Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇵 has viewed:

None of the Instagram story fonts represent me.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has shared:

I hate when a guy asks “can you cook?” Can you build a house?

Someone from 🇷🇼 has copied:

Asking a film guy, “Who is that?” when Tom Cruise comes on screen just to feel something.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has copied:

It’s not my job to police the internet, but I just saw someone post a recipe for cauliflower cookies and reported them for harmful content.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has viewed:

Single for Christmas, but at least I won’t be buying presents for a liar.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has downloaded:

Parents will give you a lecture about fake friends and then get scammed by their own siblings.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has bookmarked:

I’ve never been to hell, but I once forgot to buy batteries for the toys on Christmas morning. The sound is still ringing in my ears.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has downloaded:

Unfortunately most of my sex noises come from trying to get out of bed.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has downloaded:

Ask a man what a good woman is, and watch him describe a slave.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has shared:

We all have that one coworker whose sole purpose is to reduce our life expectancy by ten years.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

643 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,236

Funny Quotes Topics

17,359

Funny Quotes Images

15,236

Dec 30, 2025

3,897

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via YouTube:

Why is it called Christian community and not Holyfans?

Freshly posted on Threads:

Sorry, I can’t talk right now. The seam of my sock feels weird.

Going bananas on Twitch:

I pray this boy wins in life. I wanna see him on top of me.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

Cleaned the bathroom window. Wasn’t frosted glass at all.

Just shared via Telegram:

Follow me on Instagram if you want to see me post absolutely nothing for weeks.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

Do you think working at Pizza Hut would help you get a job at Sunglass Hut? You know, with all that hut experience?

Just landed via Messenger:

Any place is a walkable city if you’re broke enough.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

They should invent friends whose schedules line up with yours.

Trending via X:

Sex makes you happy. So I understand your dissatisfaction.

Spotted on Telegram:

“What’s love?” Grandma sliding money into my hand like a drug dealer. Yeah, man, that’s love.

Funny ground quotes

Funny ground quotes 🦶💬 bring a hilarious twist to everyday moments when life keeps you down—or just close to the earth! Whether you’ve literally hit the dirt or need a laugh about staying grounded, these witty lines will have you chuckling and seeing the lighter side of life’s ups and downs. Get ready to laugh out loud and stay firmly entertained! 😂🌍✨

New funny ground quotes 👇

Getting an extra 20 minutes in the day when someone cancels a meeting is like finding a penny on the ground. Not gonna use it for anything, but wow, am I excited.

0

2 months ago

20, am, anything, cancellation, day, excited, excitement, extra, extra time, finding, free, getting, ground, humor, i, joy, life, management, meeting, minutes, penny, small, small joy, someone, time, time management, unexpected, unexpected free time, work, work life
Processed food was literally designed for you to eat. Organic is just some crap they found on the ground somewhere.

0

2 months ago

eat, food, food industry, found, ground, health, humor, industry, just, nutrition, organic, processed, processed food, sarcasm, satire, somewhere
I’m a pocket full of sunshine, not your dumping ground for grumpiness.

0

2 months ago

attitude, cheerful, confidence, dumping, full, ground, grumpiness, humor, mood, playful, pocket, positivity, sarcasm, self-esteem, sunshine
Unfortunately, you have to almost worship the ground I walk on for me to believe you’re into me.

0

2 months ago

almost, believe, confidence, dating, flirtation, ground, humor, humor quote, i, me, romantic, romantic tension, sarcasm, self-esteem, tension, unfortunately, walk, worship
Ground beef implies the existence of sky beef.

0

2 months ago

absurdity, beef, existence, food, ground, humor, imagination, joke, sky, wordplay
I like you because we hate the same people.

0

2 months ago

bonding, common, common ground, friendship, ground, hate, humor, i, people, relationship, same
I’ll marry your mom just so I can ground you.

0

2 months ago

ground, humor, i, just, marry, mom, parent, relationship
The USA is having so many disasters and tragedies, you’d almost think it was built on thousands of ancient Indian burial grounds.

0

2 months ago

ancient, burial, burial ground, disasters, ground, having, humor, indian, irony, think, tragedy, USA
The cool thing about being a procrastinator is, really bad ideas also don’t ever make it off the ground.

0

2 months ago

bad, bad idea, being, cool, cool thing, decision, delay, ever, ground, humor, idea, ideas, procrastinator, thing

All funny ground quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

18 shares on TikTok this month:

You’ll be having a good day and then someone your age says they’re buying a house.

33 shares on Twitch this month:

Clicked on ‘Make a reservation’ on a restaurant’s page, and it opened FaceTime and started calling them. I cannot stress enough how much I do not want that to happen.

32 shares on YouTube this month:

Getting out of bed should count as resistance training.

93 shares on Telegram this month:

Damn, all this overthinking and I still be making dumb decisions.

67 shares on TikTok this month:

In my 20s: Jingle all the way. In my 40s: Jingle til around ten.

58 shares on Threads this month:

“Have you asked Chat GPT?” Have you lost your mind?

96 shares on WeChat this month:

TV lead me to believe grave digging would be a lot easier.

32 shares on Discord this month:

Salted, and I cannot stress this enough, butter.

78 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I could never be in the mafia, those guys stay up way to late.

74 shares on Snapchat this month:

My kids wanted a spooky story from the olden days so I told them the internet used to scream when you turned it on.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

5 folks are currently checking 👀

They said I can never go back to that Vietnamese spot. They banh mi pho life.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard, and I’m like, cool, can one of you reach the top shelf for me.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

If I had known how much care balcony plants need, I could have stopped taking the pill.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

A sperm bank implies the existence of sperm markets, which further implies the existence of high-frequency sperm trading.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I hate it when I take a picture of myself and see 20 years of bad eating habits and no exercise.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Once you start paying rent, every joke stops being funny.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Genuinely nothing worse than going bowling with people who are actually good. Like, why are you doing all that?

8 folks are currently checking 👀

My husband pissed me off so I wrapped his remote and put it under the tree.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

You can tell a lot about someone by the stuff you make up in your head about them.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve got nothing against kids, I just don’t understand why you’d want indoor kids.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

643 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,236

Funny Quotes Topics

17,359

Funny Quotes Images

15,236

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

3,919

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇷 has downloaded:

Wanted to report a YouTube video, but there is no option for “Cringe”, so I just picked “Terrorism”.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has downloaded:

Everyone thinks they’re a badass until seaweed brushes their leg.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has copied:

If anyone wants to contact me, from now on I can only be reached via my bank account.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has shared:

If I get rid of social media, how will I know what everyone ate for dinner?

Someone from 🇲🇽 has bookmarked:

Boxes of pasta don’t need a plastic window. I believe pasta is in the box.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has downloaded:

I miss whatever age I was when I thought five dollars was a lot of money.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has downloaded:

I’ve found that the easiest way to do burpees is to just not do burpees. No pain, no pain.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has shared:

Being old is basically trying to figure out what part of the body the noise is coming from, and why.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has shared:

I’ve been doing Dry January, but it’s literally just been my lips and skin.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has viewed:

Reverse cowgirl because first dates are awkward.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on LinkedIn:

I’m an adult, that’s why I can have Skittles for dinner.

Breaking via Twitch:

Wishing all the contacts in my phone “Merry Christmas, I hope you get what you deserve” and just letting that work itself out.

Making waves on WeChat:

Be bold, be italic, but never regular.

Spotted on Discord:

Who called it asking the waiter about the specials and not retrieving data from the server?

Freshly posted on X:

I need an emergency cheeseburger.

Just shared via Facebook:

Karma not moving fast enough for me. I would hate to handle it myself, Lord.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Why does it take 5-7 days to refund me when it took 5-7 seconds to take it out?

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Went to the gym two days in a row. This is a fitness account now.

Going bananas on Instagram:

I do not like FaceTime unless we’re best friends or I’m in love with you.

Live now on Pinterest:

Having a Bible verse in your bio doesn’t make you a good person.

© 2025. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴