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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇭 has bookmarked:

A dyslexic man walks into a bra.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has shared:

Bruce Lee had a faster older brother named Sudden Lee.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has downloaded:

A little mischievousness is good for the soul.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has shared:

What substance do I have to abuse to stop yearning?

Someone from 🇦🇩 has copied:

If you ask him what he admires most about a woman and he says brains, you’ve got yourself a zombie.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has shared:

There’s a special place in hell for people like you (next to me).

Someone from 🇸🇩 has copied:

People out there having five-year plans, and here I am waking up just hoping I remember what day it is.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has bookmarked:

Arguing through text will have you standing in one spot for 40 mins.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has shared:

In case no one told you today. I’m beautiful.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has downloaded:

My favorite part about summer is when I get to go back inside where it’s air conditioned.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,719

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Messenger:

None of this is happening. It’s all in your phone.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Why is smoking the only addiction jobs give you breaks to do? I should get 15 minutes every hour to cook up some parlays.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Told my homie I was “going through it” and he just said “go around it”.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Me, at the intervention: “Ah look, all the reasons I drink gathered in one place.”

Spotted on Facebook:

Money talks, but all mine ever says is goodbye.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

My neighbors were up shouting all night. I could barely hear my bagpipes.

Making waves on Messenger:

I miss getting my misinformation from less places.

Live now on X:

Insulting me won’t work. I already said that to myself earlier.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

What you call “Brunch” I call “Breakfast for Alcoholics.”

329 Funny relaxation quotes

More funny relaxation quotes 👇

Doctor said I am terminally chill.

3 weeks ago

am, chill, doctor, humor, i, joke, medical, medical joke, relaxation, said, terminal
How late is too late to still be lying in bed, naked, drinking coffee?

3 weeks ago

bed, coffee, drinking, humor, late, lying, morning, naked, relaxation, still, too
Reading a book is nice, but reading a book in the middle of the night when everyone is asleep is even better, it’s therapeutic.

3 weeks ago

asleep, better, book, even, everyone, middle, nice, night, peaceful, quiet, reading, relaxation, sleep, solitude, therapy
People who think naps are a waste of time obviously don’t understand how naps work.

3 weeks ago

humor, joke, misunderstanding, nap, naps, people, productivity, relaxation, rest, sleep, think, time, understand, waste, work
wearing no bra and oversized clothes is self-care at its finest

3 weeks ago

bra, clothes, comfort, fashion, humor, no bra, oversized, oversized clothes, relaxation, self-care
Yeah, sex is cool, but have you ever taken an afternoon nap on the couch?

3 weeks ago

afternoon, afternoon nap, cool, couch, ever, humor, nap, relaxation, sex, taken
Let’s get married and have kids, so instead of relaxing during weeknights, we can go to seven practices and relearn algebra.

3 weeks ago

algebra, family, family life, humor, kid, kids, life, marriage, married, parenting, practice, relaxation, relaxing, weeknight
I need a vacation, but the kind where everyone else leaves, and I have my house to myself for a few days.

3 weeks ago

alone, days, else, everyone, getaway, house, humor, i, kind, myself, need, relaxation, solitude, vacation, where
I want to sit and read, take a nap, and snack. Basically, I want to be in kindergarten.

3 weeks ago

childhood, humor, i, kindergarten, leisure, nap, read, reading, relaxation, sit, snack, take, want
You relax for 15 minutes after work, and next thing you know, it’s 10 p.m.

3 weeks ago

after, evening, humor, know, management, minutes, next, procrastination, relax, relaxation, thing, time, time management, tiredness, work

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All funny relaxation quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

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Social Media Stars ⭐

73 shares on Discord this month:

British people be like “It’s Chewsday, innit?”

54 shares on X this month:

They say money talks, but mine just waves goodbye.

31 shares on Discord this month:

I’m only drinking a lot of beer tonight because I need the room in the fridge.

26 shares on WeChat this month:

If someone asks you: ‘Why are you single, don’t you like people?’, answer: ‘Why aren’t you a millionaire, don’t you like money?’

42 shares on Reddit this month:

Sometimes I wish I was a millennial, so I could talk about sex with my friends.

76 shares on Threads this month:

Descibe your boobs only using a picture of them.

23 shares on Pinterest this month:

Your card declining when you know you have money is a very funny experience.

81 shares on Messenger this month:

How was the word “Wife” invented? They took the first two and last two letters of wildlife.

32 shares on Snapchat this month:

Babe, are you okay? You’ve barely touched the argument I baited you with.

29 shares on Discord this month:

Demi Lovato is short for demilitarized love potato.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇴 has downloaded:

It’s freaking me out to think of how bad I’d look at the Met Gala.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has viewed:

These cannot be the same knees that used to get low in heels at the club.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has shared:

A mustache is just mouth bangs.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has copied:

More dangerous than a lion that roars is a woman gone silent.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has copied:

Even if there’s a murderer behind me, finish chewing before you tell me.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has copied:

The same mosquito kept biting me last night. It probably thought it was at a wine tasting.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has downloaded:

If you lift the cat off the couch and it sounds like Velcro, then it didn’t want to leave.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has downloaded:

In my defense, they burned my grilled cheese sandwich.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has downloaded:

Confuse a restaurant manager today by telling her how good the service was.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has shared:

Other people: You should get out of your comfort zone. Me: You should get out of my comfort zone.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on X:

I can’t wait to retire so I can get up at 6 a.m. and go drive around really slow and make everybody late for work.

Just landed via Discord:

I always cook with wine. Sometimes I even add it to the food.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

To the guy who invented zero, thanks for nothing.

Spotted on Snapchat:

I’m at the age where I see a huge, beautiful mansion in a movie and think, “How much does it cost to heat that house in the winter?”

Freshly posted on Messenger:

It’s just a matter of time until they add “syndrome” after my name.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Bad news. Right now is as young as you’re going to be.

Going bananas on YouTube:

The best way for me to stick to my diet is to go straight back to sleep after breakfast.

Seen just now on Slack:

I’d change my name to laundry if it meant you’d think about doing me every day.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

In my 20’s: I want to find true love. In my 40’s: I just want a toaster that gets me.

Going bananas on Reddit:

You were there at the beginning of the Internet if you’ve heard the following: “Get off the web, I need to make a call!”

Activity Log ✨

329 Funny relaxation quotes

More funny relaxation quotes 👇

All funny relaxation quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨