: the rain should get warmer soon.

58 shares on Twitch this month:

My boyfriend just said “I encourage you to try all things” to our cat who was licking up Buffalo sauce.

99 shares on WeChat this month:

A new year resolution is something that goes in one year and out the other.

33 shares on Twitch this month:

You know you’re getting old when you and the grocery store have the same playlist.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇼 has bookmarked:

It’s that time of year where every jacket you choose is wrong.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has shared:

Sorry, I can’t today. I have to sit in my room and make matters worse.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has copied:

When you first meet a man, that fake version of him be so fire.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has copied:

The morning routine that takes the longest: finding the will to live.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has shared:

No matter how old you are, an empty Christmas wrapping tube is still a fun thing to bonk someone over the head with.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has shared:

My playlist is so random, I be heartbroken, thugged out, and yeehaw all at the same time.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has bookmarked:

Deja poo is when you feel like you’ve heard the same shit before.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has bookmarked:

Good morning to everyone except those who need approval from strangers on the internet.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has copied:

Switching between brainrot and deep intellectual talks is a skill that only a few acquire.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has shared:

“I’ve had cigarettes that were better than entire years of my life.”

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Snapchat:

I forgot to take my meds so I’m looking forward to joining the squirrels in the tree to talk politics.

Live now on WhatsApp:

My family asked me what I wanted for Mother’s Day, so I packed their bags and changed the locks.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

Was in a bookshop and asked a worker if he could recommend books to me. He said, ‘Sure, they’re great.’

Trending via TikTok:

I exaggerated on my job application and said I wanted to work for a living.

Seen just now on WeChat:

They are mad because you took that knife out of your back and used it to cut ties.

Trending via YouTube:

If you want to hang out with me, all you have to do is ask, and I’ll say no.

Seen just now on Reddit:

I run every day for 30 minutes. If I miss a day, I add 30 minutes to the next day. This has truly been a game changer. Tomorrow I’m supposed to run for 3 weeks.

Just landed via Slack:

Can someone come over and take this phone away from me?

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

If the only person you’re competing with is yourself, how could you lose?

Seen just now on Instagram:

Anyone who doesn’t like me snoring, doesn’t deserve me moaning either.

Activity Log ✨

24 Funny pull quotes

More funny pull quotes 👇

All funny pull quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

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Activity Log ✨