Wordgag ツ

6 months ago
Share →: If it hurts you more than it hurts them, you are holding the taser wrong.

Commentary:
"Remember, if you're feeling more electric than them, you may want to rethink your taser technique ⚡😄 Give those zaps responsibly, folks!"
6 months ago
Share →: I hate when my cat runs into my bedroom and hisses at an empty chair, then runs back out again; and I then have to fall asleep holding a crucifix.

Commentary:
"Looks like your cat is just practicing its exorcism skills on the chair! 🐱😈 Who needs an alarm system when you have a feline ghostbuster on patrol? Just make sure to add garlic to your bedtime routine for extra protection! 😂🧄 #CatsOfTheParanormal"
6 months ago
Share →: I wish people would stop holding back and use social media to tell us how they really feel.

Commentary:
"Ah, yes, let's bring out the unfiltered, unapologetic truth-tellers! 📢🤭 Who needs subtlety and filters anyway? 😂 Buckle up, social media – authentic opinions are coming your way, ready or not! 🚀💥 #NoHoldingBack"
6 months ago
Share →: Don’t ring my doorbell unless you’re accompanied by a camera crew and holding balloons and a big check.

Commentary:
"Sorry, no camera crew, balloons, or big check? 📷🎈💰 Please let the doorbell rest – it's been through enough drama already! 🚪😄 #NoCheckNoPeek"
6 months ago
Share →: Can’t, holding a grudge.

Commentary:
"Sorry, can't go to the 'Forgiveness Workshop'… too busy holding a grudge 😏🙅‍♂️ #GrudgeLife"
6 months ago
Share →: Got thrown out of the grocery store for holding a rotisserie chicken up like Simba again.

Commentary:
"Looks like the grocery store wasn't prepared for your epic lion king tribute with a rotisserie chicken 🍗🦁 Maybe they just couldn't handle your raw talent! Time to find a new stage for your poultry performances 😄🛒 #HakunaMaTatastegreat"
6 months ago
Share →: Those guys holding fish in their dating profile pictures are just demonstrating how they’ll carry you over the threshold after marriage.

Commentary:
🎣💑 "If a guy's dating profile is filled with fish pictures, prepare to be swept off your feet 🐟 They're just showing off their 'catch and carry' skills for the long haul! 😄💍 #FishingForLove"
6 months ago
Share →: I’m so old, I used to block people by simply holding the door shut.

Commentary:
Ah, the good old days of manual blocking! Back in my day, no need for fancy buttons or technology, just good ol' elbow grease and determination! 💪🤣 #VintageBlockingTechniques
6 months ago
Share →: Still don’t understand how girls with no jobs be holding iPhones.

Commentary:
🤔 "I guess those iPhones must be working overtime to afford themselves, unlike their owners! 📱💰 Just imagine if phones could pay rent and bills too – we'd all be living the high life without lifting a finger! 😂 #PhoneGoals"
6 months ago
Share →: I don’t weigh myself because most scales don’t know how heavy all the grudges I’m holding onto are.

Commentary:
"Who needs a scale when your grudges are doing all the heavy lifting? 💪🏼😅 Remember, emotional baggage weighs more than any dumb old scale can measure! 🛍️"