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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇲 has bookmarked:

My fitness goal is to lose two straight jacket sizes.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has copied:

I thought I had more straws. Sorry, turns out that was the last one.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has downloaded:

“There’s a particular type of insufferability that rich people from poor countries have, that I don’t yet fully know how to verbalize.”

Someone from 🇹🇻 has bookmarked:

Wolves should really raise more people.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has shared:

Halloween is cool, but nothing is spookier than my previous choices in men.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has copied:

I’m now at the age where happy hour is a nap.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has downloaded:

My wallet is like an onion; opening it makes me cry.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has viewed:

Can someone call my keys? I forgot where I put them.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has downloaded:

Going to have a hobbit boi summer (throw a huge birthday party for myself, then mysteriously vanish right after insulting everyone).

Someone from 🇪🇪 has downloaded:

Neurodivergents will be like, ‘I’m so tired,’ and then refuse to sleep because they haven’t had enough me time after surviving the day.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,638

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Threads:

With great power comes a huge electric bill.

Just landed via X:

My neighbors were up shouting all night. I could barely hear my bagpipes.

Just landed via X:

Everyone loves a little silent treatment on the weekend.

Making waves on WeChat:

Flirting is easy until you have to flirt with the person you like.

Just shared via Telegram:

Why are those Mad Max guys always driving around, it’s not like there’s anywhere to go?

Broadcasted on Slack:

In banana years, I am bread.

Just landed via TikTok:

It was the worst of times, it was the worst of times.

Making waves on Reddit:

Ironically jogging pants are mostly worn by the laziest people.

Going viral on Instagram:

I’ve touched enough cacti to know they are sharp, but also not enough to stop touching cacti.

Making waves on Messenger:

Asked a German woman why Germany produced so many legendary physicists / mathematicians, and her response was basically, “Have you considered educating people who aren’t rich?”

39 Funny wild quotes

More funny wild quotes 👇

Any cults got something wild planned anytime soon? I’m trying to find the good estate sales.

3 months ago

anytime, cult, estate, estate sale, good, good time, humor, plan, planned, sale, sales, something, soon, time, trying, wild, wild plan
Applying for jobs sometimes is wild, like how am I supposed to be passionate about a company I don’t even work for yet?

3 months ago

am, application, career, company, employment, even, humor, hunt, i, interview, job, job application, job hunt, jobs, passion, wild, work
Don’t tell me about your wild weekend. My TV remote died and I switched the batteries around, and now it’s working.

3 months ago

around, battery, died, funny story, humor, i, me, problem-solving, remote, story, technology, tell, TV, weekend, wild, wild weekend, working
Mayor of a small town is such a wild job. It’s like being the president of a country where you went to high school with the whole population.

3 months ago

being, community, country, high, high school, humor, job, mayor, politics, population, president, school, small, small town, town, where, whole, wild, wild job
Being a dog must be wild, everyone you meet is your masseuse.

3 months ago

being, companionship, dog, everyone, humor, masseuse, meet, pet, relaxation, wild
There are risks you take when camping: severe weather, wild animals, someone bringing an acoustic guitar.

3 months ago

activity, animals, camping, guitar, humor, outdoor, outdoor activity, risks, someone, take, weather, wild
If I was an outlaw in the Wild West, my face would be on unwanted posters.

3 months ago

face, humor, i, outlaw, poster, unwanted, west, wild, Wild West
I was born to be wild, but only until around 9pm or so.

3 months ago

9pm, born, fun, humor, i, night, party, tired, wild
I need a reasonable job. Something like $3,000 an hour. Nothing too wild.

3 months ago

hour, humor, i, job, money, need, nothing, reasonable, salary, wild

For even more funny wild quotes, hit next 👇

All funny wild quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

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Social Media Stars ⭐

64 shares on Snapchat this month:

Someone tongue kissed me recently in a way I can only describe as 5th base.

75 shares on Slack this month:

Eating wings is the opposite of flying.

61 shares on LinkedIn this month:

“I’d love to go to the moon” I said “but on a full moon day of course, no point going all that way when only half of it’s there”

13 shares on TikTok this month:

Going to the beach as a feet guy must be insane.

33 shares on YouTube this month:

I hate when the lotion bottle pump squirts the hardened remains of its mucus plug into the palm of your hand.

19 shares on YouTube this month:

I’m not here to offend anyone; I’m here to offend everyone.

98 shares on Discord this month:

Just because I’m up sharing posts at 7 a.m. doesn’t mean I’m up. Don’t call my phone.

93 shares on Telegram this month:

Needing to rant and not wanting anyone to know your business is such a crazy combo.

84 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I’m changing the game. I’m starting to thank people from the top of my heart.

65 shares on YouTube this month:

Let’s play a game called you bring me food and I eat it.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇳 has viewed:

I’m not saying I need glasses. But today I watched a bunny in a meadow until it flew away.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has downloaded:

Caffeine is not enough anymore, I need to chew on a power line.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has bookmarked:

Rich people don’t put their couches against their wall. I moved my couch into the middle of the floor and still haven’t gotten rich. I don’t know what I’m doing wrong here.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has copied:

Every grocery store becomes an escape room if you see someone you know.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has shared:

There’s never a good place to clip your toenails at the library.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has copied:

People my age are raising children, and I’m just here trying to bribe myself with treats into doing my own chores.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has bookmarked:

My life is constantly oscillating between “must save money” and “you only live once”.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has viewed:

The fine art of sticking my nose where it doesn’t belong.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has shared:

All I’m saying is that big burgers should be wider not taller.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has downloaded:

I’m not super into getting older but I do like how nobody asks me to help them move anymore.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

Going bananas on WeChat:

Kids today have it much easier. When I was growing up and something bad happened, we had to go outside and spread our misinformation in person.

Going viral on Facebook:

Let’s all be grateful for a moment that stupidity is not contagious.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Let me help you turn that software into hardware.

Going viral on Facebook:

If anyone wants to sponsor me, I’ll be running a 0.002K this weekend to raise awareness for laziness.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

I wish I could be as excited about being awake as my dog is about me being awake.

Just shared via Reddit:

Ever since I was a little kid, I knew that I wanted to be late for work.

Going viral on Threads:

“I’ve had cigarettes that were better than entire years of my life.”

Freshly posted on X:

I only go for nature walks with people I can outrun.

Going viral on WeChat:

It’s called a Caesar Salad because you stab it a bunch of times when you eat it.

Activity Log ✨

39 Funny wild quotes

More funny wild quotes 👇

All funny wild quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

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Activity Log ✨