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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇹 has viewed:

Retiring my wallet condom after two years of active duty. 87 tours with 0 combat deployments.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has bookmarked:

Might quit my job to focus on actually putting away my laundry.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has copied:

The fine art of sticking my nose where it doesn’t belong.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has viewed:

I just read a thing that said I should compliment myself on my decisions, regardless of the outcome. No thanks, I’m not the government.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has viewed:

Turns out I’m not an afternoon person either.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has bookmarked:

All income is disposable if you’re brave enough.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has downloaded:

People have ex girlfriends, I have ex crushes.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has viewed:

I hurt my bottom after shaking it at the office party. It was a twerk-place injury.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has downloaded:

So tired of looking in my wallet and not finding $10,000

Someone from 🇪🇷 has copied:

Work meetings would be a lot more fun if they took place in a giant IKEA ball pit.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,349

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Snapchat:

Sorry for being weird. It’s just that everything I talk about reminds me of every other thing I wanna talk about, so I try to talk about everything at the same time and explode.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

Ever since I was a little kid I always knew I wanted to struggle to survive.

Just shared via WeChat:

I think humans are meant to lay in bed with the love of their life all winter.

Shared recently on Reddit:

How old were you when you found out people in porn aren’t actually in love?

Seen just now on Discord:

I’ve disappointed better people.

Spotted on Snapchat:

I need someone to convince me into or out of buying a jetski. I can’t keep living in this purgatory.

Trending via Reddit:

You can’t hurt me. You’re not how I look first thing in the morning.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

No one has ever believed in me more than this waitress, who brought me buffalo wings and a single wet nap.

Going viral on Facebook:

Why do Marvel movies need 3 hours to accomplish what The Powerpuff Girls did in 11 minutes?

Just landed via Messenger:

I hope this email finds you at relative peace with the paradox of existence.

329 Funny relaxation quotes

More funny relaxation quotes 👇

My favorite thing to do is nothing, with no one.

3 weeks ago

alone, alone time, favorite, favorite thing, introvert, leisure, nothing, relaxation, solitude, thing, time
The best plans on a Friday night are no plans.

3 weeks ago

best, downtime, Friday, Friday night, introvert, leisure, night, plan, plans, relaxation, weekend
Getting your hair washed by someone else is one of life’s greatest joys no one really speaks about often.

3 weeks ago

care, else, getting, hair, hair salon, hair wash, joy, personal, personal care, pleasure, relaxation, salon, self-care, simple, simple pleasure, someone, wash
Never underestimate the healing power of not watching the news.

3 weeks ago

healing, healing power, health, humor, mental, mental health, never, news, power, relaxation, self-care, underestimate, watching
My hobbies include going home, wishing I was at home, and being at home.

3 weeks ago

being, comfort, going, hobby, home, humor, i, relaxation, wish, wishing
Want to come over and lay around naked, eating grapes like we’re in a Renaissance painting.

3 weeks ago

around, date, eating, grape, humor, lay, lounging, naked, over, painting, relaxation, renaissance, Renaissance painting, want
A girl, her bed, and TV series on a Friday evening is a true love story.

3 weeks ago

bed, cozy, cozy night, entertainment, evening, Friday, Friday evening, girl, love, love story, night, relaxation, series, sery, story, true, TV, TV sery
Thought I would mix things up today and sit in a new spot on my couch. Absolute chaos over here.

3 weeks ago

change, chaos, couch, here, home, humor, i, mix, new, over, relaxation, sit, sitting, sitting spot, spot, things, thought, today
Is it socially acceptable to wear pajamas all day if you’re constantly holding a coffee cup?

3 weeks ago

acceptable, casual, casual wear, coffee, coffee cup, comfort, cup, daily, daily routine, day, holding, humor, norm, pajama, pajamas, relaxation, routine, social, social norm, socially, wear
My toxic trait is thinking I deserve a vacation… while still on vacation.

3 weeks ago

deserve, humor, i, irony, relaxation, self-awareness, still, thinking, toxic, toxic trait, trait, travel, vacation, while

For even more funny relaxation quotes, hit next 👇

All funny relaxation quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

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Social Media Stars ⭐

91 shares on Slack this month:

Buying books and reading them are actually two entirely different hobbies.

32 shares on TikTok this month:

Having someone sing you to sleep is so comforting, until you realize you are the only one in the room.

25 shares on WhatsApp this month:

You’re never alone. There’s mold.

54 shares on WhatsApp this month:

If at first you don’t succeed, that’s so embarrassing. Why are you so bad at this?

60 shares on X this month:

Can’t, trying to piece together today’s news from social media posts.

18 shares on Facebook this month:

Having leftover pizza for breakfast is an actual blessing.

88 shares on Discord this month:

If alcohol damages your short-term memory, imagine what alcohol can do.

59 shares on Twitch this month:

Shout out to everyone who cooks at 180°C for 20 minutes, no matter what the instructions say.

83 shares on WeChat this month:

Being single past 30 is like playing hide and seek, except no one is looking for you.

56 shares on Pinterest this month:

When you’re a child, you want to be a teenager. When you’re a teenager, you want to be an adult. When you’re an adult, you want to be a cat.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇨 has viewed:

British people be like “I was born in E-sex, grew up in Woke Ham, moved to Man Chest Hair, went to uni in Rotten Stall.”

Someone from 🇩🇿 has copied:

I’m at the age where using the wrong pillow makes you feel like you broke your neck.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has bookmarked:

After a month away and enough pasta to scare an Italian grandma, I can confirm: too much Parmesan? Never heard of her.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has shared:

I’ve touched enough cacti to know they are sharp, but also not enough to stop touching cacti.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has viewed:

My husband loves when we fight, and I turn it into a limited series called And Another Thing.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has downloaded:

Trying to squeeze in more nothingness today, but my schedule is already packed with procrastination!

Someone from 🇳🇷 has copied:

Whenever I’m with real yappers, I realize I might actually be a listener.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has copied:

People don’t get slapped enough with empty gloves these days.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has viewed:

Gwyneth Paltrow, I received the message you sent me last night in my dream and will proceed with the plan.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has bookmarked:

If a woman says “Do what you want!”, then for God’s sake don’t do what you want!

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Threads:

If I was Snow White, you wouldn’t get me with an apple. You’d have to poison a taco or something.

Spotted on Messenger:

I can’t explain how it works, but one day, you just wake up and like sauerkraut.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

I am absolutely delicious, and I hate how mosquitoes know it.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Hopefully it won’t be as bad as it already is.

Just shared via Reddit:

Stop asking a clown why he keeps acting like a clown, ask yourself why you keep going to the circus.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Why are they called “grammar Nazis” and not “the Gestypo”?

Trending via Slack:

If caterpillars are able to sleep for a long time and come out prettier, why cant I?

Broadcasted on Slack:

I need a chiropractor for my brain.

Seen just now on Messenger:

I eat posts like yours for breakfast.

Shared recently on Instagram:

My workout is reading in bed until my arms hurt.

Activity Log ✨

329 Funny relaxation quotes

More funny relaxation quotes 👇

All funny relaxation quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨