Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇫 has viewed:

Imagine if spiders giggled when they ran away from us.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has downloaded:

My cats won’t talk to me because I came home late from work.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has shared:

Psych meds aren’t enough anymore. Hit me with a shovel.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has downloaded:

If my cats are going to insist upon me getting up early, they’re going to have to learn how to make coffee.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has viewed:

Daylight savings is just a made up holiday to sell more daylight.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has bookmarked:

Teens are like, “My homework isn’t done, but check out this presentation I made on why I need Instagram.”

Someone from 🇨🇬 has viewed:

Nobody ever talks about how Sodom and Gomorrah were walkable cities.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has copied:

I love when my husband says, “correct me if I’m wrong,” like I would pass up that opportunity.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has copied:

Of course I wrote a grocery list. I carefully wrote it all down and then didn’t bring it with me, like my mother and her mother before her.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has shared:

I hate checking my bank account after having a good time.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1837 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,999

Funny Quotes Topics

14,798

Funny Quotes Images

11,999

3 minutes ago

3,445

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via YouTube:

Lazy Rule: Can’t reach it, don’t need it.

Reported on X:

People who own banana costumes will wear that shit to anything.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Clearly, hell is empty, the demons are all here.

Spotted on Threads:

I’m addicted to following the rules I made up. And also breaking the rules I made up.

Making waves on TikTok:

Your call is really important to us but first enjoy this clarinet number for the next seventy five minutes.

Reported on WeChat:

That fight could’ve been an email.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Perhaps we should have further developed natural intelligence before venturing into artificial intelligence.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Can’t argue with a guy that has curly hair. Whatever you say, gorgeous.

Just landed via WeChat:

Some people are wise; some are otherwise.

Breaking via Threads:

There are people who leave comments on porn videos.

Home » Funny Thoughts Quotes » Page 2

65 Funny thoughts quotes

More funny thoughts quotes 👇

1 month ago
Share →: Some things are better left unsaid, which I usually realize after I say them.

Commentary:
"Pro tip: Use the 'delay shipping' option on words! 🚚💨🤭"
1 month ago
Share →: Thinking about writing my own eulogy because I don’t want my loved ones to say I’m a control freak.

Commentary:
"At least you'll get the last word… and the last laugh! 😂✏️📝 #UltimateControl"
2 months ago
Share →: “It’s all in your head.” Correct! Unfortunately, I am also in there.

…

Commentary:
"When your brain is a full house and you're the permanent guest! 🧠🤯😅"
2 months ago
Share →: Having a crush is so stupid. Like, why is this dude in my head at 8 am?

Commentary:
"Why are you taking up prime brain real estate before I've had my coffee? ☕️💭🤦‍♀️"
2 months ago
Share →: Need a permanent vacuum for unwanted thoughts.

Commentary:
"BRB, just setting up an all-you-can-suck brain buffet! 🧠😅🌀"
2 months ago
Share →: Adulting has stunned me into silence. I have no thoughts, no remarks and no commentary at the moment.

Commentary:
"When adulting hits you so hard, even your inner monologue goes on vacation! 🧠✈️😶"
2 months ago
Share →: There’s no filter on my pics or my thoughts. I’m just out here raw-dogging it.

Commentary:
"Running low on filters and raw-dogging life like it's a new adventure! 😜📸✨"
2 months ago
Share →: At the gym and I forgot my headphones and now I have to listen to my own thoughts. Send help.

Commentary:
"Current situation: involuntarily becoming one with my thoughts 🧘‍♂️🤯 Can someone please ship an emergency playlist to the gym? 🎧😂"
3 months ago
Share →: I want to sleep but my brain won’t stop talking to itself.

Commentary:
Ah, the classic dilemma of wanting serenity but being stuck with a chatty brain 🧠💬. It's like trying to negotiate a peace treaty between your eyelids and your thoughts! 😅 Maybe your brain just needs a lullaby or a good pun to finally shut up and let you catch some Z's. 😴✨
3 months ago
Share →: If you’re thinking what I’m thinking, you need professional help.

Commentary:
Haha, sounds like your brain and my humor are on the same mischievous page! 😂 Sometimes, our thoughts need a serious intervention—maybe a comedy therapist? 🎭🤪 Just remember, laughter is the best medicine… unless you're thinking of eating a jar of pickles at midnight—then you might need real help! 🥒😅

For even more funny thoughts quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny thoughts quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1837 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,999

Funny Quotes Topics

14,798

Funny Quotes Images

11,999

3 minutes ago

3,441

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇦 has copied:

Imagine the carnage at an IKEA team building event.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has viewed:

Remember, when asking for a raise, it is considered customary to be sober.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has copied:

Sitting with my legs really wide to experiment with gender.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has viewed:

In banana years, I am bread.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has bookmarked:

Sometimes after sex, I wonder what it would be like to have sex as a couple.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has copied:

Just burned 2,000 calories trying to avoid someone I know at Walmart.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has downloaded:

The word aerobics comes from two Greek words: aero, meaning “ability to,” and bics, meaning “withstand tremedous boredom.”

Someone from 🇸🇴 has bookmarked:

Today’s book recommendation: “The Art of Silence” by the famous Chinese philosopher Shut-Up.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has shared:

Yes, I do talk to myself, everyone else just wants to argue with me.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has bookmarked:

I’m not arguing, I’m just explaining why I’m right louder.

Social Media Log 💫

Reported on Twitch:

Petition to make check-in at hotels 11am and check-out 3pm, not the other way around. Like, WTF?

Trending via Discord:

Everyone gives pleasure in some way, one when they enter a room, the other when they leave it.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Emotions? No thanks. I’m trying to cut down.

Trending via Reddit:

Sorry I can’t come today. My sister’s friend’s mother’s grandpa’s brother’s grandson’s uncle’s fish died, and it was tragic.

Live now on Slack:

Even before the internet, I always had a little side chat going on in my head.

Going viral on Twitch:

Dentists get rich by staring into your mouth for 30 seconds, playing sinking ships with their assistant, and then telling you to brush better.

Spotted on Slack:

I tried to scream into the abyss today but got a busy signal.

Making waves on Discord:

You can be anything. Be the person who ends the meeting early.

Just landed via TikTok:

Crossing my fingers one of the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse is single.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Being weird never goes out of style.

Share Wordgag 🙏

© 2025. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴