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Someone from πŸ‡·πŸ‡Ό has shared:

Every family needs a delusional daughter who is ambitious about relieving all her family’s struggles solely by winning the lottery one day.

Someone from πŸ‡΅πŸ‡¦ has downloaded:

I’m not mad, I just hope your socks slide off in your shoe all day.

Someone from πŸ‡»πŸ‡³ has shared:

He thinks I’m so smart because I read books. Baby, they is FAWKING in these books.

Someone from πŸ‡°πŸ‡ͺ has bookmarked:

My gf doesn’t really like it when I talk about my ex, which means I now have a lot of stories from college where I’m just alone for some reason.

Someone from πŸ‡·πŸ‡Ί has downloaded:

I’m chronically online in a different and more sophisticated way than you are.

Someone from πŸ‡ͺπŸ‡ͺ has shared:

An email so annoying, you wanna return the computer to the store.

Someone from πŸ‡¬πŸ‡© has downloaded:

I think there’s a size limit on engagement rings before they look tacky, to me.

Someone from πŸ‡·πŸ‡΄ has copied:

In an effort to keep our house clean before Thanksgiving, I’ve asked my family to go live somewhere else.

Someone from πŸ‡©πŸ‡Ώ has viewed:

How can I be ready for the future when I’m not even ready to get up in the morning?

Someone from πŸ‡ΉπŸ‡¬ has shared:

Christmas combines two things I love the most, getting fat and lying to children.

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

96 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,690

Funny Quotes Topics

16,895

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14,690

Updated

Dec 1, 2025

Users Online

3,605

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Shared recently on Threads:

You know who’s gonna love you in the end? Your dog.

Going viral on Telegram:

You are what you eat! (If anyone needed more encouragement to eat the rich.)

Going viral on Instagram:

Turns out I’m not an afternoon person either.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

The worst part of online shopping is having to get up and get your card out of your wallet.

Going viral on TikTok:

Forget Spotify Wrapped. How many minutes did you spend listening to your girlfriend this year?

Spotted on WeChat:

My neighbor told me he heard me having sex this morning. I was putting on my shoes.

Live now on X:

Whoever removed the 30th and 31st from February, come get the 14th too.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Breaking up is fine, but logging me out of your Netflix is crazy.

Going viral on X:

Thoughts more intrusive than a 90s sitcom neighbor.

Spotted on Slack:

My body is a machine that turns pizza into diarrhea.

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Welcome to Wordgag! πŸ˜‰βœŒοΈ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. πŸ˜‚πŸ’₯

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Trending Topics πŸ“

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

96 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,690

Funny Quotes Topics

16,895

Funny Quotes Images

14,690

Updated

Dec 1, 2025

Users Online

3,559

Funny Quotes of the Month πŸš€

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡³πŸ‡¦ has downloaded:

According to my kids’ Christmas lists, they think this parenting gig pays pretty well.

Someone from πŸ‡ͺπŸ‡¨ has bookmarked:

Here’s a fun activity you can do with your kids on rainy days when they have too much energy: Go shopping and leave them at home with their dad.

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡» has downloaded:

I want a girlfriend so hot that people walking down the street know that I am funny.

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡© has shared:

Today my coworker asked if I wanted to hold her new baby and neither of us were prepared for me saying why?

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡§ has shared:

There is a reason I’m single and it’s called my face.

Someone from πŸ‡±πŸ‡Έ has downloaded:

Not a fan of frozen pizza. Too cold, in my opinion.

Someone from πŸ‡¦πŸ‡Ώ has copied:

Waffles are just pancakes with convenient boxes to hold your syrup.

Someone from πŸ‡©πŸ‡² has downloaded:

Presumably, if you had a time machine, you could just kill young adult Hitler. The baby part seems gratuitous.

Someone from πŸ‡¬πŸ‡§ has downloaded:

When my cat gets in trouble I call him by his full name, Catthew.

Someone from πŸ‡¬πŸ‡Ύ has viewed:

I was having a great Friday until I found out it was Thursday.

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Just landed via Pinterest:

Went to the grocery store hungry. I didn’t need to pay rent this month anyway.

Trending via TikTok:

I was blinded by a goddamn deer with a shiny red nose… No, officer, I haven’t been drinking.

Making waves on Telegram:

I honestly have no idea what a vitamin is. It’s in a banana but it’s also the sun? Sure.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

β€œDo it scared!” Thanks, but I have done everything scared. When is it my turn to do it calm?

Going bananas on Snapchat:

Sometimes I wish I was an octopus, so I could slap eight people at once.

Just landed via Facebook:

I love to sleep, I wish I could get paid to sleep.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

I bet aliens lock their door when they go past earth.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

I live in constant fear that some douchebag is going to show up to a bonfire with a guitar.

Spotted on Twitch:

I don’t approve of political jokes. I’ve seen what happens when they get elected.

Live now on Messenger:

Whenever someone tells me how well behaved my kids are, I say it’s cause they’re not at home.

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