Funny quotes divorce

13 Funny divorce quotes

Funny divorce quotes offer a light-hearted perspective on the end of relationships. 💔😄 From witty remarks about post-divorce life to playful jabs at the complexities of splitting up, these quotes bring humor to a challenging experience. Enjoy a laugh and appreciate the humor in navigating life’s transitions! 💔😄

I had 99 problems but getting divorced solved 98 of them.

Funny Quotes Mar 21, 2025

You don’t scare me, I was married once.

Funny Quotes Jan 28, 2025

Elections make you feel like we’re all in divorce court waiting to see who gets custody of us.

Funny Quotes Jan 27, 2025

Divorce is so weird. Why do I have an ex-aunt?

Funny Quotes Jan 26, 2025

My friends wife threatened to leave him over his Star Wars collectibles and I was like “divorce is strong in this one”.

Funny Quotes Jan 26, 2025

75% of being a divorce lawyer is just answering emails from clients saying, “No. No. No. You absolutely cannot do that, no.”

Funny Quotes Jan 25, 2025

If my wife and I got divorced and moved to separate states, I’m convinced I would still hear her chewing.

Funny Quotes Jan 23, 2025

I had a hard time coping with the divorce. I’m fine now, but at first I was almost crazy with joy.

Funny Quotes Jan 23, 2025

I used to be a person who couldn’t easily fall asleep, then I got divorced and now I sleep like a baby. Probably unrelated.

Funny Quotes Jan 22, 2025

Most divorces are caused by a spouse eating potato chips while you try to watch TV.

Funny Quotes Jan 22, 2025

I’ve never been married, but I tell people I’m divorced so they won’t think something is wrong with me.

Funny Quotes Jan 22, 2025

I thought I needed a drink. Turns out what I really needed was a divorce.

Funny Quotes Jan 22, 2025

Instead of getting married again, I’m going to find a woman I don’t like and give her a house.

Funny Quotes Jan 21, 2025