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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇩 has shared:

Me, watching porn: they’re just going to let that pizza get cold?

Someone from 🇭🇺 has downloaded:

Called in, “Taking a gap year.”

Someone from 🇰🇳 has bookmarked:

Are you in love with me yet or do I have to post another Spotify link?

Someone from 🇩🇪 has shared:

Two of the best things in life are laughing and orgasms. I want to make you do both a lot.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has bookmarked:

People who say that they don’t have time for my bullshit should wake up an hour earlier.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has viewed:

“Nothing burger” is such a funny phrase. Americans when nothing: so imagine a burger.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has downloaded:

Behind every strong, independent woman… is a dog that follows her to the bathroom.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has copied:

The lion does not concern himself with divorce papers.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has downloaded:

Someone told me I wasn’t thinking clearly, as if that’s even an option.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has viewed:

I told a joke to my boss, and he must have found it really funny because now I get to tell it to HR.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,548

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Messenger:

You know what I never see anymore are those old alcoholics with the weird noses.

Live now on TikTok:

The free hotel blow-dryer should be easier to get off the bathroom wall.

Live now on Slack:

Tinder, but for nearby people that have a printer you can use.

Just landed via WeChat:

The future is buffering.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Always be kind. You never know who has a pool.

Shared recently on Messenger:

What age will I grow out of not answering the door when I’m home and sneaking around the house to find out who’s knocking?

Shared recently on Threads:

Many greetings from my coffee. Y’all are talking too much again.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Netflix will help you finish the name of the movie you’re typing, and then tell you they don’t have it.

Breaking via Instagram:

If you only watched reality TV dating shows, you would probably estimate the number of people who work in medical device sales in the United States to be approximately 80,000,000.

Just shared via Discord:

I learned that when dogs lean against you it’s their version of hugging and now every time my dog leans against me my eyes start leaking.

209 Funny daily quotes

More funny daily quotes 👇

Some people are living bowel movement to bowel movement.

1 week ago

bowel, bowel movement, daily, daily routine, humor, life, living, movement, people, routine
I wear a lot of clothes for someone who hates doing laundry.

1 week ago

clothes, daily, daily life, doing, fashion, humor, i, laundry, life, lot, procrastination, someone, wear
Walking that line between “The internet is great” and “The internet is a mistake” daily.

1 week ago

contradiction, daily, daily struggle, feelings, great, humor, internet, life, line, mistake, mixed, mixed feelings, online, online life, struggle, walking
Imagine hating me, and I’m just here unloading my dishwasher.

1 week ago

attitude, chore, daily, daily chore, dishwasher, hate, here, humor, imagine, just, me, sarcasm, unloading
No better feeling than getting home and realizing you forgot the one thing you went out for.

1 week ago

better, daily, daily life, errands, feeling, forgetfulness, forgot, frustration, funny moment, getting, home, humor, life, mistake, moment, realization, relatable, thing
Wake up, there’s overthinking to be done.

1 week ago

activity, daily, daily routine, done, humor, mental, mental activity, overthinking, procrastination, routine, sarcasm, wake, waking, waking up
Daily reminder that you’re biologically programmed to get laid, eat good food, connect with other humans, and enjoy yourself. Everything else is literally made up.

1 week ago

advice, biologically, biology, connect, connection, daily, eat, else, enjoy, enjoyment, everything, food, fun, good, human, human connection, humans, humor, laid, life, life advice, literally, motivation, reminder, yourself
Forgetting to put jewelry and perfume on is literally the worst feeling.

1 week ago

accessory, beauty, care, daily, daily routine, fashion, feeling, forgetting, humor, jewelry, literally, perfume, personal, personal care, put, routine, worst
It feels like it costs $100 a day just to exist anymore.

1 week ago

cost, costs, daily, daily expense, day, exist, existence, expense, feels, financial, financial struggle, humor, inflation, just, money, struggle
Beginning my getting out of bed journey this morning.

1 week ago

bed, beginning, daily, daily routine, getting, getting out of bed, humor, journey, morning, routine

For even more funny daily quotes, hit next 👇

All funny daily quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

27 shares on X this month:

I think if you ask Kanye for a million at the right time, he’ll give it to you.

21 shares on Snapchat this month:

We need a Disney princess who’s a greedy profiteer, so we can cheer for the poison apple.

62 shares on Instagram this month:

You can just comment, “You two look nice,” on a photo of three people. It’s free and legal.

92 shares on Discord this month:

Whoever came up with the spelling for “receipt” was an idiopt.

68 shares on X this month:

Traffic is the fault of the guy immediately in front of you.

83 shares on Reddit this month:

I could low-key really use a wish right now.

10 shares on Twitch this month:

Trying to watch a superhero movie without stressing about the infrastructure damage to the city.

44 shares on Instagram this month:

I drive safer when there’s food in my passenger’s seat than when there’s a person sitting there.

96 shares on WhatsApp this month:

This year has been the perfect blend of me losing my mind and having the time of my life.

14 shares on WhatsApp this month:

No president next term. America needs to be single for a while to focus on herself.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇶 has shared:

When I get the vibe from someone that fitting in is super important to them my first instinct is to bite them.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has copied:

She took all my money, called me fat, AND stabbed me in the arm. I hate doctor appointments.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has bookmarked:

Betrayal is when you’re holding a baby, and they put their arms out for someone else.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has shared:

Late replies don’t bother me. As long as we’re not in love, or you don’t owe me money, take your time.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has downloaded:

Any fool can criticize, condemn and complain, and most do.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has bookmarked:

How bad can a decision really be if nobody from the future shows up to stop you?

Someone from 🇧🇴 has copied:

Sorry about all the mean stuff I said when I was right.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has shared:

Cats clean themselves with their little fish breath mouths, but somehow they always smell like laundry detergent, vanilla, and happiness.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has shared:

Respect people who wear glasses because they paid money to see you.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has shared:

I love ketchup from my head to-ma-toes.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on X:

I typed my name into Google’s search bar and it immediately auto-filled to “Doesn’t even listen to instructions” before crashing under the weight of disappointed search results.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Oh, you’re extending your sale? Your Black Friday sale that ended on Tuesday? You’re extending it?

Shared recently on Reddit:

Haggis – the meal you have to stomach twice.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

I get jealous when I find someone playing a song I thought only I knew.

Making waves on TikTok:

Everyone’s a gangster until they turn a spoon the wrong way under running water.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

If a girl sends you selfies and you don’t compliment her, she should be allowed to electrocute you.

Spotted on WeChat:

Coffee is better when you have no work.

Going viral on WeChat:

Men are like dogs. They’re actually cute, but having my own would be too much work for me.

Making waves on Reddit:

“Gen Z is having less sex.” It’s always sex, sex, sex with these people.

Breaking via Messenger:

Dear life, when I said “can this day get any worse” it was a rhetorical question, not a challenge.

Activity Log ✨

209 Funny daily quotes

More funny daily quotes 👇

All funny daily quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨