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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇷 has copied:

I am on a diet where you just speak Italian: “Pasta,” “Pizza,” and “I’m leaving Rooma for dessert.”

Someone from 🇨🇴 has downloaded:

I’d be less aggressive in the morning if I could drive to work in a tank.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has shared:

I believe in annoyed at first sight.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has shared:

A gender-neutral equivalent of ‘sugar daddy’ is glucose guardian.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has copied:

The smarter you are, the more important it is for you to figure out how to think less.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has shared:

I was living in the moment until I was evicted.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has shared:

Fog. When nature is too lazy to load the complete environment.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has copied:

I told all my neighbors that I have a twin, so that when I see them in public I don’t have to talk to them.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has downloaded:

Welcome to your 50’s. Your doctor and pharmacist are both in your contacts now.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has bookmarked:

I’m far too underqualified for adult life, and I feel like I was promoted to manager far too quickly.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

816 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,978

Funny Quotes Topics

13,919

Funny Quotes Images

10,978

20 minutes ago

3,433

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on X:

I don’t care if it’s AI or an immigrant, I desperately need someone to take my job, it’s killing me.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Sleeping is my drug, my bed is my dealer and my alarm is the police.

Trending via Telegram:

People delete their social media and start acting like they got a master’s degree in maturity.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Never vacuuming so I don’t disrupt my carpet’s natural micro biome.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Me watching any modern ad: How is this ad an ad for the thing it’s an ad for?

Just shared via Messenger:

Sure I collect antiques, if you count the late-century spices in my pantry.

Trending via Discord:

That uncontrollable urge to hurt myself and others when a film’s subtitles are slightly out of sync.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

In the 90s, you could tell who won the rap battle by who was still alive.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

You gotta ask people nowadays, are you single single, mad at your partner single, blocked single or single just in your head.

Shared recently on YouTube:

I can now see how sitting on a porch could fill an entire life.

Home » Funny Allowed Quotes » Page 2

19 Funny allowed quotes

More funny allowed quotes 👇

4 months ago
Share →: I don’t think astronauts should be allowed to come back. You made your choice.

Commentary:
"Once you launch into space, there's no turning back! 🚀🛸 Astronauts, you're on a one-way ticket to the galaxy now. Make the most of it! ⭐️🌌 #SpaceBoundForever"
5 months ago
Share →: If a ham is allowed to spiral then so am I.

Commentary:
"Life's too short to be a regular, non-spiraling human! 🌀 Dream big, swirl around, and embrace your inner ham! 🐷🤪"
5 months ago
Share →: People should be allowed to leave work early if they want to go see a movie.

Commentary:
"Of course! Watching movies counts as professional development, right? 🎥💼 After all, who wouldn't want to further their 'cinematic expertise' in the name of work-life balance? 🤓 #MovieBuffBenefits"
6 months ago
Share →: How long are you allowed to hide in the bathroom during family visits?

Commentary:
"Ah, the eternal question of bathroom hide-and-seek during family gatherings 🚽🙈 Remember, timing is key! Just make sure you don't emerge with a full-blown beard, or they might start to worry 😂 #BathroomEscapeArtist"
6 months ago
Share →: You should be allowed to leave work early if you are really in love.

Commentary:
"Who needs overtime when you've got true love waiting for you? 💕 Clocking out early for a date with destiny! ⏳🥰 #WorkaholicNoMore"
6 months ago
Share →: Men shouldn’t be allowed to download any app other than Wikipedia.

Commentary:
"Imagine a world where men could only swipe right on knowledge! 📚💡 No more endless scrolling through mindless apps, just endless learning opportunities. 🧠👨‍💻 Who needs dating apps when you have the wisdom of the world at your fingertips? 😂❤️ #KnowledgeIsPower"
6 months ago
Share →: People who work in retail should be allowed to slap a customer or two each Christmas, as a little treat.

Commentary:
"Imagine a jolly holiday season where retail workers get to sprinkle a little *slap* of cheer on those difficult customers. 🎁👋 Let's just say, it could add a whole new meaning to the phrase 'customer service with a *smack*!'"
6 months ago
Share →: If a girl sends you selfies and you don’t compliment her, she should be allowed to electrocute you.

Commentary:
"Let's hope her selfie game is shockingly good! ⚡️💁‍♀️ Remember, compliments are a girl's best defense against electrocution, folks! 😉 #selfieprotection"
6 months ago
Share →: You are allowed to be crazy as long as you are equally as hot.

Commentary:
"Remember, it's all about balance – the crazier you are, the hotter you should be! 🔥💃 Embrace your inner eccentricity with style and sass, because being a little bit crazy never hurt anyone… as long as you rock it with confidence! 😜💁‍♀️ #CrazyHot"

For even more funny allowed quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny allowed quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

816 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,978

Funny Quotes Topics

13,919

Funny Quotes Images

10,978

20 minutes ago

3,425

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇪 has viewed:

Welcome to your 40s. Your eyes are now like a camera someone doesn’t know how to focus.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has copied:

At what age do people actually meet up to play bingo? I’m ready.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has downloaded:

There’s no way the Scooby Doo gang never found a dead body.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has viewed:

My opinion of the American education system is largely based on how many nuggets I get when I order a ten piece.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has bookmarked:

“You’re a psychopath!” At least I’m on a path, babe, sort your life out.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has viewed:

Don’t study, get slutty!

Someone from 🇻🇨 has downloaded:

I don’t get treadmills, I mean if I walk I better reach somewhere.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has copied:

Why socialize when you could party inside your room with your 10+ personalities?

Someone from 🇧🇬 has bookmarked:

I miss when bills were none of my business.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has bookmarked:

Hey, boy, are you the worst-case scenario? Because you’re all I think about.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Pinterest:

Too poor for Ozempic but too undisciplined for strict diet and exercise. Is there a secret third option?

Shared recently on Twitch:

Ever since I was a little girl, I knew I’d grow up to be a weird freak.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Thinking the bodega owner likes you is exactly the same as thinking the stripper likes you.

Spotted on Threads:

Nothing like waking up on a Friday and finding out it’s Tuesday.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Descibe your boobs only using a picture of them.

Spotted on Snapchat:

My boyfriend invited the neighbors over for dinner, “sometime,” so now we have to move.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Just blocked everyone who is not in my gang so if you’re reading this, we’re robbing a bank in 12 minutes.

Broadcasted on Discord:

When you try to be humble and say it’s no big deal and they agree with you.

Seen just now on Slack:

No one my age is single because they’re all unhappily married.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Scams used to be like “free money!” and now they’re like “hello, we have a job for you”, which seems to be a bad sign.

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