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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇲 has copied:

“I saw your ex!” A very unnecessary piece of information.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has viewed:

I love the smell of freshly brewed delusions in the morning.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has downloaded:

Why would I go to my high school reunion? I didn’t want to be there the first time.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has bookmarked:

Anyone want to fall in love and split rent?

Someone from 🇸🇬 has shared:

I am absolutely delicious, and I hate how mosquitoes know it.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has downloaded:

It’s Monday again and I’m about to make it everyone’s problem.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has bookmarked:

When intelligence meets empathy and kindness, it’s so sexy.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has viewed:

I caught two kids smoking pot outside my office. Fifteen minutes later, my boss caught me and two kids smoking pot outside my office.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has viewed:

Never underestimate my ability to stare out a window and not speak for hours on a car ride.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has shared:

Ever thought about centaurs and how the bottom half would start walking immediately after birth but the top part would be baby-like and flop around for a while.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,579

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Pinterest:

A long time ago, being crazy meant something. Nowadays, everybody is crazy.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

I’m equally comfortable holding a guitar as I am holding a baby, I just hold them both by the neck.

Going viral on Messenger:

I concern myself with the opinions of sheep because they are cute.

Broadcasted on Slack:

No matter how sad their story is, don’t let anybody move into your house.

Going viral on Slack:

I have consumed so much potato salad the last couple of days, I’m sweating mayo.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

Golf would be more exciting to watch if they played naked.

Going viral on Messenger:

I’m capable of doing a lot of things but listening to people chew their food is not one of them.

Just landed via TikTok:

Am I just getting older, or are people getting more annoying?

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Spotify Wrapped isn’t enough, I want an Excel spreadsheet of my listening habits.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

I tried yoga once. I pulled a hamstring and my dignity.

23 Funny decisions quotes

Funny decisions quotes bring a burst of laughter to those moments when choices go hilariously wrong or surprisingly right 😂✨ Whether you’ve picked the weirdest snack or said yes to a wild adventure, these witty words capture the chaos of decision-making perfectly 🤪💡 Get ready to smile, relate, and maybe rethink your next move with a little humor on your side! 🎉🧐

New funny decisions quotes 👇

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All funny decisions quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

37 shares on Instagram this month:

I try to shoot all of my garbage into outer space, but usually it just lands in my neighbor’s backyard.

43 shares on Snapchat this month:

My body is like my phone battery. Usually drained by 4pm.

34 shares on X this month:

Not just anyone can be cremated. You have to urn it.

77 shares on TikTok this month:

Growing your own tomatoes really is the best way to devote 3 months of your life to saving $2.17.

95 shares on Messenger this month:

Fish must think we look so weird with both eyes on the front of our face.

51 shares on Facebook this month:

Remember, if you start with, “It’s crazy to think…” you can say whatever you want.

96 shares on X this month:

Vaginally speaking, he seems nice.

47 shares on Threads this month:

I’m never wrong. Just different levels of right.

27 shares on Slack this month:

You know you’re old when you you barely do anything all day, but still need a nap to continue doing barely anything.

19 shares on Facebook this month:

On the next episode of Hoarders, they visit my subconscious.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

21 folks are currently checking 👀

One of the main reasons to drink tea is because you can say, ‘Let me put the kettle on,’ and stuff like that.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Scared to go on dates, cause what if I find the one and never be able to be single again.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Everyone is gangster until they’re asked to reveal a “fun fact” about themself as part of a work event icebreaker.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m just a girl looking for another snack.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Don’t worry. Artificial intelligence will never replace actual ignorance.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

“The only thing standing between you and your dreams is you!” Yeah, have you met me? That’s gonna be a problem.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t think either person should pay for the first date. It should be on the house.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Lost my Thesaurus. Gutted. Really gutted. Like absolutely gutted.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

WhatsApp calls should indicate whose internet is poor to avoid unnecessary arguments.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

“I’ve never met a medical receptionist that I believed wanted me to live.”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,716

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇲 has downloaded:

People be like, “I’m a work in progress” and never make any progress.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has viewed:

I hate when people ask me: “Why are you so quiet?” Because I am. That’s how I function. I don’t ask others, “Why do you talk so much?” It’s rude.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has bookmarked:

Once this pandemic ends, I’m legit quitting video games and getting a girlfriend for real.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has shared:

Have you ever been in the car with someone who drives like we got extra lives?

Someone from 🇧🇹 has downloaded:

There’s no bigger test of patience than typing your email address in on a TV with the remote.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has bookmarked:

You can add “cha cha cha” to any sentence you want without explaining yourself. Nobody really appreciates this.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has viewed:

This cannot be the cost of living after Jesus paid it all.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has viewed:

You have been a very bad boy. Now go to my room!

Someone from 🇸🇿 has downloaded:

One time, when I was a kid, I fell off my bike and hit my head so hard, I was briefly able to communicate with bees.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has shared:

I know I’m mad when I start talking to myself about it.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Messenger:

I made coffee and carried it to the couch. I’ve done everything I had planned for this Sunday.

Trending via Slack:

If my calculator had a history, it would be more embarrassing than my browser history.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

I miss when my biggest problem was whether my Happy Meal toy matched the one from the commercial.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Don’t forget to overestimate your importance today.

Breaking via TikTok:

Putting your wedding scrapbook in the little free library is an unprecedented level of divorced.

Going viral on Slack:

I wish I could put an AirTag on my sanity.

Spotted on Reddit:

Singing in the shower is fun until you get soap in your mouth. Then it’s a soap opera.

Spotted on Slack:

I wonder if the guy who came up with the term “One Hit Wonder” came up with any other phrases?

Freshly posted on Facebook:

My favorite part of the Bible is when Jesus says to put a cross emoji and a Bible verse in your bio, and then call people slurs on the internet.

Just shared via Threads:

Just let your girlfriend be crazy, like who cares, bro.

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