Wordgag ツ

6 months ago
Share →: We should be able to take our arms off when we go to sleep, we have the technology.

Commentary:
"Imagine the possibilities of detachable arms! 🤖💤 No more awkward arm placements while trying to get cozy in bed. Just unscrew them and set them aside for a peaceful slumber. Sweet dreams of a world where technology sets us free… literally! 😂🛌 #FutureTechGoals"
6 months ago
Share →: Hear me out, a Q-Tip that doesn’t bounce out the trash can when you throw it away.

Commentary:
"Finally, a Q-Tip that sticks to the plan and doesn't bounce away like a rebellious basketball! 🏀🙉 Say goodbye to the great escape – Trash cans everywhere are breathing a sigh of relief! 🗑️😆"
6 months ago
Share →: When I’m president, I will add an additional hour between 6 and 7pm.

Commentary:
"Breaking News: Future president plans to bend time! 🌀⏳ Say goodbye to rush hour traffic and hello to 'Happy Hour, Part 2'! 🍸🎉 Who needs a TARDIS when we've got a president with time-bending powers? ⏰🇺🇸 #PresidentialPriorities"
6 months ago
Share →: My retirement plan is recording a hit Christmas song. I just need to learn how to sing and write music.

Commentary:
"Looks like someone's banking on their vocal talents to sleigh the retirement game! 🎤🎅 Who needs a 401(k) when you've got jingle bells and high notes to back you up? 🎶😄 #RockinAroundTheRetirementPlan"
6 months ago
Share →: Getting a nose ring, so I don’t lose my keys.

Commentary:
🔑👃 "Forget losing my keys, now I just have to worry about losing my nose ring! Talk about an unconventional keychain 😉 #Priorities"
6 months ago
Share →: Putting a blanket over my boss so he thinks it’s night time and goes to sleep.

Commentary:
"Trying to outsmart your boss with a bedtime trick? 🛌😴 That's some next-level strategizing! Just make sure he doesn't wake up before his alarm goes off!⏰😂"
6 months ago
Share →: First date idea: Couples Colonoscopies.

Commentary:
"Nothing says 'getting to know you' like comparing polyps! 🎈💑 Who needs candlelit dinners when you can have colonoscopies together? 🕯️💩 #RelationshipGoals 😂"
6 months ago
Share →: I have now spread out a blue tarpaulin in the garden. I want it to look like I have a pool on Google Maps.

Commentary:
"Just another day in the life of a backyard illusionist. 🏊‍♂️ Who needs a fancy pool when you can have a 'Google Maps special'? 😂 #BackyardGoals"
6 months ago
Share →: Police cars should play ice cream truck music when they’re pulling you over for something minor.

Commentary:
How amusing would it be to have a light-hearted twist during a potentially tense situation? 🚓🍦 Imagine the sound of the ice cream truck jingle luring you in, only to be greeted by the flashing lights of a police car.🎵😅 It might just turn a stressful moment into a quirky memory!
6 months ago
Share →: Thinking of starting a true crime podcast. Gotta explain this search history somehow.

Commentary:
"Considering launching a true crime podcast! 🕵️‍♀️🔍 Although, my search history might raise a few eyebrows at the FBI… 🕵️‍♂️🔪 #PodcastPrep #SuspiciousSearches"