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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇹 has copied:

Apparently, staying to yourself and not bothering people bothers people.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has viewed:

My superpower? Staying calm when talking to idiots.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has downloaded:

Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It’s the transition that’s troublesome.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has shared:

Ugh, but profoundly.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has shared:

I think my dog always follows me to the bathroom because I always follow him outside and he thinks that’s the way it works.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has copied:

The first two drinks don’t count if you have social anxiety, they just turn you into a normal person.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has bookmarked:

I have so much to offer. It’s all bad, but still.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has viewed:

Why are “hemorrhoids” not called “assteroids”?

Someone from 🇱🇦 has copied:

When you have intense chemistry with someone, everyone else feels so bleh.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has copied:

There’s a cougar warning in my neighborhood, but apparently it’s just a big cat. I bought a case of wine coolers for nothing.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

767 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,929

Funny Quotes Topics

13,902

Funny Quotes Images

10,929

7 minutes ago

3,439

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on WeChat:

April fools prank: replace all the sugar in your house with cocaine.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Hold on, I just need to take off my glasses and put my face in my hands about it first.

Just shared via Threads:

My nutritionist told me wine doesn’t count as a fruit source so now I need to find a different nutritionist.

Making waves on Instagram:

There’s no one I respect more than duck hunters. You spent $15,000 on a camouflage boat to outsmart a duck.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

The number of times I stand in a room, staring because I forgot why I walked in there, is embarrassingly high.

Trending via Reddit:

I wish there were an option to turn off the Wi-Fi connection for WhatsApp only.

Just shared via TikTok:

Are you ever in the mood to get hit by a car and spend like one month in the hospital?

Trending via Messenger:

Remember when we were young and said “I’ll sleep when i’m older”? Well, now we can’t when we want to.

Making waves on Reddit:

Can I get back all those naps I refused to take as a kid? I could really use them now.

Trending via Reddit:

DMs full of guys who wouldn’t know what to do with me.

Home » Funny Wait Quotes

79 Funny wait quotes

Funny wait quotes are like the perfect seasoning to the sometimes tedious moments of waiting, adding a dash of humor and making time fly by. 🎉 Whether you’re in line at the coffee shop, waiting for a friend who’s perpetually late, or stuck in a seemingly endless meeting, these quotes can turn impatience into a giggle-fest. So, next time you’re stuck waiting, let a funny quote tickle your patience and keep you smiling! 😂

New funny wait quotes 👇

2 days ago
Share →: When I was young, I couldn’t wait to be older. Well, I wasn’t expecting this shit!

Commentary:
Ah, the fine print of adulthood—must have missed that part! 🧓📜😂
3 days ago
Share →: I can’t wait to retire so I can get up at 6 a.m. and go drive around really slow and make everybody late for work.

Commentary:
Driving slow in the fast lane: the real retirement perk 😂🚗💨🕖
5 days ago
Share →: Life is so boring when you don’t have a package on the way.

Commentary:
Tracking my package is my new favorite reality TV show 📦📺😂
6 days ago
Share →: Should we all just give up and get really into drugs? Wait, this is literally what happened in the 60s. That just clicked for me.

Commentary:
When life gives you lemons, make… psychedelic lemonade? 🍄🍋✨
6 days ago
Share →: If you think my posts are horrid, wait until you see the live stream of my colonoscopy.

Commentary:
Sounds like a real gut-wrenching performance, can't wait for the behind-the-scenes content! 🍿🩺😂
6 days ago
Share →: Everyone’s gangsta till you’re waiting on your dog to poop.

Commentary:
When your dog takes longer to poop than your favorite show takes for a new season… 🍿🐶⏳
6 days ago
Share →: Sure, breakups are hard, but have you ever had to wait for your phone to stop ringing so you can start using it again?

Commentary:
Oh, the heartbreak of waiting for the 'Ring of Shame' to end—my phone just loves holding me hostage! 📞😂📵
1 week ago
Share →: A couple of birds are outside fighting. Wait. They’ve quieted down. There’s a third bird. I think he may be their therapist.

Commentary:
When life gets ruff, bring in the squawkologist! 🐦🦜😂
1 week ago
Share →: If you wait until the last minute to do something, it only takes a minute to do it.

Commentary:
Procrastination level: Expert! ⏰😎 Why rush when you can embrace the thrill of last-minute genius? 🚀😂
1 week ago
Share →: Zelda was easier as a kid because if you hit a hard puzzle, you could just wait a few days for more brain matter to come in, but now it’s the opposite.

Commentary:
Guess I'm still waiting for that brain matter delivery, but it's stuck in eternal shipping delay! 🧠🚚⏳

For even more funny wait quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny wait quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

767 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,929

Funny Quotes Topics

13,902

Funny Quotes Images

10,929

7 minutes ago

3,434

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇷 has bookmarked:

Petition to add fitted sheet folding to the olympics.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has downloaded:

Welcome to Netflix. We have every movie but the one you actually want to watch.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has shared:

I’m not tispy. I’m merry.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has shared:

Getting married soon. Just need a spouse.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has shared:

“I’m still young”, I tell myself, as my knees make popping noises while standing up.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has viewed:

Alcohol is actually a performance-enhancing drug, but you’re not gonna like the performance.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has viewed:

Whenever you are feeling down, remember you’re the sperm that won.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has viewed:

Listen to your body? The body that craves a lethal amount of Kinder Bueno?

Someone from 🇧🇴 has downloaded:

Might make a living will because I don’t want my family deciding whether to pull the plug. My dad has a long history of being against wasting electricity.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has bookmarked:

At the self-checkout, I make small talk with myself and I wish I would just shut up.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Facebook:

My mom gave me a coffee mug that says “Be your own kind of beautiful” and I’m really trying not to read too much into that.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Marry the man who treats your dumb questions like they’re NASA-level problems.

Shared recently on WeChat:

They say water is the source of life, which is true because you can’t make coffee without water.

Going viral on WeChat:

If a portal opened up in front of me, I’d go in—no questions asked.

Making waves on Messenger:

Bragging about how I’ve “really turned my life around recently” without mentioning in which direction.

Shared recently on Slack:

I didn’t go to the Carribean, my tan is from standing in front of the rotisserie chicken at Costco.

Spotted on Facebook:

Girl math is avoiding shipping costs by buying more.

Just landed via YouTube:

Be a pineapple: stand tall, wear a crown, and be sweet on the inside.

Trending via Twitch:

Finally gathered all my thoughts and now they’re jumping me.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

People think I’m a minimalist, but I’m just broke.

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