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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇧🇧 has viewed:

Can’t, I’m pulling it together.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has shared:

You’re like if “nope” was a person.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has shared:

Nasa is launching a satellite to say sorry to the aliens. They’re calling it the Apollo G.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has downloaded:

If i say “morning!” to you, it does not mean “good morning”, I am merely exclaiming in horror that it is morning.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has bookmarked:

My parents told me I could be anything I wanted so I became unacceptable.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has shared:

The concept of dominant hands is hilarious to me. That one of our hands is just like, “No, I’m not helping.”

Someone from 🇧🇯 has bookmarked:

Can we bring back the lost art of just hanging out at your friends house doing absolutely nothing?

Someone from 🇨🇭 has downloaded:

Life tip: If all of your bathrooms are full and you’re waiting for someone to finish, just turn off the WiFi in the house.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has bookmarked:

They should invent a political party that doesn’t suck.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has downloaded:

Dating app that matches you based on your risk tolerance for airport arrival timing.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2327 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,489

Funny Quotes Topics

15,192

Funny Quotes Images

12,489

Updated

23 minutes ago

Users Online

3,448

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Telegram:

Had salad for the third night in a row and now I get why you’re so angry, vegans.

Seen just now on Slack:

First time buying fireworks, and I wasn’t sure I’d picked the right ones until the salesman gave me a wink and high-foured me.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Coffee just tastes better when you are the only one awake in the morning.

Spotted on Discord:

My anti-theft device in my car is that it’s manual.

Going viral on YouTube:

Our phones fall, we panic. Our friends fall, we laugh.

Just landed via Telegram:

Bro, you’re not allowed anymore to have your tongue drop out of your mouth and form a stair case when you see my wife.

Just landed via Threads:

If women came with instructions, men wouldn’t read them anyway.

Spotted on Slack:

“Male loneliness epidemic” and it’s just karma and the consequences of their actions.

Reported on Snapchat:

Sperm me would be swimming in the other direction.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

It’s normal that my retirement plan is 100% contingent on me finding buried treasure at some point, right?

Home » Funny Here Quotes » Page 2

132 Funny here quotes

More funny here quotes 👇

1 week ago
Share →: Sitting in a room with my husband and kids… Suddenly I realize everyone here has been in my vagina. Wow.

Commentary:
That's one way to keep it all in the family! 🤦‍♀️😂👶
1 week ago
Share →: People out there having five-year plans, and here I am waking up just hoping I remember what day it is.

Commentary:
Five-year plans? I'm just aiming for five-minute ones! 😂📅🧠
1 week ago
Share →: Clearly, hell is empty, the demons are all here.

Commentary:
Looks like the demon convention just let out early! 😈🎉
1 week ago
Share →: Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here hating myself more.

Commentary:
When you realize you're so good at self-roasting, others don't stand a chance! 😂🔥 #SelfBurnChampion 🌟
1 week ago
Share →: The human body is incredible. It’s like, “Oh, you’re stressed and sad? Here, enjoy this acne.”

Commentary:
Oh great, just what I needed—stress pimples, the sequel 🤦‍♂️😂 #SkincareGoals
1 week ago
Share →: My son loves Monty Python. My work here is done.

Commentary:
Raising them with the proper silliness legacy 😂👶⚔️
1 week ago
Share →: Rest here, weary doom-scroller, you’ve seen enough bullshit for one day.

Commentary:
Doom-scroller achievement unlocked: Level 2024 complete! Time to recharge your sarcasm meter. 😎📱🔋
2 weeks ago
Share →: I’m only here to test your patience, but like, in a sexy way.

Commentary:
Testing patience: 80% annoyance, 20% charisma 😂💃🤷‍♂️
2 weeks ago
Share →: Cleaning your kid’s room will piss you off, cause why is my Airfryer in here?

Commentary:
Finding an Airfryer in your kid's room is just part of their "creative decluttering strategy" 😂🔍🍟
2 weeks ago
Share →: Moms will vacuum the ceiling, alphabetize the spice rack, reorganize your socks, then say, “No one helps me around here!”

Commentary:
When mom goes full CIA on dust particles and socks, yet we're all suspects 🕵️‍♀️🧹🧦🔍

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇦 has bookmarked:

Even before the internet, I always had a little side chat going on in my head.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has shared:

I’m implementing a new policy in my house: any child who is awake past bedtime can either go to sleep or clean the house, no exceptions.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has copied:

My mom always used to tell me that I look cute when I sleep. My boss has a different opinion.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has downloaded:

I just want peace, not a notification every time someone breathes.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has shared:

If I was a star and you were a star, I would wink at you and blink at you and twinkle at you and the earthlings would call it science.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has bookmarked:

Got a new high score on my bathroom scale.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has downloaded:

Instead of screaming into the void, I’m going to ask it for recipes.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has viewed:

I’m a little too self-aware to enjoy life, and a little too delusional to give up.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has shared:

My brain says “Let’s do something exciting today” but my body says “Don’t listen to that fool.”

Someone from 🇱🇨 has shared:

Without freedom of speech, we wouldn’t know who the idiots are.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Funny thing about zombie movies – they never seem to go after the cameraman.

Shared recently on Slack:

Spending money is too easy. For my bank account’s sake, I need a bridge troll to ask me three riddles before I’m allowed to buy something.

Spotted on Threads:

Science has enough bodies, I’m donating mine to English lit just to spice things up a bit.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

I assume fish have beautiful names for eachother, unpronounceable by human tongues.

Making waves on Slack:

I’ll call it a smartphone when I yell “Where’s my phone?” and it yells back “Down here in the couch cushions!”

Making waves on Discord:

Sitting in a room with my husband and kids… Suddenly I realize everyone here has been in my vagina. Wow.

Trending via Threads:

Fundamentally, I understand chess, because I too would never let my king feel unsafe.

Just landed via Messenger:

Have you tried making guacamole about it?

Just shared via Reddit:

I really want to be nice, but annoying people just won’t let me.

Spotted on WeChat:

Ramen is just anime spaghetti.

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Activity Log ✨

132 Funny here quotes

More funny here quotes 👇

For even more funny here quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny here quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Make your salad taste better by putting it between bread, meat, cheese, and Big Mac sauce.

What wine pairs well with the kids being stuck inside during a heat wave?

My birth year getting a lil too far on those lil scroll lists. I don’t like that.

Sorry, but I don’t think we should see each other anymore. Your Katana skills are lacking.

Everyone wants the bagel to be everything, but no one asks if the bagel needs anything.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Don’t blame a clown for acting like a clown. Ask yourself why you keep going to the circus.

Yeah, I’ll get up soon, I just need to look at the internet first. Yes, the whole thing.

It’s now socially acceptable again to clap when the plane lands.

I’d tell you to go to hell, but I work there and I don’t want to see you every day.

German couples probably have less arguments because there’s an exact word for, “I’m fine, just annoyed you forgot the milk again”.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Absolutely destroyed my bed last night… I cuddled those covers so hard.

People who don’t admit their mistakes disgust me. I would absolutely admit to a mistake if I had ever made one.

I can literally trace the moment my career died back to when my boss said he was in back-to-back meetings, and I said, “Isn’t face-to-face better?”

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Shoutout to everyone who can’t keep up with the laundry or the dishes but decided it was a great idea to start gardening.

What genius called it road rage and not locomotive?

My goal was to look good in a bikini this summer, but the call of the barbecue is stronger.

I think we all need to go out into an empty field and just scream for about an hour.

Meds have done more for me than any man ever could.

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