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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇬 has copied:

Microsoft: Before you sign in, we need to send you a code. Also, Microsoft: OMG, was that you that requested a code? Also, Microsoft: OMG, someone just signed in to your account.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has downloaded:

Women in movies look so beautiful when they sleep. Meanwhile, I’m tossing and turning all night like a forgotten 7-Eleven hot dog.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has downloaded:

Accessories can really boost a woman’s self-confidence. For example, I know I would feel 10x sexier if I carried a sword with me at all times.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has bookmarked:

Behind every strong, independent woman… is a dog that follows her to the bathroom.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has copied:

I just want everyone to know that somebody cares. Not me, but somebody does.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has downloaded:

Getting excited to go to bed is a different level of adulting.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has viewed:

I think my new neighbors are creeps. They seem to be looking into my window every time I’m looking out my window to see what they are doing.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has bookmarked:

You can just enjoy kombucha. You don’t need to go on a tirade about cleansing your gut.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has copied:

Nothing you want to do has a timeline.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has copied:

You told your cat how much you love him, but now it’s morning, the sun is out, you’re sober, and it’s just weird for both of you.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,728

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Twitch:

Why is bacon called bacon and cookies called cookies if you cook bacon and bake cookies?

Spotted on Discord:

Anytime I switch deodorants, it’s like a sexy stranger is following me around all day.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Nothing is funnier than seeing how angry someone gets when they realize they can’t manipulate you.

Trending via YouTube:

I trust an insult more than I do a compliment.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Be a pineapple: stand tall, wear a crown, and be sweet on the inside.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

If you think my posts are ridiculous, you should see some of my life choices.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

You’re over 35. Better go pee before you leave, pee when you get there, pee while you’re there, and pee before you leave.

Trending via WeChat:

Passive income? Brothers, I need massive income.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

I’ve officially reached the age where I don’t want to do anything after 9pm.

Going bananas on Slack:

Warning: This movie contains “Adult Themes” such as interest rates, bad knees, back pain, and excitement about going to bed early.

55 Funny shower quotes

Funny shower quotes bring humor to those moments of clarity and creativity under the water! 🚿😂 Whether it’s about singing your heart out or pondering life’s mysteries while shampooing, these quotes capture the lighter side of shower time. Get ready to laugh and soak in some fun! 😄🛁

New funny shower quotes 👇

Sometimes I shower in the dark and pretend I’m in a rainforest on an alien planet.

3 weeks ago

alien, alien planet, bath, bath time, dark, humor, i, imagination, planet, pretend, rainforest, shower, sometimes, time
Long shower. Fresh sheets. Hair braided. Lights off. Candle glowing. Room smells incredible. Airplane crash videos on.

3 weeks ago

airplane, airplane crash video, braid, candle, crash, dark, dark humor, fresh, glowing, hair, hair braid, humor, incredible, irony, light, light off, lights, relaxation, room, room smell, sheet, sheets, shower, smell, smells, video, videos
Had a shower and put on clean pajamas. It was a productive day.

3 weeks ago

clean, daily, daily routine, day, humor, pajamas, productive, productive day, put, routine, self-care, shower
The concept of hot water showers feeling so good but not actually being good for your hair or skin is disgusting.

3 weeks ago

actually, being, concept, contradiction, discomfort, disgusting, feeling, good, hair, hot, hot water, hygiene, irony, shower, showers, skin, water
Guys, stop showering. I need the water for ChatGPT.

3 weeks ago

ChatGPT, conservation, guys, humor, i, joke, need, shower, stop, technology, water, water conservation
I hate having a body, it’s so high maintenance. Shower this, eat that, drink this, sleep that, it’s all very stupid.

3 weeks ago

body, daily, daily routine, drink, eat, frustration, hate, having, high, humor, i, maintenance, routine, shower, sleep, stupid
Few things in life are as disappointing as having to poop right after a shower.

3 weeks ago

after, bathroom, disappointment, having, hygiene, life, poop, right, shower, things
Perfume is key, but deodorant is keyer and showering is keyest.

3 weeks ago

care, deodorant, humor, hygiene, key, perfume, personal, personal care, shower, wordplay
I wish people knew how good I can sing when I’m alone in my car and in my shower.

3 weeks ago

alone, car, good, humor, i, moment, people, performance, private, private moment, self-expression, shower, sing, singing, wish
Why is everything 10x better at night? Driving, showering, eating, vibing to music, watching Netflix… phone calls. Like, everything.

3 weeks ago

better, call, calls, driving, eating, entertainment, everything, music, Netflix, night, phone, phone call, shower, vibe, watching, why

For even more funny shower quotes, hit next 👇

All funny shower quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

38 shares on Slack this month:

Isn’t your email address beautifulgirl@mydreams.com?

93 shares on WeChat this month:

20s: LOL! 30s: OMG! 40s: WTF!

21 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I have a question and my question is, how can I look so cute in the mirror but like such a baked potato in pictures?

38 shares on Messenger this month:

Of course I stay hydrated. Carbohydrated.

30 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Good things take time, that’s why I’m always late.

26 shares on Discord this month:

Sometimes I wanna delete all my social media and throw my phone into a river.

77 shares on Messenger this month:

I don’t think inside the box and I don’t think outside the box. I don’t even know where the box is.

19 shares on Twitch this month:

Someone is probably in the worst argument of their life right now. LOL!

51 shares on Twitch this month:

I think my dog always follows me to the bathroom because I always follow him outside and he thinks that’s the way it works.

16 shares on Instagram this month:

Winter is actually awesome because if you put on a couple of movies at 5 p.m., it’s already pitch black and the evening is super long, so it feels like you’re staying up til 2 a.m., but in reality, it’s only 11 p.m. 10/10!

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I tried to act normal once, worst five minutes of my life.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

The worst person you know is in therapy right now, being told they need to put themselves first.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

My parents often told me I would lose my own head if it wasn’t screwed on and now that I’m an adult, I want to know what tools I need to have it screwed off.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I like my job, but if I had the opportunity to become a rich housewife, I would take it.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Robert De Niro always looks like he just smelled a nasty fart.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

We should start referring to age as “levels.” So when you’re level 80, it sounds a lot cooler than just being an older person.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

“Unc” is short for “unclear.” It’s unclear what it means. “Uncle” is short for “unclear” as well.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I would definitely deny being from here if the aliens pulled up and asked. Not claiming this embarrassing planet in front of intergalactic travelers, are you dumb?

10 folks are currently checking 👀

If anyone wants a more cost effective energy provider, I can supply endless energy on tap from my absolutely not tired child at bedtime.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Today I choose kindness, but we’ll see, it’s still early.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,447

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇿 has copied:

Easy there, unsaved number.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has viewed:

Monday is already sending me threatening glances from across the room.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has downloaded:

The adjective for metal is metallic, but not so for iron, which is ironic.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has shared:

People who pee in the shower, have you thought about peeing before you get in the shower?

Someone from 🇫🇮 has downloaded:

He doesn’t realize it yet, but this Saturday, I’ll be asking him to untangle 400 feet of Christmas lights.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has shared:

They say we learn from our mistakes. That’s why I’m making as many as possible… I’ll be a genius soon.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has bookmarked:

If Microsoft Edge is brave enough to ask to be your default browser, you can be brave enough to ask that girl out.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has viewed:

Next on Tiny Houses: A family of 6 moves into a boat emoji.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has downloaded:

I can’t decide if people who wear pajamas in public have given up on life or are living it to the fullest.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has bookmarked:

A guy in the parking lot saw me trip over my own feet so I yelled to him “I just quantum leaped into this body!”

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Twitch:

Note to self: Very important! First hang up, then insult.

Spotted on X:

Sorry, can’t. I’m too busy growing new neural pathways to make space for a stranger’s opinion. Evolution takes bandwidth, man.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

I’ve got nothing against kids, I just don’t understand why you’d want indoor kids.

Making waves on TikTok:

If I text you at 8:10, you’re supposed to reply at 8:09.

Trending via Pinterest:

Don’t mispronounce anything next to me and think I didn’t hear it.

Just shared via Twitch:

Sorry, I liked your post one second after you posted it but in my defense, I’ve had my phone in my hand since 2012.

Trending via Twitch:

Doing taxes for an ant who inherited a teaspoon of sugar.

Making waves on Reddit:

We can’t use nicknames at work anymore, and I blame Teletubby.

Shared recently on X:

Indiana Jones is a fantasy about being a professor with no admin duties.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

Hey bartender, can you turn down the music, please? This guy I just met is trying to explain how baseball works.

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