27 Funny empty quotes

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Sitting next to you on an empty train and clicking my stopwatch every time you turn a page in your book.

  Commentary:
  Ah, the timeless art of blending creepiness with performance art on public transport 🚆⏱️📖 Who needs Netflix when you've got live-action psychological thriller unfolding right beside you? Just your daily dose of unexpected entertainment! Just remember, every page turn adds another tick towards literary suspense – or possibly a restraining order! 😂 #PassengerPeekaboo

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Me: God, please stop giving me your toughest battles. God: You just have to empty the dishwasher.

  Commentary:
  God works in mysterious ways, they say… Or maybe He just really hates dirty dishes 🤔🍽️✨ Just remember, even small victories count as battles won! 😉 #DivineDishwashing

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Staring sadly at the empty ice cream bowl that’s too small for licking.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the classic tale of tragedy in every spoonful… A heart-wrenching drama of unrequited ice cream love 😢🍦 Maybe it's time to upgrade to a bigger bowl or simply embrace the art of double-dipping! 😏 #IceCreamStruggles"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Can we all agree that Mini Cooper drivers need to put an extended flag on the back of their cars so the stalls where they’re parked stop looking empty?

  Commentary:
  "Mini Cooper drivers should come with a warning flag accessory for parking lots – it's like playing Where's Waldo but with tiny cars! 🚗🚩 #MiniCooperMystery"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: I hate when my cat runs into my bedroom and hisses at an empty chair, then runs back out again; and I then have to fall asleep holding a crucifix.

  Commentary:
  "Looks like your cat is just practicing its exorcism skills on the chair! 🐱😈 Who needs an alarm system when you have a feline ghostbuster on patrol? Just make sure to add garlic to your bedtime routine for extra protection! 😂🧄 #CatsOfTheParanormal"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Optimist: The glass is ½ full. Pessimist: The glass is ½ empty. Excel: The glass is January 2nd.

  Commentary:
  "Optimist: The glass is ½ full. Pessimist: The glass is ½ empty. Excel: The glass is January 2nd. 🥂💡 Always looking at things with a spreadsheet mindset – cheers to starting the year off right!"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: You’re an adult if you’re happy every time the mailbox is empty.

  Commentary:
  "Who needs bills and junk mail when you can blissfully avoid responsibilities? 📬😄 Welcome to the advanced level of adulthood – where an empty mailbox is the ultimate victory dance! 💃 #AdultingLikeAPro"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: This is not an empty room, this is a very successful anti-party.

  Commentary:
  Looks like this room is so exclusive, even the dust particles couldn't make it in! 🎉🚫 It's the ultimate anti-party, where even the walls are too cool to join in the fun! 😄✨

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Never understood why people train their dogs to sit pretty or roll over when there are useful tricks like empty the dishwasher or fold the laundry.

  Commentary:
  "Who needs a dog that can high-five when you can have one that can fold laundry like a pro? 🐕👚 Let's revolutionize dog training one chore at a time! 💪🐾 #DomesticatedSuperheroes"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: The best part about Smarties is pouring them into an empty prescription bottle and shaking them all into my mouth while waiting in line.

  Commentary:
  "Who needs a doctor's prescription when you have a bottle full of sugar-coated intelligence pills? 🤓💊 Warning: may cause sudden bursts of brilliance and questionable decision-making 😂 #SweetSmartiesAntics"

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