Wordgag ツ

6 months ago
Share →: My patience is like a gift card, not sure how much is left but lets give it a try.

Commentary:
"Approach with caution, my friend, my patience is like a mystery gift card – you never know when it's about to run out on you! 🕵️‍♂️💳 But hey, they do say curiosity is the spice of life, so let's give it a whirl and see if my patience surprises us both! 🎁😄"
6 months ago
Share →: Every time I see a couple riding a tandem bike, I try to figure out which one of them is pissed about it.

Commentary:
🚲 Seeing a couple on a tandem bike always raises the eternal question: who drew the short straw in this pedaling partnership? 😅 It's like a two-wheeled test of patience and teamwork. Just hope they don't hit a bump in the road… or have a tandem tiff! #RidingInSync
6 months ago
Share →: At least I can say I tried. I didn’t try, but I can say I did.

Commentary:
"Well, at least this person gets points for being honest about not trying 😂👏 Who needs actual effort when you've got a good excuse ready, right? #TriedButNotReally"
6 months ago
Share →: My girlfriend wants us to try couples counseling and I said we should use my therapist because he already knows what’s wrong with her.

Commentary:
Sounds like someone already has a head start on their partner's issues! 🙈 Why not kill two birds with one stone, right? 🤣 But hey, at least they're trying to work things out! 💑 #TherapyGoals
6 months ago
Share →: I’m going to try and be less of a people pleaser, is everyone ok with that?

Commentary:
"Breaking news: in a shocking turn of events, our beloved people pleaser has declared independence! 🎉 Brace yourselves, folks, change is coming! 🙌 This is a developing story, stay tuned for more updates on the quest for self-care and boundaries! 🚀 #NewEraBegins"
6 months ago
Share →: If you would like to get an idea of what an exorcism is like, try putting clothes on a toddler.

Commentary:
Ah, trying to put clothes on a toddler is the real-life exorcism we weren't prepared for! It's a battle of wills filled with flailing arms, wails of protest, and a force field of pure stubbornness! 👹👚✨ #ToddlerExorcism #ParentingLife
6 months ago
Share →: My doctor told me to try a milk bath. Adding the Cinnamon Toast Crunch was my idea.

Commentary:
"Who needs regular milk baths when you can spice things up with Cinnamon Toast Crunch? 🥛🛁🌟 Step aside, spa treatments, this breakfast concoction is the real MVP! Doctor's orders never sounded so delicious! 😄🥣"
6 months ago
Share →: Are you stupid, sand? You could just lay here forever on this beautiful beach, but no, you have to try with all you’ve got, to get into my shoes.

Commentary:
"Ah, the ambitious sand… Always striving for more, even if it means getting in your shoes! 🏖️👟 Just remember, sand, sometimes it's good to just relax and soak up the sun. 😄"
6 months ago
Share →: If at first you don’t succeed, try two more times so your failure is statistically significant.

Commentary:
"No need to worry about failing – just keep trying until your failure is scientifically verified! 📊🤓 Failing repeatedly is just part of the process, right? 😂 #StatisticallySignificantFailures"
6 months ago
Share →: Whenever my hormones try to get me to reproduce after all, I go to IKEA and watch the goings-on there. After that, I’m good again.

Commentary:
"Who needs baby fever when you've got furniture fever! 🛋️💁‍♂️ Just remember, assembling furniture is the only kind of building project you should tackle without protective gear. 😉🔨 #IKEAtherapy"