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Someone from 🇬🇲 has copied:

Next time I lose my mind I swear I’m not even going to look for it any more.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has bookmarked:

It’s called a “sports car” because getting out of one after 40 is a physical event.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has downloaded:

Did 900 crunches today. It was a bag of Cheetos, but still.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has bookmarked:

The quickest way to double your money is to hold it in front of a mirror.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has shared:

I don’t need coffee, misanthropy fuels me.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has downloaded:

I’m a total go with the flow kinda person as long as the flow is meticulously scheduled well in advance and there are no mid-flow changes whatsoever.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has copied:

Looking to sell my DeLorean. Great shape, low mileage. Only driven from time to time.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has shared:

I’m already excited about who I’m going to think sucks first today.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has bookmarked:

I realized Americans were dramatics the day I found out 200 lb is just 90 kg.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has copied:

Why do men always think “looking for fun” means sex? Wat if I want us to draw?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

531 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,124

Funny Quotes Topics

17,272

Funny Quotes Images

15,124

Updated

Dec 27, 2025

Users Online

3,664

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Reddit:

My mirror needs a screenshot button.

Live now on X:

Look, a three-day weekend is all I ask. The rest can be four-day weekends.

Going viral on Instagram:

Caught my husband staring at me again. He’s probably weighing his pros and cons.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

Shutting up is gluten-free. Maybe add that to your diet, princess.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Goodnight to the men who know one woman is enough. The rest can die.

Making waves on Slack:

Tried to sleep by reading a boring book and now it’s suddenly the most interesting book.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

All dogs go to heaven, but I never see them in church.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Fruit and vegetables expire faster when you’re the one paying for them.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Welcome to my very loose interpretation of ‘functioning adult’.

Going viral on Twitch:

Weed smokers be like, “Hold up — before we go to the store, I have to get scared.”

Home » Funny Slow Quotes » Page 2

36 Funny slow quotes

More funny slow quotes 👇

If this meeting were any slower, it’d be a landscape painting.

0

2 months ago

humor, joke, landscape, meeting, office, pacing, painting, productivity, sarcastic, satire, slow
They should invent a weekend that goes by slowly.

0

2 months ago

fun, humor, invent, leisure, relaxation, should, slow, time, weekend, wish
Yoga is just slow motion breakdancing.

0

2 months ago

breakdancing, exercise, fitness, humor, just, motion, movement, slow, slow motion, yoga
Don’t ever let your computer feel that you’re in a hurry, cause they’re gonna slow down more.

0

2 months ago

computer, humor, hurry, irony, procrastination, slow, slow down, technology
Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow internet to see who they really are.

0

2 months ago

computer, humor, internet, marry, patience, person, real, relationship, slow, slow internet, test
My superpower is always picking the line at the grocery store that moves the slowest.

0

2 months ago

frustration, grocery, grocery store, humor, line, patience, shopping, slow, store, superpower
But have you tried getting slow neck kisses and soft ear whispers about it?

0

2 months ago

affection, date, ear, getting, intimacy, kisses, neck, slow, soft, tried, whispers
Adulthood is saying “but after this week things will slow down a bit” over and over until you die.

0

2 months ago

adulthood, after, bit, die, expectations, humor, life, over, procrastination, routine, saying, slow, slow down, stress, things, week
You ever get road rage while walking behind someone moving slowly at the grocery store?

0

2 months ago

ever, everyday, everyday life, frustration, grocery, grocery store, humor, life, movement, moving, rage, road, road rage, slow, slow movement, someone, store, walking
Who you are when you’re stuck behind a slow driver is the real you.

0

2 months ago

driver, frustration, humor, identity, personality, rage, real, real you, road, road rage, slow, slow driver, stuck

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Social Media Stars ⭐

59 shares on Reddit this month:

I could never commit gun violence. The only things I know how to reload are my pill caddy and the batteries for the remote.

100 shares on LinkedIn this month:

It turns out, as you get older, you don’t actually figure anything out; you just don’t have any energy to care anymore.

26 shares on Threads this month:

You ever want someone so bad it pisses you off a little.

92 shares on Twitch this month:

When you say “You’re going to hate me for this,” you’re making a very large assumption that I don’t hate you already.

17 shares on Snapchat this month:

When I was a child, my social network was called ‘outside’.

54 shares on WhatsApp this month:

“Turn down for what?” My ears, fella. My ears.

31 shares on Telegram this month:

If you’re a guy and you’re struggling right now, just remember nobody cares, and it does get worse.

64 shares on Twitch this month:

I’m not saying Lois Lane is a bad investigative journalist, but my friend Greg didn’t wear glasses to work yesterday and I recognized him by lunch time.

20 shares on Instagram this month:

Kids be like: “Nice bathroom mirror. It would be a shame if I spat toothpaste all over it.”

70 shares on Slack this month:

Daylight savings is not enough. You need to be daylight investing.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇼 has viewed:

Some people find it strange when you talk to your pet. I find conversations with some people much stranger.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has bookmarked:

“What’s your music taste?” Don’t know, man. If it sounds good, I’m adding it to the playlist.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has viewed:

Horrifying if literal: my girlfriend is a gym rat.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has shared:

Opening a bakery and calling it “I’m a crepe. I’m a weird dough.”

Someone from 🇶🇦 has viewed:

I speak my mind, cause it hurts when I bite my tongue.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has bookmarked:

Me at war: You guys mind if I leave a bit early today?

Someone from 🇳🇦 has shared:

Farts are just the ghosts of the things we eat.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has downloaded:

Old Spice doesn’t sound like something you wanna smell.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has viewed:

Should be able to shazam the inner yearnings of my heart.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has copied:

Who you are before you have your coffee is the real you.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Telegram:

Why are there people outside at the same time as me? It’s my turn.

Just shared via TikTok:

If you wear enough cardigans, people will assume you’re smart and you can stop reading entirely.

Spotted on Slack:

“Well at least I don’t have to wake up any more.” Is what I want my tombstone to say.

Making waves on Messenger:

I’m at the age where I consider any picture of me taken in the last ten years “current.”

Broadcasted on Reddit:

Imagine hating me, and I’m over here with one hand in my pocket, and the other one giving a high five.

Spotted on Slack:

I love putting on warm underwear fresh out of the dryer. Plus, it’s fun to look around the laundromat and guess who they belong to.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Instead of presents this year, I’m giving everyone my opinion. Get excited!

Trending via WhatsApp:

The prime minister is a minister that is not divisible by any other minister.

Seen just now on Discord:

This is the fastest December in the history of all December.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Please make sure you are only drinking as much water as you REALLY need. We need that for the data centers. If you’re thirsty, AI is thirsty too.

Activity Log ✨

36 Funny slow quotes

More funny slow quotes 👇

All funny slow quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨