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64 Funny daily quotes

At bedtime, I ceremonially move the claw clip from my hair to the bag of chips, signifying the end of the day.

3 months ago

I woke up deciding to incorporate the parkour lifestyle into my daily life then reconsidered as I fell over again putting my jeans on.

3 months ago

My morning routine includes 20 minutes of staring at the ceiling thinking about how tired I am and debating if I really need to live today.

3 months ago

I’m retired. I was tired yesterday and I’m tired again today.

3 months ago