Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇹 has downloaded:

Before they perfected the Q-tip, you have to wonder what kinds of horrific things went wrong with tips A-P.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has shared:

So, you’re telling me I’m just supposed to get up every day and keep living like this? Seems like a scam to me.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has bookmarked:

The man who invented autocorrect has died. Restaurant in peace.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has shared:

I love sleeping. You don’t spend any money and you don’t miss anyone.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has viewed:

My best friend is married and buying a house. I ate popcorn for dinner.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has bookmarked:

Washing mushrooms is the quickest way to figure out exactly how much dirt you’re okay with eating.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has shared:

I know there are bigger problems in the world right now, but I’ve just realized I’ve never seen a baby seagull.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has downloaded:

What’s the point of having sex dreams if you always wake up just when it’s getting down to business?

Someone from 🇳🇴 has downloaded:

The prime minister is a minister that is not divisible by any other minister.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has viewed:

Remember when we were kids and did everything we could to grow up? We were so stupid!

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

786 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,948

Funny Quotes Topics

13,918

Funny Quotes Images

10,948

56 minutes ago

3,437

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Instagram:

In case no one told you today. I’m beautiful.

Trending via Facebook:

I have everything you could possibly ever need in my purse, except for money.

Reported on Snapchat:

Getting mad when an app updates and changes their format is the new “rearranged grocery store” for me.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Just remembered why I went upstairs yesterday.

Trending via Reddit:

The sole purpose of some household items is to make it impossible for you to open the damn drawer.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

You can have glossy lips or you can have a cat. You can’t have both.

Trending via Snapchat:

Sometimes I rock it as a parent, other times I drop my phone on my sleeping child while taking a picture of it. It’s called balance.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Because it is Friday, I will allow one beautiful woman to invite me for drinks.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Friendly reminder that someone having a different opinion about a movie than you is a direct attack on you as a person and you should take it very personally.

Going viral on Telegram:

The best thing about work is the coffee machine and the drive home.

Home » Funny Divorce Quotes

19 Funny divorce quotes

Funny divorce quotes offer a light-hearted perspective on the end of relationships. 💔😄 From witty remarks about post-divorce life to playful jabs at the complexities of splitting up, these quotes bring humor to a challenging experience. Enjoy a laugh and appreciate the humor in navigating life’s transitions! 💔😄

New funny divorce quotes 👇

20 hours ago
Share →: Putting your wedding scrapbook in the little free library is an unprecedented level of divorced.

Commentary:
That’s one way to share your fairy tale ending, plot twist included! 📚😂💔
1 week ago
Share →: Why would I get married when it’s a well-known fact that only 50% of all marriages end in divorce?

Commentary:
Guess I’ll just flip a coin before tying the knot 🤔💍😂
1 week ago
Share →: The one nice thing about your friends’ divorces is no one invites you to them.

Commentary:
Finally an event I don't have to make excuses for missing! 🎉🙌
1 week ago
Share →: For my next trick, I’ll need a divorce lawyer.

Commentary:
"Forget magic wands, this trick could really disappear some assets! 🪄💼💸🤣"
2 months ago
Share →: Divorcing my wife to focus on my porn addiction.

Commentary:
"Taking 'commitment issues' to a whole new level! 😂📚🔞"
2 months ago
Share →: The lion does not concern himself with divorce papers.

Commentary:
"When you're a lion, you just swipe right on life. 🦁✍️😂 #NoTimeForPapers"
4 months ago
Share →: I had 99 problems but getting divorced solved 98 of them.

Commentary:
"Who says breaking up can't be a win-win situation? 🙌 When life hands you lemons, sometimes divorce hands you the whole fruit basket! 🍋😂#ProblemSolved"
6 months ago
Share →: You don’t scare me, I was married once.

Commentary:
"Ah, the battle-tested warrior of relationships! 💪🏼💍 Who needs fear when you've survived the ultimate challenge? Take that, unknown adversaries! 😂 #MarriageWarrior"
6 months ago
Share →: Elections make you feel like we’re all in divorce court waiting to see who gets custody of us.

Commentary:
Ah, elections – the ultimate family drama on a national scale! 🤣 It's like we're all caught in the crossfire of a messy breakup, anxiously waiting to see who ends up with custody of our future. 🗳️💔 Let's just hope they don't make us choose between weekends and holidays! #ElectionDrama #CustodyBattle
6 months ago
Share →: Divorce is so weird. Why do I have an ex-aunt?

Commentary:
"Divorce really turns family trees into family shrubs. 🌳🪓 Having an ex-aunt is like owning a discontinued edition of a relative. 🤷‍♂️ It's all fun and games until the family reunion becomes a 'where are they now' episode." #AwkwardFamilyDynamics 😅

For even more funny divorce quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny divorce quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

786 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,948

Funny Quotes Topics

13,918

Funny Quotes Images

10,948

56 minutes ago

3,430

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇪 has bookmarked:

Sorry, Mom, I can’t go outside, I’m ugly.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has copied:

I treat people the way I want to be treated by not leaving the house.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has shared:

It should be illegal to take a nap and still have a headache when you wake up. Like, I shut it off and back on again, why are you still here?

Someone from 🇺🇬 has downloaded:

Babe, wake up, it’s stupid outside!

Someone from 🇸🇦 has viewed:

Can’t believe I didn’t get invited to that party I would have made up an excuse not to go to.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has downloaded:

And then there are those dates after which you think: “Have I really shaved my legs for this?”

Someone from 🇲🇦 has shared:

Get in loser. We’re going on a guilt trip.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has copied:

It’s like ten thousand spoons when all you need is a Like.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has copied:

I’ve been following this strict diet all week and so far all I’ve lost is my patience.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has shared:

At what age do I delete Snapchat?

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on YouTube:

Got my mind on my money and my money is nowhere to be found.

Breaking via Twitch:

Lifting my wife’s wedding veil and finding out she’s Darth Maul.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Odd—my boss told me to meet him at the abandoned quarry at midnight for my performance evaluation.

Just shared via YouTube:

Don’t ever forget where you came from. That’s where you left your car.

Breaking via Snapchat:

Not to brag, but I was unhinged way before it was cool.

Making waves on Telegram:

I would go out more if there weren’t any humans out there.

Breaking via Snapchat:

Me: This is my favorite. I would like to buy this exact same item of clothing again. The fashion industry: No.

Reported on Reddit:

Oligarchy sounds like something you dip your breadstick in at the olive garden.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

We hate the same people and it’s so romantic.

Going viral on Twitch:

Imagine hating me and I’m just over here hating myself.

Share Wordgag 🙏

© 2025. All fights retarded. 🤪

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴