12 Funny strategy quotes

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  2 months ago

  Share →: Finding a person to make eye contact with during stupid meetings is essential to survival in the workplace.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the silent office camaraderie of locking eyes with a fellow meeting sufferer, sharing a moment of 'Can you believe this?' without saying a word. 🤨👀 It's like our secret language of sanity in a sea of corporate absurdity!"

• 

  3 months ago

  Share →: If you can’t beat them, arrange to have them beaten.

  Commentary:
  "Remember, if you can't beat them, there's always the option to hire a professional beat-maker. Just make sure to check their references first!"

• 

  4 months ago

  Share →: Saying “Hmmmm” when my boss walks in so he knows I’m thinking about stuff.

  Commentary:
  "Always make sure to keep the boss guessing 🤔💭… or at least give the illusion that you're contemplating profound matters instead of just daydreaming about lunch 🥪😂. Mastering the art of 'Hmmmm' can take your workplace presence from 'average employee' to 'deep thinker extraordinaire' in no time! 😆 #BossMindGames"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Fundamentally, I understand chess, because I too would never let my king feel unsafe.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the king – that regal centerpiece of the chessboard, demanding only the finest bodyguard service! 👑♟️ No surprises here, I mean, who in their right mind would want their ruler to break into a cold sweat during a game of strategic warfare? Checkmate anxiety, anyone? 😂 #RoyalPriorities"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: I walked into a holiday party, saw someone else already playing with the dog, and realized they’d stolen my entire social strategy.

  Commentary:
  🐶🎉 "I walked into a holiday party, excited to mingle, only to find my soulmate playing with the dog like it's the last piece of cake! Guess I need to paws and rethink my social game plan. Who knew my competition would be a four-legged furry charmer? 🤷‍♂️🐾 #DoggoStealsTheShow"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Going to ask seven friends for advice and then execute my original plan.

  Commentary:
  "Seeking advice from seven friends just to make them feel included before doing exactly what we were going to do all along 🤷‍♂️🙃 #TrustYourInstincts"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Play the long game? You mean Monopoly?

  Commentary:
  Oh, playing the long game is just like Monopoly – except instead of hotels and houses, it's all about adulting and making important life choices! 🎲💼 Don't forget to pass "Go" and collect a sense of accomplishment along the way! 😉

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: You should tell different people completely different things about yourself so that they then get into arguments when gossiping about you.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the art of creating chaos through strategic gossip fodder! 😏 Mixing it up like a cocktail of conflicting information, watch the drama unfold as your friends play a high-stakes game of 'He said, she said!' 🍹🔥 Just remember to grab some popcorn and enjoy the show! 🍿😂"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: My chess strategy is eating one of your pieces every time you look away.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the ever-elusive 'distract-and-snack' strategy in chess 🍴👀 Better keep your eyes on the board, or your pieces might just vanish faster than a magician's rabbit 🐇💨"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: I’m going to start walking around in my yard all day in a bathrobe so my neighbors will build that privacy fence I always wanted.

  Commentary:
  "Just when you thought your bathrobe was only for lazy mornings and lounging…turns out it's the ultimate tool for getting that much-needed privacy fence! Who knew fashion could be so persuasive? 🚪🛋️🌳 #FashionGoals #NeighborhoodTactics"

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