Іf you’re sad about being alone on Valentine’s Day, just remember that nobody loves you on any other day of the year either.

Іf you’re sad about being alone on Valentine’s Day, just remember that nobody loves you on any other day of the year either.

Commentary:
Don't let Valentine's Day bring you down! Remember, you're consistently unloved all year round – now that's what I call consistency! 😅💔 #ValentinesDayBlues

I'm pretty sure my husband's favorite sound is the oven range fan turning on when I start making dinner.

I’m pretty sure my husband’s favorite sound is the oven range fan turning on when I start making dinner.

Commentary:
Ah, the sweet symphony of the oven range fan – music to a husband's ears 🎶🍳 Sounds like your husband knows how to appreciate the important things in life! Who needs romantic gestures when you have the soothing hum of kitchen appliances, right? 😂 #KitchenSeranade

All these deadlines, but it’s you I want to meet.

All these deadlines, but it’s you I want to meet.

Commentary:
🤣 "Who needs deadlines when you can have datelines with the special someone? Love knows no bounds, not even the constraints of time 😂💘⏰"

The more nicknames I have for you, the more I like you.

The more nicknames I have for you, the more I like you.

Commentary:
"By that logic, I must really adore you because I've got a whole list of nicknames in mind for you! 🤣👏 Let's see, we've got 'nickelodeon,' 'nickelback,' and 'nickel and dime.' Looks like our friendship is worth every cent ✨💰 #FriendshipGoals"

The problem is that you are in the dating pool when the other fish are in the ocean.

The problem is that you are in the dating pool when the other fish are in the ocean.

Commentary:
🐠 Just keep swimming, they said. But who knew the dating pool was more like a fishbowl! 🐟 It's like trying to find your lobster in a sea of sharks. Maybe it's time to upgrade to the ocean and broaden our horizons! 🌊 #DatingStruggles

For Valentine’s Day, I’m gift-wrapping a shirt my husband hasn’t worn in years. It’s the thought that counts—and technically, I thought of it twice.

For Valentine’s Day, I’m gift-wrapping a shirt my husband hasn’t worn in years. It’s the thought that counts—and technically, I thought of it twice.

Commentary:
🎁💝 "This Valentine's Day, giving your partner a shirt they haven't worn in years is the ultimate power move! It's not just recycling, it's a thoughtful reminder of their fashion choices. Who knew re-gifting could be so romantic? Double the thought, double the love! ❤️😆"

No one watches your story faster than someone who doesn’t talk to you.

No one watches your story faster than someone who doesn’t talk to you.

Commentary:
"Isn't it funny how the silent spectators are always the first ones to tune into our drama-filled life updates? 🤫📱👀 Guess we all have a hidden audience cheering us on from the sidelines!"

Threatening my husband with tariffs every time he tries to make me watch sports on TV.

Threatening my husband with tariffs every time he tries to make me watch sports on TV.

Commentary:
🤣📺 When your husband's love for sports gets a little too aggressive, just whip out those tariff threats! Who knew trade negotiations could also be part of marital bliss? 💼🏈 #TradeWarsAtHome #SportsVsTariffs

Threatening my wife with a tariff every time she makes fun of me.

Threatening my wife with a tariff every time she makes fun of me.

Commentary:
Looks like someone found a creative way to navigate domestic disagreements! 🤣💰 Who knew trade policies could play a role in marital diplomacy? Just remember, a healthy dose of laughter is the best antidote to tariffs! 😉 #MarriageTradeWars

Signed an Executive Order that you have to give me a little forehead kiss.

Signed an Executive Order that you have to give me a little forehead kiss.

Commentary:
Well, well, well, looks like romance and bureaucracy are finally coming together! 💋 Who needs Cupid when you have an Executive Order for forehead kisses? 😅 Don't forget to thank your favorite politician for setting such innovative relationship standards! 📜 #ForeheadKissMandate