613 Funny work quotes

• Why is smoking the only addiction jobs give you breaks to do? I should get 15 minutes every hour to cook up some parlays.

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  2 months ago

  addiction, addiction humor, break, break time, breaks, cook, every, gambling, give, hour, humor, i, job, job break, jobs, minutes, only, parlay, should, smoking, time, why, work, work humor

• Clicking on a suspicious link at work just to feel something.

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  2 months ago

  behavior, boredom, clicking, feel, humor, internet, just, link, office, office humor, online, online behavior, risk-taking, something, suspicious, suspicious link, work

• How do I get one of those fake corporate jobs where I work remotely, get paid for responding to one email a day, and have a laptop on with Outlook or whatever open?

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  2 months ago

  corporate, corporate job, day, email, fake, fake job, home, humor, i, job, jobs, laptop, lazy, lazy work, life, office, office humor, open, outlook, paid, remote, remote work, responding, whatever, where, work, work from home, work life

• It’s truly insane when bosses assume their employees are working for any reason other than a paycheck.

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  2 months ago

  assume, assumption, boss, employee, employees, humor, insane, job, motivation, office, paycheck, reason, truly, work, working

• Billionaires didn’t get rich by working harder. They got rich by making sure you work harder, get paid less, and spend more.

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  2 months ago

  billionaire, economy, got, harder, inequality, labor, less, making, money, paid, pay, rich, spend, spending, sure, wealth, work, working

• I’ve accepted I’ll never retire. I’ll be working up until my funeral… probably using a vacation day for it.

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  2 months ago

  acceptance, day, funeral, humor, job, never, retire, using, vacation, vacation day, work, working

• A single garbageman contributes more to society before lunch than every crypto trader and op-ed writer combined does in their lifetime.

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  2 months ago

  before, contribution, crypto, crypto trader, ethic, every, garbageman, humor, lifetime, lunch, op-ed, op-ed writer, single, society, trader, work, work ethic, writer

• It’s unbelievable how much work goes into having a mid-physique and a relatively clean house.

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  2 months ago

  clean, clean house, effort, fitness, having, house, housekeeping, humor, lifestyle, mid-physique, much, work

• Getting an extra 20 minutes in the day when someone cancels a meeting is like finding a penny on the ground. Not gonna use it for anything, but wow, am I excited.

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  2 months ago

  20, am, anything, cancellation, day, excited, excitement, extra, extra time, finding, free, getting, ground, humor, i, joy, life, management, meeting, minutes, penny, small, small joy, someone, time, time management, unexpected, unexpected free time, work, work life

• Annoyed because I want to live my life without a job.

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  2 months ago

  annoyed, freedom, frustration, humor, i, job, life, live, want, work

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