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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡³πŸ‡ͺ has downloaded:

Thank god I played a lot of Tetris as a kid or I never would have been able to get everything into the freezer.

Someone from πŸ‡±πŸ‡° has bookmarked:

Sorry, I ghosted you. I liked you too much.

Someone from πŸ‡ΉπŸ‡Ό has copied:

Why is it called the Super Bowl if no one is bowling?

Someone from πŸ‡ΉπŸ‡΄ has shared:

Men used to smoke Marlboros. Now they cry when they lose their strawberry cheesecake vape.

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡΄ has shared:

I need to go back to Friday. I want to do my weekend differently.

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡² has copied:

If you are lonely, dim all lights and put on a horror movie. After a while it won’t feel like you are alone anymore.

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡¬ has viewed:

We should all start texting each other like old time explorers. ‘Dearest friend, I have survived another week. The horrors persist.’

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡Ή has copied:

I love sarcasm. It’s like punching people in the face, but with words.

Someone from πŸ‡΅πŸ‡ͺ has downloaded:

You should be able to call in sad to work.

Someone from πŸ‡¬πŸ‡² has copied:

Who called it a Cybertruck and not a Deplorean?

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,278

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Broadcasted on X:

My neighbor is having some kind of party and didn’t invite me. I guess I have to call the cops again.

Live now on Twitch:

Super excited for a brand new week of hoping for the best, but expecting the worst.

Just landed via Snapchat:

At the end of the day, the day is going to end.

Trending via Instagram:

Don’t drink to forget me, you’ll end up seeing me double.

Making waves on X:

Oh you won a gold medal at the Olympics? My watch just congratulated me for standing up.

Just shared via Threads:

A toddler can do more in one unsupervised minute than most people can do all day.

Live now on WhatsApp:

It must be hard to be a rapper knowing at any moment your enemies may make beautiful poems about you.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

I’ve done the math and I regret to inform you I’m your soulmate.

Shared recently on Discord:

Instead of writing letters, let’s wait a week before texting each other back so it still feels like it.

Trending via Slack:

Apparently, responding to a wedding invitation with “maybe next time” is wrong. I know that now.

30 Funny divorce quotes

Funny divorce quotes offer a light-hearted perspective on the end of relationships. πŸ’”πŸ˜„ From witty remarks about post-divorce life to playful jabs at the complexities of splitting up, these quotes bring humor to a challenging experience. Enjoy a laugh and appreciate the humor in navigating life’s transitions! πŸ’”πŸ˜„

New funny divorce quotes πŸ‘‡

For even more funny divorce quotes, hit next πŸ‘‡

All funny divorce quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes πŸ‘Œ

Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

91 shares on WeChat this month:

I need something good to watch while I’m on my phone.

29 shares on Reddit this month:

I hate when people are like “you are so nice”. I’m ugly, I have no other choice.

91 shares on Telegram this month:

Just did my best horse impression and the doctor still won’t give me ketamine.

39 shares on YouTube this month:

I like that linguists chose the term ‘loan words,’ implying that one day we’ll get them back.

60 shares on TikTok this month:

You’re my least favourite notification.

26 shares on Twitch this month:

I heard time is money, so I quit my job. Now I have lots of time!

80 shares on Threads this month:

If it turns cold one more time, I’m gonna put the Christmas tree back up.

99 shares on LinkedIn this month:

WhatsApp needs to remove that β€œthis message was deleted” notification. It’s unnecessary drama.

97 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I was just viciously body shamed by my mirror.

88 shares on Messenger this month:

Unfortunately for everyone, I will keep doing whatever I want.

Trending Topics πŸ“

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes πŸ’₯

9 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I have a very particular set of useless skills.

15 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Sorry, babe, can’t right now. The group chat is active, and I’m trying to get my joke in before they change topics.

7 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Does everyone’s inner monologue have a laugh track?

9 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Sure, money can’t buy happiness, but it can definitely buy a jet ski… and have you ever seen a sad person on a jet ski?

20 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Just imagine if farting were as contagious as yawning.

15 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

ASAP can also mean as slow as possible.

12 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I don’t want to end this year on bad terms with anybody. Could you please apologize to me?

7 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

No, I don’t like nature. I can’t respect anything that would so flippantly turn dinosaurs into birds.

23 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

The way some people hold their cell phone to make a call, I always think they’re trying to take a bite out of a sandwich.

16 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I would never put up a lost dog poster. I’m not letting the whole neighborhood know I fumbled.

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,584

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡¬πŸ‡Ύ has copied:

It was so hot today, I thought I was going to be cremated.

Someone from πŸ‡¬πŸ‡Ά has downloaded:

Hey, people, my age. Remember going into the computer lab at school?

Someone from πŸ‡±πŸ‡§ has viewed:

The more I parent the more convinced I am that the ears on toddlers are purely for decoration.

Someone from πŸ‡¬πŸ‡© has bookmarked:

If I was ever told to β€œdress to impress”, my first thought would be to get the Batman suit out.

Someone from πŸ‡ΏπŸ‡Ό has viewed:

The man who invented the Ferris wheel never met the man who invented the merry-go-round. They traveled in different circles.

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡³ has downloaded:

I would like you to meet my significant other. Her name is Cheese.

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡Ή has viewed:

A good man is hard to find, but a babysitter for Friday night is harder.

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡΄ has shared:

My five-year plan only requires a few acts of God.

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡« has viewed:

Girls take a picture of their legs in a bubble bath and say β€œguess where I am”. The library?

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡Ί has downloaded:

Sorry for the things I said when the internet was down for 10 minutes.

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Making waves on Instagram:

Gambling is all about getting something for nothing and spending thousands of dollars trying to do it.

Just landed via Telegram:

So apparently if they ask “do you trust me?”, replying with “well, I trust you to be you” is the incorrect response.

Spotted on Snapchat:

What if your dog one day just randomly said β€œNobody is going to believe you” and never spoke again.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Babies sighing is so funny to me. My dear, the time to sigh has not come.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Technically, all restaurants are drive-thru, it just depends how committed to the task you are.

Spotted on Twitch:

I just need to lie down for a couple of years.

Trending via Threads:

Give it to me straight, doc, what can I do to be healthier besides changing my entire lifestyle?

Breaking via TikTok:

My age no longer permits me to suffer for love, so if you see me sad, it’s due to lack of money.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

Imagine falling in love with me then finding out I’m a slow walker.

Shared recently on X:

It’s not getting better or worse, but rather a third mysterious thing.

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