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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇯 has copied:

It doesn’t matter how old you are, when it starts thundering and lightning, you go and sit at the window to watch.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has viewed:

This simulation is no longer boring, since they replaced management.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has bookmarked:

Every retail employee should get to hit one customer a year and there is no way for customers to tell if they’ve used it yet.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has shared:

You don’t get to tell me what to do, you’re not my cat.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has shared:

No one watches your story faster than someone who doesn’t talk to you.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has downloaded:

I survived a Monday, and for what? Tuesday? Disgusting.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has bookmarked:

Why is there so much day left at the end of my patience?

Someone from 🇰🇬 has bookmarked:

First date idea: I lean in close and surprise you with a wet willy.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has bookmarked:

Not all angels are in heaven, me for example, I’m at work.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has downloaded:

An electric car is just another electric chair.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,437

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on YouTube:

To bed then. To bed with you! Guards, take him to my bed!

Broadcasted on Telegram:

If anyone needs me, I’ll be in this whirlpool of emotions over there.

Breaking via WeChat:

I’m a bit of a traditionalist, so on my birthday, I smear my body with embryonic fluid.

Making waves on Reddit:

Who called them cat allergies and not meowlergies?

Seen just now on Pinterest:

I bring a sort of “this isn’t actually urgent” vibe to the workplace that managers don’t like.

Going bananas on Reddit:

Embattled politicians resign saying they want to spend more time with their families. Do their families get a say in this?

Just shared via YouTube:

Funny that the Three Wise Men brought probably the three worst presents for a newborn baby.

Just landed via Facebook:

You’d be surprised how many times you can use the word succulent in a work email.

Spotted on Facebook:

My save-for-later cart on Amazon is up to about $1.5 million dollars.

Just shared via X:

The best piece of dating advice I’ve ever received is “If they like you, you’ll know. If they don’t, you’ll be confused.” Honestly, it’s all you need to know.

38 Funny empty quotes

More funny empty quotes 👇

The empty spot in your bed is for snacks, not liars.

4 weeks ago

bed, empty, honesty, humor, humor quote, liar, lover, playful, relationship, snack, snack lover, snacks, spot
The incontinent optimist sees the bladder as half empty.

4 weeks ago

bladder, empty, half, half empty, humor, irony, optimist, perspective
Zen and the Art of Empty Pockets.

4 weeks ago

art, comedy, empty, humor, irony, minimalism, money, pocket, pockets, satire, zen
Feminism convinced women they could have it all. Now they’re 40, independent, and crying in a very nice but empty apartment.

4 weeks ago

40, apartment, crying, empty, feminism, have it all, humor, independence, independent, nice, women
I think we all need to go out into an empty field and just scream for about an hour.

4 weeks ago

activity, empty, empty field, expression, field, fun, fun activity, health, hour, humor, i, just, mental, mental health, need, outdoor, playfulness, relief, scream, stress, stress relief, think
I’ve never seen a Cybertruck with anyone in the passenger seat.

4 weeks ago

anyone, Cybertruck, empty, empty seat, humor, never, observation, passenger, seat, seen, tech, vehicle
My wallet is empty, just like my soul.

4 weeks ago

crisis, empty, existential, existential crisis, financial, financial struggle, humor, irony, joke, just, money, soul, struggle, wallet
You just can’t live a full life on an empty stomach.

4 weeks ago

empty, food, full, humor, just, life, live, nourishment, stomach
My wife asked me why the bottle of wine we bought yesterday was half empty. I said because she is a pessimist.

4 weeks ago

asked, bottle, conversation, drinking, empty, half, humor, i, joke, me, pessimist, relationship, said, why, wife, wine, yesterday
Having an empty laundry basket is the best 5 seconds of my life.

4 weeks ago

basket, best, chores, empty, having, humor, laundry, life, moment, satisfaction, seconds

For even more funny empty quotes, hit next 👇

All funny empty quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

84 shares on Reddit this month:

Having a girlfriend is insane because you can literally text them, and they will respond.

51 shares on Discord this month:

Being single only sucks when you’re a little drunk and really want to flirt.

63 shares on Threads this month:

It’s a paradox that your nose is running and your feet smell.

68 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I think my bank account has been taking Ozempic.

16 shares on TikTok this month:

Amazing if accurate: bleeding money.

91 shares on Pinterest this month:

Enjoy your time with me, because I love to disappear.

23 shares on Pinterest this month:

I relate to a rooster because I also want start off my day by screaming.

25 shares on Snapchat this month:

Never going into a job interview nervous again, because, wow, it is literally a free invitation to talk about how amazing I am.

27 shares on Instagram this month:

It’s weird how the UFO’s always seem to crash in places that only the government and military have access to.

32 shares on Instagram this month:

I hate when my cat runs into my bedroom and hisses at an empty chair, then runs back out again; and I then have to fall asleep holding a crucifix.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇪 has copied:

Laziness is the art to rest before one gets tired.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has bookmarked:

Sitting in an antique chair is weird, like this thing has seen so many butts.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has copied:

When I become president, any public holiday that falls on a Thursday automatically extends to Friday.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has bookmarked:

Thinking of you while I’m chopping onions.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has viewed:

How is rent for 28 days the same amount as for 31 days? Where is my change?

Someone from 🇵🇦 has shared:

I don’t have a yoga mat, but I have a Twister mat, and it’s the same thing.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has downloaded:

Since the beginning of time itself, people have been wondering, what the hell is going on?

Someone from 🇲🇲 has copied:

What does my tattoo mean? It means I couldn’t be trusted with $200 when I was 18.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has downloaded:

The part where the music beat is going from your left ear to the right at different intervals.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has downloaded:

Conflicts may arise but always remember to be the bitter person.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Threads:

Aliens probably have group chats called Don’t Stop on Earth.

Making waves on Twitch:

I’m sorry I don’t take orders. I barely take suggestions.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Parents be like “don’t believe everything you see on the internet” then believe everything they see on Facebook.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

I have two reactions when I leave the house: Ew, the people. Ew, the weather.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Anyone know how to grow a money tree?

Breaking via Telegram:

My life is a movie, and it has a 47% on Rotten Tomatoes.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Sometimes when I’m having a particularly stressful day, I take a pregnancy test to remind myself that at least one thing in my life is still going as planned.

Just shared via Pinterest:

I wish I could just drop my body off at the gym and pick it up later.

Spotted on WeChat:

Make every hug more interesting by mysteriously whispering, “the Dark Lord stands at the crossroads!”

Seen just now on Telegram:

When your name is Jenn, people think it’s short for Jennifer, but it’s really short for Jennatalia.

Activity Log ✨

38 Funny empty quotes

More funny empty quotes 👇

All funny empty quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨