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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Home » Funny Schedule Quotes

18 Funny schedule quotes

Funny schedule quotes 📅😄 are the perfect way to add a splash of humor to your busy day! Whether you’re a master planner or a last-minute legend, these witty lines will keep you smiling through every meeting, deadline, and coffee break ☕️✨. Ready to laugh at the chaos of calendars and to-do lists? Let’s dive into some hilarious takes on the art of scheduling! 🎉🕒

Let’s ruin each other’s sleep schedules and call it romance.

Posted on4 weeks ago4 weeks ago

Schedule your bikini wax for the first thing in the morning, and you won’t need that cup of coffee.

Posted on2 months ago2 months ago

Trying to squeeze in more nothingness today, but my schedule is already packed with procrastination!

Posted on2 months ago2 months ago

“Are you busy tomorrow?” My dear, that entirely depends on the rest of the information you’re about to give me.

Posted on2 months ago2 months ago

One thing I will never understand about adulthood is how I’m supposed to make appointments if I work full time and every place closes at 6 p.m.

Posted on2 months ago2 months ago

Stay up till 4 a.m. one night, and your sleep schedule is ruined for the next 4 years.

Posted on2 months ago2 months ago

If you burned CDs for the car so your original copies wouldn’t get scratched, it’s time to schedule your colonoscopy.

Posted on2 months ago2 months ago

Have an early flight tomorrow, so naturally I’m going to stay up late tonight and be weird in my room.

Posted on3 months ago3 months ago

Maybe your soulmate’s just late, like, wildly behind schedule.

Posted on3 months ago3 months ago

9-5 is really 10-2 if you’re working remote.

Posted on5 months ago5 months ago

Nothing messes up your Friday like realizing it’s only Thursday.

Posted on6 months ago

I didn’t believe in karma until I was scheduled to work at 6am on a holiday.

Posted on6 months ago

Don’t invite me anywhere in the last minute. I enjoy doing nothing, so I need to know ahead of time if my plan to do nothing needs to be changed.

Posted onFeb 25, 2025

They should invent friends whose schedules line up with yours.

Posted onFeb 9, 2025Feb 9, 2025

I used to schedule naps, but now they’re little surprise parties my body throws at all hours of the day.

Posted onJan 26, 2025

Schedule your appointment early in the month before your dentist starts fretting about their next boat payment.

Posted onJan 23, 2025

I’m a total go with the flow kinda person as long as the flow is meticulously scheduled well in advance and there are no mid-flow changes whatsoever.

Posted onJan 23, 2025

Having no one to talk would get you a good sleeping schedule.

Posted onJan 22, 2025

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