Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇺 has copied:

Not right now. I’m manifesting.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has copied:

If white men can’t jump, how do you explain Super Mario?

Someone from 🇲🇹 has viewed:

“It’s swimsuit season” I say, eating another swimsuit.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has bookmarked:

I don’t like who I become when I’m watching someone Google something less efficiently than I would myself.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has bookmarked:

You can’t spell crypto without “cry”.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has bookmarked:

December turns me into someone who believes a fat man with a beard can fix everything.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has shared:

The worst thing about being an adult is that you have to be one every single day.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has copied:

Village life is when you send two kids out to play and six kids come back hungry.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has downloaded:

If you respond to my sarcasm with better sarcasm, then I might just catch feelings.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has copied:

Oh good. Another day.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,593

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Twitch:

Since I started following the wisdom of ancient Chinese philosopher Fuk Yu, my life has been so much better…

Just landed via WeChat:

I’m just a Whole Foods girl on a Walmart budget.

Seen just now on Slack:

Netflix subtitles be like “speaking foreign language”. Bro, translate it!

Seen just now on YouTube:

You can use an egg timer to tell you when your egg is cooked perfectly. For brown rice you can use a calendar.

Spotted on Twitch:

When your kids embarrass you in public, the only way out is to turn away in disgust and mutter loudly, “Who raised you?”

Going bananas on Facebook:

Whenever someone tells me how well behaved my kids are, I say it’s cause they’re not at home.

Going bananas on WeChat:

I made a smoothie that needs a spoon.

Shared recently on Instagram:

At the end of the day, it’s just me and me.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

Life hack: if you run out of treadmill space for your clothes, get a piano.

Just landed via Instagram:

Some people buy shoes to feel alive. I buy boarding passes.

Not everyone realizes this, but if you clean the pile of receipts out of a purse and stack them together, it makes a teeny tiny book about why you’re broke.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When life gives you receipts, just remember you're writing your financial autobiography! 📚💸😂

book, broke, budget, clean, cleaning, everyone, financial, humor, money, pile, purse, receipt, spending, tiny, together, why

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Living with a dog is 90% following each other around, watching each other go potty, and wondering what the other has in their mouth.

0

2 months ago

90, animal, animal behavior, around, behavior, companionship, daily, daily life, dog, following, humor, life, living, living with pet, mouth, owner, pet, pet owner, watching, wondering
Imagine hating me, and I’m over here with one hand in my pocket, and the other one giving a high five.

0

2 months ago

attitude, carefree, five, friendship, giving, hand, hatred, here, high, high five, humor, imagine, me, over, pocket, positivity, self-confidence
She is so narcissistic that her narcissism has narcissism.

0

2 months ago

ego, humor, love, narcissism, obsession, self, self-love, self-obsession
I love icebreakers. They really give me time to anxiously reflect on what the most fun fact about me is, while I don’t listen to anyone else at all.

0

2 months ago

anxiety, anyone, else, fact, fun, fun fact, give, humor, i, icebreaker, interaction, introvert, listen, love, me, most, reflect, reflection, small, small talk, social, social interaction, talk, time, while
I don’t need a maid. I just need someone to tell me once a week that they’re coming to visit, and I’ll panic-clean my entire house in less than an hour.

0

4 days ago

chores, cleaning, coming, hour, house, humor, i, just, less, maid, me, motivation, need, once, panic-cleaning, procrastination, someone, tell, visit, visitor, week
Do you ever restart the dryer because you don’t feel like folding the clothes yet?

0

2 months ago

chore, clothes, dryer, ever, feel, folding, household, humor, laundry, procrastination, relatable, restart

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

22 shares on Discord this month:

Here’s your daily reminder to not forget about Dre.

85 shares on Slack this month:

They should invent a January that doesn’t drain your will to live.

73 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Stop eating around the bush or whatever the saying is.

36 shares on Telegram this month:

Relationships: Because sometimes destroying your life is a two person job.

32 shares on Reddit this month:

Asbestos? I’m doing asbestos I can.

95 shares on Telegram this month:

I can’t believe we became the adults in the most unaffordable period in history.

60 shares on Telegram this month:

Can someone please fix the algorithm of my life?

26 shares on Facebook this month:

The older I get, no.

91 shares on Threads this month:

I have officially reached the age where I am bothered by lights being on, doors left open, loud noises, and people.

51 shares on Discord this month:

I wonder if it’s possible to swim from one end to the other in a pool filled with mashed potatoes.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇴 has shared:

“Ooh, you’ve caught the sun.” Translation: You look like you’ve been swimming in a volcano.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has viewed:

Apparently, throwing the remote against the wall didn’t help recharging the batteries.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has copied:

The night terrors don’t scare me half as much as the day terrors.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has downloaded:

My kids had to work extra hard this morning but they were able to get the clean house back to it’s normal messy state just in time for the guests to arrive.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has bookmarked:

Fact: Snow in November happens because people decorate for Christmas prematurely. You know who you are. Stop it.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has downloaded:

Increasing the amount of high fives I give my boss each day until he quits his job.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has bookmarked:

Yes, we absolutely can push our meeting to sometime after the new year, or mid-March, or the year after next, or never.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has downloaded:

Situationships are just you pretending you’re okay with getting used until they find someone they actually like.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has shared:

I’m an expert at having a really funny story to tell and then wording it so badly that it’s not even funny anymore.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has viewed:

They should invent a relationship that doesn’t turn into the worst experience of my entire life.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on YouTube:

The second date is you watching me parallel park and trying not to have a stroke.

Going bananas on X:

Is the elephant in the room with us right now?

Trending via Discord:

People would be more motivated to lose weight if the weight they lost went on to someone they didn’t like.

Making waves on WeChat:

I like listening to music in languages I don’t speak because sometimes I just don’t wanna know what anybody is talking about.

Shared recently on Messenger:

I alway get the same thing every year for Christmas. Fat!

Going viral on WhatsApp:

As a Dad, you always want your kids to be prepared for real life, that’s why trolling them is so vital.

Seen just now on Discord:

I want to be like a caterpillar. Eat a lot, sleep for a while, and then wake up beautiful.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Do you ever think back about all the crazy stuff you did when you were younger, and wonder how you’re still alive?

Just shared via Reddit:

Sorry I’m late. I was in the car waiting for my song to end.

Just shared via Pinterest:

When they dress up really nice, but all you can think about is the thrill of taking it off.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Not everyone realizes this, but if you clean the pile of receipts out of a purse and stack them together, it makes a teeny tiny book about why you’re broke.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Living with a dog is 90% following each other around, watching each other go potty, and wondering what the other has in their mouth.

Imagine hating me, and I’m over here with one hand in my pocket, and the other one giving a high five.

She is so narcissistic that her narcissism has narcissism.

I love icebreakers. They really give me time to anxiously reflect on what the most fun fact about me is, while I don’t listen to anyone else at all.

I don’t need a maid. I just need someone to tell me once a week that they’re coming to visit, and I’ll panic-clean my entire house in less than an hour.

Do you ever restart the dryer because you don’t feel like folding the clothes yet?

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨