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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇽 has shared:

Wanna perform obscene blood rituals under the full moon, or nah?

Someone from 🇬🇦 has shared:

King Kong should’ve been able to find a better place to hide than the top of the tallest building in the middle of New York City.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has downloaded:

When I’m drafting a legal document, I’ll sprinkle the word “herein” all over that thing like it’s paprika.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has downloaded:

Quitting my job to rock around the Christmas tree.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has bookmarked:

I think my boss is delusional; he keeps shaking his head and calls me Jesus Christ.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has bookmarked:

Might go to prison so I can focus on the gym properly.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has downloaded:

Clothes too dirty for the closet, but too clean for laundry. Welcome to: the chair.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has shared:

Everyone is fighting a battle you don’t know about, except for me. I am complaining loudly about my battle. Everybody knows about it.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has downloaded:

Walking that line between “The internet is great” and “The internet is a mistake” daily.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has shared:

“You look tired.” Yes, bro, I stayed up all night obsessing over things I have no control over.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

531 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,124

Funny Quotes Topics

17,272

Funny Quotes Images

15,124

Dec 27, 2025

3,611

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via LinkedIn:

I tried being the bigger person but all it got me was type 2 diabetes.

Shared recently on Slack:

The ugliest version of me is the version that comes out when I play board games. I don’t know who she is, but she is a monster. She is not fit for human interaction.

Spotted on TikTok:

After my funeral, I want one of my friends to take my phone and text everyone, “Thanks for coming.”

Broadcasted on Slack:

You can’t keep running away from your problems, you’re getting older and your kids are getting faster.

Just shared via Instagram:

Facebook is like a never-ending high school reunion.

Making waves on Snapchat:

It’s almost bed time, so I’ll just check my e-mail, Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, and watch a season of my favorite show on Netflix real quick.

Spotted on YouTube:

Always tell people different stories about yourself, so when they talk about you, they’ll argue.

Just landed via Twitch:

Men, it’s really simple. We want everything, but nothing, at the same time or different times, sometimes but not always.

Making waves on Discord:

Signing all emails with BOOM SHAKALAKA today.

Spotted on Messenger:

I’d be a terrible masseuse. After 5 minutes, I’d be like, “Okay, my turn.”

Home » Funny Divorce Quotes

30 Funny divorce quotes

Funny divorce quotes offer a light-hearted perspective on the end of relationships. 💔😄 From witty remarks about post-divorce life to playful jabs at the complexities of splitting up, these quotes bring humor to a challenging experience. Enjoy a laugh and appreciate the humor in navigating life’s transitions! 💔😄

New funny divorce quotes 👇

“I’m interested in the divorce rate for couples who sleep in queen versus king beds.”

0

1 week ago

bed, bed size, beds, couple, couples, divorce, divorce rate, interested, king, king bed, marriage, queen, queen bed, rate, relationship, size, sleep
The divorce rate among my socks is astonishing.

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2 weeks ago

among, clothing, divorce, divorce rate, humor, joke, rate, relationship, sock, socks
Being called by your real name in a relationship kinda sounds like a divorce.

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1 month ago

being, divorce, name, real, relationship, sounds
The divorce process is easier than breaking up with your hair stylist.

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1 month ago

break, break up, breaking, comparison, divorce, easier, hair, hair stylist, humor, process, relationship, stylist
Whoever said money can’t buy happiness, clearly never paid for a divorce.

0

2 months ago

buy, divorce, fee, happiness, humor, legal, legal fee, money, never, paid, payment, relationship, said
Let’s just call ourselves divorced now and skip the stressful, expensive bit in the middle.

0

2 months ago

bit, breakup, call, divorce, expense, expensive, humor, just, marriage, middle, relationship, skip, stress
Putting your wedding scrapbook in the little free library is an unprecedented level of divorced.

0

2 months ago

breakup, divorce, free, humor, joke, level, library, little, putting, relationship, scrapbook, unprecedented, wedding
Why would I get married when it’s a well-known fact that only 50% of all marriages end in divorce?

0

2 months ago

50, divorce, end, fact, humor, i, joke, marriage, married, only, relationship, satire, wedding, why
The one nice thing about your friends’ divorces is no one invites you to them.

0

2 months ago

divorce, event, friend, friends, humor, invitation, loneliness, nice, sarcasm, social, social event, thing
For my next trick, I’ll need a divorce lawyer.

0

2 months ago

divorce, divorce lawyer, humor, joke, lawyer, marriage, need, next, relationship, trick

For even more funny divorce quotes, hit next 👇

All funny divorce quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

68 shares on X this month:

“You like talking to yourself?” God forbid I seek advice from an expert.

68 shares on Reddit this month:

Not leaving the house and not having contact with other people. The punishments of my childhood are now my hobbies.

79 shares on Instagram this month:

If barking at nothing was an Olympic sport, my dog would win gold.

53 shares on Telegram this month:

Self-checkout is amazing for introverts until the machine breaks and two employees have to come fix it while you wait.

83 shares on Messenger this month:

Woke up and immediately broke my resolution to be less sexy this year.

100 shares on TikTok this month:

If at first you don’t succeed, the internet will let you know immediately.

37 shares on Reddit this month:

I predict the next world war will be artificial intelligence versus genuine stupidity.

28 shares on YouTube this month:

“Likes your story” is a declaration of love.

10 shares on LinkedIn this month:

A house doesn’t have to be haunted to scare me, I’ve seen the listing prices.

49 shares on WhatsApp this month:

My favorite part of fall is when the mosquitoes go back to hell.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Potato chips ARE vegetables! I exclaim as I tear open the third bag.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

A colon can completely change the meaning of a sentence. For example: Jill ate her friend’s sandwich VS Jill ate her friend’s colon.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

A hot coffee and a crispy bagel doesn’t change anything but it can’t hurt.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I love being left to my own devices. It’s like yeah, these are my devices.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Me summer vacation planning: I’m going to Europe. Bank account: You’re going camping.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

My chakra went out for cigarettes.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I call my period Shark week. I want to eat everything, I’m snapping at people, I feel huge, people are scared of me, and there is blood everywhere.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Why does tiredness on the couch not follow me to the bed?

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Sorry I slowed down but I had to calculate if the bridge could hold the weight of my car with all the stuffed animals my kids insisted on bringing on vacation.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I love jogging in this heat, cause the sweat hides my tears.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

531 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,124

Funny Quotes Topics

17,272

Funny Quotes Images

15,124

Updated

Dec 27, 2025

Users Online

3,718

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇪 has downloaded:

Who called them sea lions and not soggy doggies?

Someone from 🇦🇷 has downloaded:

Money talks, and also waves goodbye.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has downloaded:

Marry the man who treats your dumb questions like they’re NASA-level problems.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has viewed:

Accidentally used men’s shower gel today, and I can already feel myself lying for no reason.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has viewed:

It’s hard to believe that this long, crazy election will finally be over in a few months.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has downloaded:

Another day without sex, but a mosquito just sucked on my neck and I moaned a little bit.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has viewed:

One sec, lemme just find the off switch for my brain.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has copied:

I caught your husband cheating on you at an Alanis concert, and thought you, you, you oughta know.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has shared:

People just don’t stop, collaborate, and listen like they used to.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has viewed:

If you’re riding in my car, that little middle piece is for my elbow — not yours.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via YouTube:

I purposely overcook my holiday turkeys so I don’t have to hear anyone at the table say, “moist.”

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Having a job is cool, but everyday? Come on!

Just landed via LinkedIn:

They should invent a food that sounds good for dinner tonight.

Making waves on TikTok:

I’m at the age where I consider any picture of me taken in the last ten years “current.”

Shared recently on Instagram:

Thousands of years ago, cats were worshipped as gods. Cats have never forgotten this.

Just landed via Discord:

“I’m asking Santa to bring some of you a sense of humor for Christmas.”

Just shared via Twitch:

Tried online dating, and it turns out my soulmate is a Nigerian prince who needs my bank details to escape his kingdom.

Spotted on Snapchat:

I like how the Tooth Fairy got the job, and then subbed it out to everyone’s parents. That’s called “business savvy.”

Broadcasted on X:

Deleting dating apps to meet someone the old-fashioned way (in the HR department).

Just landed via Telegram:

The lioness does not concern herself with the pile of clothes she moves between bed and chair every day.

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