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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇹 has shared:

So I think the mammals have now ravaged this planet long enough. It’s time for the reptiles to take over again.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has shared:

You can generate images with your mind whenever you want. You don’t even need AI.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has copied:

I wanna meet the person whose parents are super disappointed he went to medical school instead of becoming a stand-up comedian.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has downloaded:

My problem is I buy outfits I don’t have shoes for and shoes I don’t have outfits for.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has shared:

All I’m saying is, there are too many songs about love and not enough songs about evenly layered nachos.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has shared:

Super excited about a brand new week of faking it.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has bookmarked:

This year is starting to feel like it needs to be left outside until we see if it can act right.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has shared:

“You handled it so well.” Nah, I didn’t. I lost my spark, felt crazy, distanced myself from everyone, and hated myself.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has copied:

If you’re bored when you’re alone, obviously you’re in bad company.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has shared:

When life gives you lemons, take the lemons. They were a gift. Maybe life thought you liked lemons. Did you think about that? No, you’re always thinking about yourself.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

676 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,738

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Reddit:

Jewelry stores should just be like: Whether you’re trying to be nice or trying to get laid, we got you covered.

Just shared via Instagram:

Some people are so judgmental, I can tell by just looking at them.

Just landed via Snapchat:

One thing nobody gives pigeons enough credit for is their ability to get out of the way on the sidewalk. A lot of you could learn a thing or two from them.

Trending via Twitch:

“Well at least I don’t have to wake up any more.” Is what I want my tombstone to say.

Seen just now on Discord:

I need an emergency cheeseburger.

Seen just now on Threads:

I love hard, but I stupid harder.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

You’re in her DMs. I’m accidentally reposting reels of Tibetan foxes because I don’t know how to use the app anymore.

Just shared via WeChat:

My boyfriend just said “I encourage you to try all things” to our cat who was licking up Buffalo sauce.

Broadcasted on Discord:

That gap between Christmas and New Year’s when you can’t tell what day of the week it is.

41 Funny telling quotes

More funny telling quotes 👇

The tarot lady on my TikTok said that you miss me.

0

2 months ago

fortune, fortune telling, humor, lady, me, media, miss, said, social, social media, tarot, telling, TikTok
Telling my coworkers I can’t talk in meetings today because I need to save my voice for concerts this weekend.

0

2 months ago

activity, concert, concerts, coworker, coworkers, excuse, fun, fun activity, humor, i, meeting, meetings, need, save, talk, telling, today, voice, weekend, work
Telling your parents about your problems is like adding another problem to your life.

0

2 months ago

advice, another, communication, family, humor, life, parent, parents, problem, problems, telling
Too many losers and not enough people telling them they’re losers.

0

2 months ago

commentary, criticism, enough, feedback, honesty, loser, losers, people, self-awareness, social, social commentary, telling, too, truth
I deserve an Oscar for telling my dentist I don’t eat candy.

0

2 months ago

award, candy, comedy, confession, dentist, deserve, eat, honesty, humor, i, lie, Oscar, telling
When people are telling me a story about their life it often reminds me of a much better story from my life.

0

2 months ago

better, experience, humor, life, me, much, people, personal, reminder, story, telling
Thinking of telling my extra weight that I love it so that it can leave me too.

0

2 months ago

body, body image, extra, extra weight, humor, i, image, leave, love, me, motivation, relationship, self-deprecation, telling, thinking, too, weight
I’ve decided to handle this like a mature adult, I’m telling your mom.

0

2 months ago

adult, communication, handle, humor, mature, mature adult, mom, reaction, responsibility, telling
If a billionaire is telling you to vote for someone, it’s probably in your best interest to vote for the other person.

0

2 months ago

advice, best, billionaire, election, humor, interest, person, politician, sarcasm, someone, telling, vote
Married life: Telling your partner the same sentence 7 days in a row, only for him to say, “You definitely never told me that!”

0

2 months ago

communication, days, definitely, humor, life, married, married life, me, misunderstanding, never, only, partner, relationship, repetition, row, same, say, sentence, telling, told

For even more funny telling quotes, hit next 👇

All funny telling quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

97 shares on Snapchat this month:

On my phone, you’ll never see contacts saved as ‘babe’ or ‘love.’ I save full names—first and last—like a government office.

31 shares on Facebook this month:

Isn’t it odd that “read” is pronounced like “lead”, while “read” is pronounced like “lead”?

53 shares on Slack this month:

Ask your girlfriend for her ring size and then give her a personalized bowling ball.

57 shares on Discord this month:

As everyone was arguing about politics, no one saw me leave with the cake.

23 shares on Pinterest this month:

“It’s Raining Men” and “Let the Bodies Hit the Floor” are the same song from different points of view.

12 shares on YouTube this month:

The problem with leading by example is that no one pays attention.

38 shares on YouTube this month:

Apparently, if you leave your Tupperware cupboard unorganized for too long, they procreate, and extra lids appear out of nowhere.

45 shares on Pinterest this month:

Somebody just told me I was living the dream, I can assure you I have never dreamt of this shit right here.

86 shares on X this month:

You know when you have so much to do that you just sit down and do nothing?

27 shares on Discord this month:

You are my favorite dirty thought.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇳 has downloaded:

About to watch Tenet for the first time and I enjoyed it.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has shared:

God: “I don’t regret the Flood, but I do regret the Ark.”

Someone from 🇰🇲 has shared:

Standing like a flamingo at my kitchen counter eating watermelon is such a vibe.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has viewed:

Can’t stop thinking about that time at the planetarium where they showed us a picture of earth and everyone booed.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has viewed:

At some point, I need to admit my ‘guilty pleasure’ music taste is just my music taste now.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has bookmarked:

Behind every robot that turns evil is an engineer who specifically installed red LEDs into the eyes just for this scenario.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has copied:

Writing cover letters feels soooo “Ever since I was a little boy, I knew I wanted to be an administrative assistant when I grew up.”

Someone from 🇺🇾 has bookmarked:

There’s nothing worse than being in public and you touch something that shouldn’t be sticky and it is.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has copied:

One of the benefits of being my friend is that you can come to my house in your pajamas, no make-up, and look like crap and I won’t judge you.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has copied:

Men have nice skin because they stress out everyone but themselves.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Threads:

My most boomer belief is that you can often get a malfunctioning appliance to work again by slapping it.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

My signature move is always learning my lessons the hard way.

Freshly posted on Threads:

What is the name of the course in medical school where you learn not to take your patients seriously?

Broadcasted on Discord:

My parents often told me I would lose my own head if it wasn’t screwed on and now that I’m an adult, I want to know what tools I need to have it screwed off.

Just landed via Threads:

Planking is the only time we appreciate time.

Going bananas on Slack:

A hot tub is basically a big bowl of human soup.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

I wish I loved exercising as much as I love not exercising.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Forgot how fun it is to post IG stories. I feel like a female filmmaker.

Going bananas on YouTube:

No one shoots at your feet and tells you to dance anymore.

Activity Log ✨

41 Funny telling quotes

More funny telling quotes 👇

All funny telling quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨