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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇨 has bookmarked:

Thank you all for attending my final rose ceremony. There will be no roses.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has viewed:

There should be a “Take Your Friend to Work Day,” so we can actually see what our friends do all day and meet the characters from all their work stories.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has viewed:

Adulting is making a phone call, even though you don’t want to.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has bookmarked:

Fruit and vegetables expire faster when you’re the one paying for them.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has bookmarked:

If you look close enough, everyone is insane.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has viewed:

You can’t keep running away from your problems, you’re getting older and your kids are getting faster.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has viewed:

Unlike the stomach, the brain doesn’t alert you when it’s empty.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has downloaded:

Enjoy the time between diapers!

Someone from 🇸🇩 has bookmarked:

Drinking coffee because throwing chairs at people is frowned upon.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has downloaded:

For my birthday, I want everyone to delete whatever old version of me they have in their head— it expired.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

531 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,124

Funny Quotes Topics

17,272

Funny Quotes Images

15,124

Dec 27, 2025

3,982

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Messenger:

People who take two steps on the stairs are both active and lazy at the same time.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

They say 30 is the new 20, and 40 the new 30. All I know is 9 p.m. is the new midnight.

Just shared via Pinterest:

I appreciate the interest, but I’m officially removing myself from the running to be the next James Bond. Thank you for your understanding.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

“This too shall pass!” Okay, but like, when exactly?

Making waves on Threads:

We need a Disney princess who’s a greedy profiteer, so we can cheer for the poison apple.

Shared recently on Reddit:

We’re living in increasingly unfergalicious times.

Breaking via Reddit:

One time, when I was a kid, I fell off my bike and hit my head so hard, I was briefly able to communicate with bees.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

One day you’re young and fun and the next you’re searching “Thanksgiving recipes that won’t cause heartburn.”

Just shared via Twitch:

I don’t usually think about what I say before I say it. I prefer to think about it after I’ve said it, late at night, for the rest of my life.

Trending via Threads:

If I like cleaning? Does Sisyphus like his boulder?

Home » Funny Decisions Quotes

23 Funny decisions quotes

Funny decisions quotes bring a burst of laughter to those moments when choices go hilariously wrong or surprisingly right 😂✨ Whether you’ve picked the weirdest snack or said yes to a wild adventure, these witty words capture the chaos of decision-making perfectly 🤪💡 Get ready to smile, relate, and maybe rethink your next move with a little humor on your side! 🎉🧐

New funny decisions quotes 👇

Every morning I wake up and make the worst possible time management decisions anyone has ever made.

0

1 month ago

anyone, decision, decisions, ever, every, humor, i, management, morning, procrastination, self-deprecation, time, time management, wake, wake up, worst, worst decision
All this overthinking, and I still make the worst decisions.

0

2 months ago

decision, decisions, humor, i, overthinking, self-deprecating, still, worst, worst decision
Have I made bad decisions when I was drunk? Sure. But have the sober ones been any better? Not really.

0

2 months ago

alcohol, bad, bad choice, better, choice, decision, decision making, decisions, drink, drink humor, drunk, drunk decision, humor, i, making, ones, self-deprecation, sober, sober decision, sure
Peer pressure has nothing on me; all my bad decisions are made single-handedly.

0

2 months ago

bad, bad decision, choice, confidence, decision, decisions, humor, independence, me, nothing, peer, peer pressure, pressure, rebellious, self-reliance, solo, solo choice
I just read a thing that said I should compliment myself on my decisions, regardless of the outcome. No thanks, I’m not the government.

0

2 months ago

compliment, confidence, decision, decision making, decisions, government, humor, i, independence, just, making, myself, outcome, read, said, sarcasm, self-compliment, self-esteem, should, thanks, thing
There should be guide dogs that prevent you from making bad decisions.

0

2 months ago

bad, bad decision, decision, decision making, decisions, dog, dogs, funny suggestion, guide, guide dog, humor, humorous, humorous idea, idea, making, prevent, should, suggestion
Almost all of my bad decisions are food-related.

0

2 months ago

almost, bad, bad decision, decision, decisions, eating, food, humor, lifestyle, relatable, self-deprecating
I be like, “Who’s praying on my downfall?” as if I don’t make self-destructive life decisions.

0

2 months ago

confidence, decision, decisions, downfall, humor, humor quote, i, irony, life, life decision, praying, self-awareness, self-deprecating
It’s never too early to start making bad decisions.

0

2 months ago

advice, bad, bad decision, decision, decisions, early, early start, humor, life, life advice, making, never, procrastination, start, too
Waiting for my wife to approve my new year’s resolution of making independent decisions.

0

2 months ago

approval, decision, decisions, humor, independent, independent decision, making, new, new year, resolution, waiting, wife, year

For even more funny decisions quotes, hit next 👇

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🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Social Media Stars ⭐

20 shares on Facebook this month:

Children will see a neatly hanging dish towel and be like oh hell no.

97 shares on Threads this month:

If you only watched reality TV dating shows, you would probably estimate the number of people who work in medical device sales in the United States to be approximately 80,000,000.

17 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Spotify: enjoy the next 30 minutes commercial free. Also Spotify: we have no concept of time.

60 shares on Pinterest this month:

It’s okay, facial recognition. I don’t recognize myself anymore either.

97 shares on YouTube this month:

My my husband’s favorite thing is when I blame him for losing something that’s actually in my hand.

71 shares on Threads this month:

I’m going to sleep. Anyone want anything?

33 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I found there was only one way to look thin: hang out with fat people.

39 shares on Twitch this month:

I generally don’t know what the hell I’m doing, but I’m really good at it.

73 shares on Threads this month:

Full-time employment will have you making lists of thoughts to think.

71 shares on Messenger this month:

I’ve got midlife crises older than you.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Laptops become possessed with slowness when they see that you are in a hurry.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve got 50 minutes to make it look like I’ve been flossing for the last 6 months.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I have no idea how people meet at the gym. I turn into a disgusting, angry swamp witch every time I exercise.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Well, like I said to my television the other day, “How can these people be so stupid?!?”

17 folks are currently checking 👀

To get my cat to eat, I tell him about all the hungry cats in Catfrica.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Twitter needs a button that’s “bring back that tweet I was just starting to read before you automatically refreshed.”

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Careful, “friend”. One more word about Shakira and you might find out just how fast I can draw this blade.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Literally no one understands something more completely than a woman in a meeting who starts a question with “Just so I understand …”

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Might quit my job to focus on actually putting away my laundry.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Is it possible to die of horniness? Asking for a friend.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

531 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,124

Funny Quotes Topics

17,272

Funny Quotes Images

15,124

Updated

Dec 27, 2025

Users Online

3,713

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇬 has downloaded:

“Unavailable” is my favorite state to be in.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has shared:

Relationships: Because sometimes destroying your life is a two person job.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has bookmarked:

I’m a little too self-aware to enjoy life, and a little too delusional to give up.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has viewed:

Ruining the Olympics for my fiancée by, every time they mention Paris, saying, “that’s where Ratatouille lived”.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has bookmarked:

Canceled a date for a date with another guy, and that guy canceled. It’s what I deserve.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has downloaded:

And to my children, I leave 127 open tabs on Safari.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has downloaded:

You should get a pension for having to go to school for so many years.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has shared:

Holding this fart in feels like I’m pregnant with a dinosaur.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has viewed:

I’m old enough to remember when FIFA was about kicking balls, not sucking them.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has copied:

Whoever thinks money doesn’t buy happiness can deposit it in my bank account.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Cookbook, but each recipe includes a photo of all the dishes that need to be cleaned after making it.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Got the zoomies at work, and now HR is chasing me around with a butterfly net.

Live now on Messenger:

You’re so productive for your wage.

Spotted on Twitch:

A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I’m afraid of widths.

Just shared via Snapchat:

The list of women who haven’t slept with me is really impressive.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Wanna perform obscene blood rituals under the full moon, or nah?

Broadcasted on Threads:

Let’s see how long my Monday slump lasts this time. Last week it was until Friday.

Making waves on Messenger:

When I was a kid, I never expected the future to suck this much.

Just shared via Snapchat:

I run a parody bank account.

Going bananas on Telegram:

Reverse cowgirl so I can bend backward and look at him like the Exorcist.

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