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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇴 has shared:

When I was a kid, there were two ways to die, natural causes and talking back to your parents.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has copied:

Whenever someone says “Per ChatGPT” or “ChatGPT says,” I look at them like they just consulted a magic 8 ball because, please, stop playing with me.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has bookmarked:

Life is not a fairy tale. If you lose your shoe at midnight, you’re drunk.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has copied:

If anything I post makes you mad, just know that it pleases me.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has viewed:

Doctor said I am terminally chill.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has viewed:

I might look calm, but in my head I’ve punched you in the face three times.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has shared:

Cats are the best authoritarians. You will do their bidding, and you will like it.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has copied:

That little stroll to the coffee maker makes me happy every morning.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has downloaded:

Sometimes I just say “no idea” because I’m too lazy to think.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has viewed:

I lied, there is no sex. You’re helping me repot plants.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Jan 19, 2026

3,410

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Pinterest:

Apparently, throwing the remote against the wall didn’t help recharging the batteries.

Freshly posted on X:

Got banned from the sauna at my gym for saying “steam me up, Scotty” a few too many times.

Going viral on Messenger:

Not gonna lie, the age I’m turning this year sounds a little serious, and I don’t like it.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

In filling out an application, where it says, “In case of emergency notify”, I put “Doctor.”

Just shared via Instagram:

So far, no one has seriously tried to bribe me, which is a shame because I am extremely corrupt. Maybe I need a position with more power.

Spotted on X:

Your Starbucks order leads me to believe that you’re very difficult to deal with.

Going viral on Instagram:

Ain’t nothing better than knowing you were right when everyone else thought you were crazy.

Making waves on YouTube:

I can keep my mouth shut, but you can read the subtitles on my face.

Breaking via Threads:

Sorry, my face wasn’t created to hide that much distain for what you’re saying.

Trending via Telegram:

Boy, did The Shining nail what it’s like being an only child.

275 Funny home quotes

Funny home quotes perfectly capture the chaos, comfort, and quirks of life at home! 🏠😂 From messy rooms to family shenanigans, these quotes remind us why home is where the humor is. Get ready to laugh at the little moments that make every house a home! 😄🛋️

New funny home quotes 👇

My hobbies include going home, wishing I was at home, and being at home.

2 hours ago

being, comfort, going, hobby, home, humor, i, relaxation, wish, wishing
To save money, you really just gotta stay at home.

2 hours ago

budget, frugality, home, humor, just, money, save, saving, saving money, stay, stay-at-home
Thought I would mix things up today and sit in a new spot on my couch. Absolute chaos over here.

4 hours ago

change, chaos, couch, here, home, humor, i, mix, new, over, relaxation, sit, sitting, sitting spot, spot, things, thought, today
The older I get, the more I realize how much I love being at home, doing nothing.

5 hours ago

aging, being, comfort, doing, doing nothing, home, humor, i, laziness, love, much, nothing, older, realize, relaxation, self-awareness
No plans and no pants kind of day.

6 hours ago

casual, comfort, day, home, kind, lazy, lazy day, no pant, no plan, pant, pants, plan, plans, relaxation, stay, stay home
My boss was like, “People working from home are just pretending to work,” and it’s like, dude, what do you think I’m doing in the office?

6 hours ago

boss, doing, dude, home, humor, just, office, people, pretending, remote, remote work, think, work, work from home, working, workplace, workplace humor
Sometimes you really do write a whole poem just to give one beautiful phrase a home.

7 hours ago

beautiful, beauty, creativity, give, home, just, phrase, poem, sometimes, whole, writing
Welcome to Twitter, someone from an unhappy home will attend to you shortly.

8 hours ago

home, humor, interaction, media, online, online interaction, sarcasm, social, social media, someone, Twitter, unhappy, unhappy home, welcome
Tired of looking at a bad screen. Can’t wait to get home and look at a good screen.

12 hours ago

bad, bad screen, fatigue, good, good screen, home, looking, screen, screen fatigue, tired, wait
Driving home, listening to Gangsta’s Paradise, with my hands at 10 and 2.

12 hours ago

2, car, driving, gangsta’s, Gangsta’s Paradise, hand, hand position, hands, home, humor, listening, music, nostalgia, paradise, position, road, road safety, safety, song

For even more funny home quotes, hit next 👇

All funny home quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

41 shares on Twitch this month:

I make her eyes roll back. Not in bed though. I’m just annoying.

68 shares on Pinterest this month:

More dangerous than a lion that roars is a woman gone silent.

14 shares on Snapchat this month:

People my age are parenting actual humans, and I’m over here promising myself snacks if I fold the laundry.

60 shares on Instagram this month:

I wish I could join, but I’m busy plotting revenge because my kids laughed when I showed them I can shake it better than Shakira.

35 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Heard a recording of my own voice, and now I can never speak again.

55 shares on Twitch this month:

You ever wake up from your dreams impressed? Like, damn, that narrative structure was phenomenal.

24 shares on Slack this month:

If someone asks you if you’re in the queue, what they actually mean is “you’re really shit at queuing, aren’t you?”

68 shares on Instagram this month:

All I’m saying is, there are too many songs about love and not enough songs about evenly layered nachos.

59 shares on YouTube this month:

I really don’t care what happens to me romantically anymore.

99 shares on Instagram this month:

Science can’t explain it, but some hairs can grow up to a quarter inch overnight. Never in a good spot though.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I grew up in a really small town. The closest thing we had to food delivery was someone egging your house.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I predict the next world war will be artificial intelligence versus genuine stupidity.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

The devil is keeping him alive to avoid spending eternity with him in hell.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I wear a lot of clothes for someone who hates doing laundry.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m sorry, but when you call me ‘batshit crazy’ it’s almost starting to sound like you think it’s a bad thing!

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Stay humble and play dumb. People reveal who they truly are when they think they are smarter than you.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Experts say that human interaction is important for brain health but I’m willing to risk it.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

You call it nagging, I call it ‘listen to what I said the first time!’

6 folks are currently checking 👀

All the observable evidence suggests that, if I was much worse at my job, I’d be more likely to get a promotion to senior management.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Thanksgiving and Christmas should be six months apart. Absurd to see those people again so soon. Insane.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,404

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇾 has downloaded:

I don’t normally like to brag about expensive trips but I just got back from the grocery store.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has bookmarked:

I need someone to look at me the way I look at memes.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has downloaded:

Don’t you hate it when you offer help and the other person says yes?

Someone from 🇱🇦 has viewed:

Retiring my wallet condom after two years of active duty. 87 tours with 0 combat deployments.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has downloaded:

I wish someone would light up the way Siri does when I say, “Hey.”

Someone from 🇨🇦 has bookmarked:

I can’t believe we became the adults in the most unaffordable period in history.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has viewed:

I’m not even sure what I’m doing on this planet.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has bookmarked:

Pretending I’m asleep so my boss has to carry me to the meeting.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has bookmarked:

I’d imagine the sound of clowns having sex would just be a cacophony of bicycle horns.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has bookmarked:

I took your advice and worked smarter not harder. Now I’m going to need your advice on a good lawyer.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Eating cookies left for Santa because the cowboy was a no show.

Spreading quickly via X:

I’ve never had a beer in the shower; I’m saving it for a very low moment in my life.

Trending via Threads:

You don’t even have to date, by the way. You can just take a break from love and then randomly meet the actual love of your life somewhere you weren’t even supposed to be.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Your brain automatically translates WTF but not LOL.

Live now on TikTok:

Sorry, I liked your post one second after you posted it but in my defense, I’ve had my phone in my hand since 2012.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

There’s a special place in hell for people like you (next to me).

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Sometimes I’m just so exhausted I have to go to bed and scroll my phone for the next 2-3 hours.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

You don’t see guys traveling around on those seesaw-type push carts on railroad tracks anymore.

Live now on WeChat:

When I quit my job I’m setting one last OOO message that just says “your email will never find me again”

Going viral on Facebook:

Your birthday as an adult mainly consists of texting back ‘Thanks!’ to people you haven’t talked to in 5 years.

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