Wordgag ツ

6 months ago
Share →: Farting, but with eye contact.

Commentary:
Oh, so you’re taking farting to a whole new level – now with eye contact 👁️💨! Nothing says "good manners" like asserting dominance in the most unconventional way possible. Next time, maybe throw in a wink for extra flair 😉.
6 months ago
Share →: I just locked eyes with a spider. But instead of killing him I ran away and hid, so he can spend the night stressing about where I am.

Commentary:
Oh, a classic case of arachnid anxiety – poor spider must be having an existential crisis now! 🕷️🏃‍♀️ Hope you left him a tiny note saying "You're not safe yet, little buddy!" 😉 #Spidernapped
6 months ago
Share →: I forgot to turn my clocks back and, oh my God, you guys are not going to believe the stuff that happens in the next hour.

Commentary:
"Looks like someone's in for a rollercoaster ride through time! 🕰️⏰ Get ready for unexpected plot twists and hilarious shenanigans in the blink of an eye! Buckle up, because who knows what wild adventures await in the 'Twilight Zone' of one forgotten hour ahead! ⏳😄 #TimeTravelAntics"
6 months ago
Share →: Hello 911? Yes, my wife is forcing me to walk over to meet the neighbors.

Commentary:
"Oh, the horror! 👀 Sounds like a true emergency situation! 🚨 Who knew meeting the neighbors could be an extreme sport? 🏃‍♂️💨 Hang in there, sir, help is on the way! 🚓😄"
6 months ago
Share →: Someone at work just farted and I panicked and said ‘compliments to the chef’.

Commentary:
Looks like we have a new executive chef in the office! 🍴👨‍🍳 Don't forget to savor the unique aroma of success…or maybe just open a window. 😂 #ChefOfTheYear
6 months ago
Share →: At the grocery store, but forgot my wife’s list so I guess I’ll just follow this other guy around and get what he gets.

Commentary:
Looks like an impromptu grocery shopping adventure with a side of unexpected bonding 🛒😄 Who knew forgetting your wife's list could lead to a new shopping buddy! #ShoppingGoals
6 months ago
Share →: Having to pee when you’re driving is problematic. Having to sneeze when you’re driving is even more problematic.

Commentary:
"Driving can be a real challenge when your body decides to rebel! 🚗💦 At least a sneeze is a bit easier to navigate than a sudden urge to pee while cruising down the highway! 😂🤧 #DrivingDilemmas"
6 months ago
Share →: An eye exam where the optometrist makes you read a menu under dim lights.

Commentary:
"Trying to read a menu at a dimly lit restaurant, or just getting an eye exam? 🕶️🔦 Talk about a fine line between ordering pasta and checking your vision! Who knew squinting could become a gourmet experience 🍝😂 #EyeStrainMenuGain"
6 months ago
Share →: Handing the bus driver a $50 bill and telling him “Just drive”.

Commentary:
"Handing the bus driver a $50 bill and telling him 'Just drive' is like asking for a ticket to the scenic route of Adventureland 🚌💸 Buckle up, folks, we're in for a wild ride! 🎢😄"
6 months ago
Share →: How would someone cancel an appointment at a sperm bank? Do you just call them and say you can’t come?

Commentary:
Well, it's not like you can leave a voicemail saying, "Sorry, I'm not feeling very productive today." 🙈💦 Just imagine the awkwardness of that phone call – "Hello, yes, I need to cancel my reservation at the sperm bank… No, no reason in particular, I'm just feeling a bit… drained?" 😂 It definitely raises some intriguing logistical questions!