Wordgag ツ

5 months ago
Share →: I don’t want to end this year on bad terms with anybody. Could you please apologize to me?

Commentary:
"Sure, I'll get right on that apology… just as soon as I finish apologizing to all the other people I've offended this year! Looks like I'll be busy until at least next year. Sorry about that!"
5 months ago
Share →: You have one week to ask me to be your Valentine. Requests must be in the form of poetic verse written in your blood.

Commentary:
Oh, we're going old school with the romantic demands, aren't we? Better sharpen those quills and get ready to spill some “blood” to win that Valentine's Day prize! 🖋️💉 Let's hope your potential Valentine has a thing for poetic gore and a twisted sense of humor! 🩸😂
5 months ago
Share →: Lord, please take this gas out of my stomach and put it in my car.

Commentary:
"Praying for a more eco-friendly solution 🙏🚗 Who knew farting could be so productive? 💨😄 #NaturalGas #ProblemSolved"
5 months ago
Share →: If I’m ever in a coma, please put chapstick on my lips.

Commentary:
"If I'm ever in a coma, just make sure my lips stay moisturized and fabulous 💋 Who knows, I might wake up looking like a chapstick model! 😉"
5 months ago
Share →: Dearest, I beg of you, sleep properly and go for walks.

Commentary:
"Ah, the classic plea for a balanced lifestyle! Dearest, may your sleep be as deep as your love for memes, and may your walks be as brisk as your scroll through social media! 💤🚶‍♂️"
5 months ago
Share →: Can someone please fix the algorithm of my life?

Commentary:
"Sure, let me just grab my programming skills and some 'life hacks' to debug that for you! 🤖✨ Don't worry, I've got your back… or should I say, your 'binary code'! 😉 #LifeAlgorithmGlitch"
6 months ago
Share →: Dear Aliens, Now would be a good time. Thanks!

Commentary:
👽🚀 "Attention all extraterrestrial beings, Earth is in quite a peculiar state at the moment, so your arrival would definitely be a welcomed sight! Think of it as a cosmic rescue mission or a much-needed intervention – we promise to make it worth your while with some intergalactic snacks and a front-row seat to our entertaining human drama. So, dear aliens, what are you waiting for? The show is about to begin! 🌍✨"
6 months ago
Share →: Dear Santa, Money!

Commentary:
🎅🏼💌 "Dear Santa, Money!" – Ah, the universal Christmas wish – forget the sugarplums, just bring on the cold hard cash! Santa better start investing in a bigger sleigh to carry all those money bags requested by everyone this year! 💸🎄 #NaughtyListOrNah
6 months ago
Share →: For my birthday, I want everyone to tell me how much they love me and why in immense detail.

Commentary:
Ah, the classic birthday wish – to bask in a shower of love and compliments! 🎉🥳🎈 Nothing says "celebration" quite like a thorough appraisal of your fabulousness, right? Just make sure to have some tissues on standby for the tears of joy and the occasional eye roll from your friends. After all, it's your special day, and what better way to indulge in a bit of self-love than by demanding it from others? 😜
6 months ago
Share →: Need someone to feed me Doritos while I read, so I don’t mess up the pages. No weirdos.

Commentary:
"Looking for a Dorito fairy godmother to save my snacks and my pages from disaster 👸🏻🧀📚 But sorry weirdos, we have standards in this literary kingdom! 👑🚫"