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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇹 has shared:

Every Reddit relationship post is like “My husband dropped a big piano on my head and when I emerged from the rubble my teeth had been replaced by the keys. Am I in the wrong?”

Someone from 🇻🇪 has copied:

Some folks go to college to delay being a bum.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has viewed:

Everyone thinks they will be the first person in history to maintain their dignity while posting online.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has shared:

Picking up a hitchhiker is not worth the risk of being forced to make small talk with a stranger.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has bookmarked:

Love when job applications ask for my desired salary so I can choose between not being hired and being exploited for my work.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has downloaded:

You’re not entertaining, you are exittaining.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has copied:

What happened to my ankles tonight mosquitologically can never happen again.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has downloaded:

Crashed my car reading a billboard that said, “Don’t text and drive.”

Someone from 🇧🇭 has viewed:

My secret talent is turning any situation into a considerably more awkward one.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has bookmarked:

Been acting really busy today because I can tell my coworker wants to talk about something in his personal life.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

531 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,124

Funny Quotes Topics

17,272

Funny Quotes Images

15,124

Updated

Dec 27, 2025

Users Online

3,919

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on X:

They say dress for the job you want, so I walk around dressed like Darth Vader.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

ROMO (relief of missing out)

Trending via Facebook:

I hope your day is as nice as my ass.

Trending via WeChat:

Revenge has no expiry date. I will deal with you when I’m ready.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Girls know how to flirt until it’s with someone they actually like.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

The most important thing to remember when driving is that not everyone is smart.

Just shared via Threads:

I want to learn scuba diving but I’m terrified of the orchestral music in underwater documentaries.

Just shared via YouTube:

Please don’t delete your post. Yes, it was pretty stupid, but my reply to it was a masterpiece.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Leave me alone, man. I’m just living my life like a candle in the wind.

Live now on Reddit:

Tech enthusiasts: My entire house is smart. Tech workers: The only piece of technology in my house is a printer, and I keep a gun next to it so I can shoot it if it makes a noise I don’t recognize.

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Social Media Stars ⭐

53 shares on Threads this month:

Girls don’t actually shop. We just walk round touching the clothes saying ‘this is cute’.

49 shares on Slack this month:

Of course I intermittently fast. That’s when I sleep.

52 shares on Threads this month:

I’m at the age where I understand why my parents never wanted to stop for anything on the way home from work.

42 shares on Instagram this month:

I’m professionally employed and personally unhinged. Balance.

33 shares on WeChat this month:

According to your ex, what’s exactly wrong with you?

91 shares on Facebook this month:

My my husband’s favorite thing is when I blame him for losing something that’s actually in my hand.

96 shares on TikTok this month:

As a student, the most comforting words you’ll ever hear are “I haven’t started either.”

31 shares on Messenger this month:

Stop normalizing things, we’ll run out of the weird shit.

82 shares on Twitch this month:

You’re a “haha” girl, and I’m an “lol” guy. It just wouldn’t work.

55 shares on Messenger this month:

You gotta act cool, calm, and collected around liquid eyeliner because it can sense your fear.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I believe my ex-wife is days away from having a nuclear weapon.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I hope the next time you’re stressed, it’s because you’re choosing between Japan, Bali, Switzerland, or the Maldives.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

“Don’t judge a book by its cover” is a beautiful, powerful sentiment that I fully ignore when book shopping.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m actually quite nice. If I had friends, they’d all confirm that.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I am sick and tired of going to the bathroom. It’s been forty years. It should all be out by now.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Now that the nights are getting cooler again, spiders often hide in your bed in search of warmth. Sleep well!

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m gonna start sending women unsolicited pizza pics.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

If I were you, I would rather be me.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Unfortunately, free coffee in the office will never hit like a $9 iced latte will.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Breaking news: you’re way less interesting than you think you are.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

531 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,124

Funny Quotes Topics

17,272

Funny Quotes Images

15,124

Updated

Dec 27, 2025

Users Online

3,701

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇼 has viewed:

Keep your fries close and your onion rings closer.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has copied:

If you eat well and exercise, you’ll die fit.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has downloaded:

The concept of a courtroom sketch artist is so funny to me. Here’s our little murder doodler.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has downloaded:

My friend thinks he’s smart. He said onions are the only food that makes him cry. So I threw a coconut at his face.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has downloaded:

People see me spending money and think I’m rich. No, bro, I’m just irresponsible.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has downloaded:

Honestly, how women are drawn in a manga is typically (though not always) a good clue for what demographic a manga series is.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has downloaded:

I have officially reached the age where I am bothered by lights being on, doors left open, loud noises, and people.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has bookmarked:

Money enters like Beyoncé and exits like Britney.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has bookmarked:

I was feeling kinda lonely this morning so I glued a coffee cup to the top of my car so people would wave at me.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has viewed:

Heartbreaking: Introvert sentenced to 100 hours of hanging out.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Slack:

Sometimes I’m out in public and I have to look down real quick to make sure I remembered to put on pants.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Just once I’d like to hear a doctor say, “Your guess is as good as mine.”

Making waves on Discord:

My best friend is married and buying a house. I ate popcorn for dinner.

Just shared via Messenger:

She was rare. Like a parking spot in the front row on a rainy day.

Just shared via Pinterest:

“I’m at that stage of Christmas shopping where I start buying myself presents.”

Making waves on Threads:

Let’s all stand up against iron deficiency (but not too fast).

Breaking via WhatsApp:

Kids: making things way more difficult when they don’t have to be, since the dawn of man.

Spotted on Messenger:

I don’t think I’d get married again, but I would like to annoy someone until one of us is dead.

Just landed via TikTok:

Should I ever be mean and insulting, then it comes from the bottom of my heart.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

If you only watched reality TV dating shows, you would probably estimate the number of people who work in medical device sales in the United States to be approximately 80,000,000.

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