Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇬 has shared:

You can’t confuse me. I already don’t know what’s going on.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has copied:

Some people are like sunglasses: your day just becomes so much brighter when you accidentally drop them off the side of the boat.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has bookmarked:

Unmarried in your 30s should honestly be rebranded as – ‘Congrats, you didn’t pick the wrong person out of panic’.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has downloaded:

I could tell my beard needed a trim when I started seeing some of the pictures my kids were drawing of me.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has shared:

Establish dominance by dropping your panties first.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has downloaded:

I will marry a man who treats me delicately as if I’m a gift straight from heaven.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has viewed:

Being excited to get in bed is a different level of adulting.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has copied:

He doesn’t realize it yet, but this Saturday, I’ll be asking him to untangle 400 feet of Christmas lights.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has shared:

I remember when a computer didn’t automatically connect to the internet, it used to make a screaming noise. We should have listened.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has viewed:

I get it cicadas, I’m ready to scream for six weeks too.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,442

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Reddit:

You’re an atheist? Well, I don’t believe you. See how you like it.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

I drive like I’m immortal.

Just landed via Instagram:

Anime characters are always like “But you didn’t know about my eye,” and then they activate their mode.

Shared recently on Discord:

I can’t wait to hit my 80s & run for Congress.

Trending via Slack:

I don’t post for money or fame, I post because there’s something seriously wrong with me.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Americans can choose from over 1,000 breakfast cereals but only two presidential candidates?

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

Love when a doctor emails me about my “outstanding bill”. If it’s so good, why don’t you pay it?

Seen just now on Telegram:

If you respond to my sarcasm with better sarcasm, then I might just catch feelings.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

I love jogging in this heat, cause the sweat hides my tears.

Going viral on Twitch:

My New Year’s resolution is to procrastinate. I’Il start tomorrow.

Not everyone realizes this, but if you clean the pile of receipts out of a purse and stack them together, it makes a teeny tiny book about why you’re broke.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When life gives you receipts, just remember you're writing your financial autobiography! 📚💸😂

book, broke, budget, clean, cleaning, everyone, financial, humor, money, pile, purse, receipt, spending, tiny, together, why

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

There’s a fat man inside me dying to get out.

0

2 months ago

body, body positivity, dying, fat, fat man, get out, humor, inside, man, me, positivity, self-image
I’m at the age where I see a huge, beautiful mansion in a movie and think, “How much does it cost to heat that house in the winter?”

0

1 month ago

age, beautiful, cost, heat, heating, house, huge, i, mansion, movie, much, think, where, winter
Just because the deodorant says 48 hours, it does not mean you have to challenge it.

0

2 months ago

48, 48 hours, care, challenge, deodorant, hours, humor, hygiene, just, mean, personal, personal care
Slipping into something more comfortable, another dimension.

0

4 months ago

alternate, alternate reality, another, comfortable, dimension, humor, reality, slip, slipping, something
Betrayal only comes from someone we’re close to. Just like herpes.

0

2 months ago

betrayal, close, friendship, herpes, humor, irony, just, relationship, someone, trust
Pepsi & Coca-Cola can’t even be in the same restaurant… and we want world peace.

0

5 months ago

Coca Cola, conflict, even, humor, irony, peace, Pepsi, restaurant, rivalry, same, want, world, world peace

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

58 shares on X this month:

It’s unbelievable how much work goes into having a mid-physique and a relatively clean house.

48 shares on YouTube this month:

Adulting is difficult. One minute you’re proud of yourself, the next minute you feel like you’re not doing enough.

29 shares on X this month:

The retirement age needs to be lowered to 40, I’ve had enough.

22 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Have come to the devastating realization that I am an over-nodder on video calls.

84 shares on TikTok this month:

I’m sorry I didn’t text you back. I’m really busy watching the The Lord of The Rings in the form of mini clips on TikTok.

70 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Do you ever cycle through the same 4 apps on your phone over and over again, and feel like a tiger pacing its cage at the zoo?

29 shares on X this month:

How old were you when you found out people in porn aren’t actually in love?

32 shares on Instagram this month:

Accidentally became important at work and it’s ruining my life.

37 shares on Discord this month:

I can’t believe bedtime used to be a punishment.

28 shares on Threads this month:

I’m waiting for the perfect moment to stop procrastinating.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇯 has copied:

Why is the debate at night time? Let’s get this thing started at 4pm. I don’t need to get riled up so close to bedtime.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has copied:

“I asked ChatGPT.” Okay, well, I asked my mom.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has bookmarked:

My dad’s handwriting makes a pharmacist look like a calligrapher.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has bookmarked:

Lost my Thesaurus. Gutted. Really gutted. Like absolutely gutted.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has downloaded:

When society eventually breaks down and we are left to rebuild civilization, I hope there are people who still know how to make cheese.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has bookmarked:

I need to figure out what I’m going to wear to the couch on New Year’s Eve.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has viewed:

No, I’m not depressed. I’m sure there’s just something wrong with the planets or stars or something.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has shared:

If you want to make God laugh, inhale some helium then tell Him your plans.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has shared:

The devil couldn’t reach me, so he made sure that the love I give is never reciprocated.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has shared:

Signing all emails with BOOM SHAKALAKA today.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on WhatsApp:

I used to think money is everything. I still think money is everything.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

I want to be cremated so that I will get a smoking-hot body again.

Shared recently on YouTube:

I hate lying to my parents but it’s for their own good.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

Sperm me would be swimming in the other direction.

Trending via TikTok:

Depression is embarrassing because sometimes it makes you miss appointments and not return phone calls, and when the fog starts to lift, you gotta do a whole bloody apology tour.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Having a horse run off on you in medieval times must have been crazy. Imagine if your car got scared and ran away, and you found it a day later by itself at a gas station.

Broadcasted on X:

Fishing for compliments like “I’m a mess in this photo that I took all morning to get the right angle and filter and after 50 selfies this is me”.

Broadcasted on Discord:

How old were you when you realized others couldn’t see the matrix?

Seen just now on Telegram:

If you step on the back of my shoe and it comes off, I will do the same thing to your head.

Making waves on WeChat:

Welcome to Elephant in the Room club, no one talks about it.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Not everyone realizes this, but if you clean the pile of receipts out of a purse and stack them together, it makes a teeny tiny book about why you’re broke.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

There’s a fat man inside me dying to get out.

I’m at the age where I see a huge, beautiful mansion in a movie and think, “How much does it cost to heat that house in the winter?”

Just because the deodorant says 48 hours, it does not mean you have to challenge it.

Slipping into something more comfortable, another dimension.

Betrayal only comes from someone we’re close to. Just like herpes.

Pepsi & Coca-Cola can’t even be in the same restaurant… and we want world peace.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨