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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇽 has bookmarked:

Don’t scare me, I fart easily.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has shared:

I used to work at McDonald’s and we only told ugly people that the ice cream machine was broken. So I have bad news if you were ever denied ice cream.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has bookmarked:

Do you think birds, once they get older, start people-watching?

Someone from 🇭🇳 has viewed:

Reverse cowgirl is not a fair trade because, why do you get a view of my sexy back, and all I’m seeing are your toes throwing gang signs?

Someone from 🇳🇴 has copied:

I could post “hello” and there’d be a 20 day argument in the comments.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has shared:

I get it, drug commercials. I too like to dance while I describe all my side effects.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has copied:

Everybody hates me for being a beautiful angel with a perfect soul.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has shared:

Mama didn’t raise no fool, I turned into one all on my own.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has viewed:

I wish other jobs let us solve issues by releasing diss tracks. Got some sick rhymes about Debbie from accounting and her poorly structured invoicing.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has bookmarked:

I want someone to care for me as much as Netflix cares if someone has logged into my account from another device.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2305 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,467

Funny Quotes Topics

15,179

Funny Quotes Images

12,467

30 minutes ago

3,454

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Facebook:

If anyone wants to watch the Super Bowl on a large 8k TV, come on over to my place (and bring a large 8k TV).

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Girl talk is my favorite. You go from discussing goals to talking about shoes, to hating men, to planning a trip in six minutes.

Live now on Reddit:

Talking to the stars because people suck.

Reported on Snapchat:

I cannot hear a word you are saying if your hoodie strings are uneven.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

Can we talk about what little red riding hoods actual grandma must have looked like?

Broadcasted on Messenger:

Single, not sure how to mingle.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

Spending all my money on lottery tickets so I’ll either be rich or poor, none of this wishy-washy stuff in the middle.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Too bad mosquitos are not into human fat the way they are into human blood.

Trending via Threads:

I wonder how long you could drive in a roundabout before a cop would be like, hey, you can’t do that anymore.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

God, I was so happy when I was 18. I wasn’t at the time, but in retrospect I was.

Home » home

221 Funny home quotes

Funny home quotes perfectly capture the chaos, comfort, and quirks of life at home! 🏠😂 From messy rooms to family shenanigans, these quotes remind us why home is where the humor is. Get ready to laugh at the little moments that make every house a home! 😄🛋️

New funny home quotes 👇

30 minutes ago
Share →: Marriage is scary, what if he doesn’t want our house to look like my Pinterest board.

Commentary:
Just imagine he suggests a couch without 37 decorative pillows 🛋️😱📌
1 day ago
Share →: Don’t be coming into my house and causing big spikes of cortisol.

Commentary:
Entering my house with drama levels on high? This isn't a soap opera audition! 😂🏡🚫📈
4 days ago
Share →: I love when I come home, I put on my Adam Sandler clothes.

Commentary:
When I put on my Adam Sandler clothes, my couch automatically turns into the VIP section 🍿🛋️😂
4 days ago
Share →: Grown men carpooling to the strip club so they can get boners and drive home together.

Commentary:
👀 When gas prices are high but the priorities remain… interesting 🚗💸
5 days ago
Share →: I once hated my job so much that I would come home from work and watch vlogs of people quitting their jobs, wishing it was me.

Commentary:
Ah, the sweet sound of someone else's freedom as my background music while I draft another email 🤣💼✨
6 days ago
Share →: Look away from your laptop for 1 second, and MS Teams will say you left the country.

Commentary:
MS Teams: The drama queen of software, assuming I've gone on a world tour every time I blink 🌍✈️😂
6 days ago
Share →: Am I the only person who hates spending the night at someone’s place? Like, we can hang out until 3 a.m., but I’m still going home.

Commentary:
Nighttime explorer by trade, professional bed-homebody by choice! 🛌🚀🙃
6 days ago
Share →: How do I get one of those fake corporate jobs where I work remotely, get paid for responding to one email a day, and have a laptop on with Outlook or whatever open?

Commentary:
Sign me up for the email-writing Olympics, where caffeine, pajamas, and strategic emoji use are my secret weapons! 😂💻☕📧
6 days ago
Share →: Movie date at my house, but we use pirated sites and spend all night closing pop-ups.

Commentary:
When "Netflix and chill" turns into "close pop-ups and pray" 😂🍿📺
6 days ago
Share →: No better feeling than getting home and realizing you forgot the one thing you went out for.

Commentary:
Finally perfected my "de-shopping" skills 😂🏠🛒

For even more funny home quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny home quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2305 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,467

Funny Quotes Topics

15,179

Funny Quotes Images

12,467

30 minutes ago

3,430

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇪 has copied:

Instead of hairstyles and make-up, there should be YouTube tutorials on polite behavior.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has bookmarked:

I can always tell what part of my cycle I’m in by how concerned my friends are over my Tweets.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has bookmarked:

Work beers should be a daily thing.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has copied:

Buying books and reading them are actually two entirely different hobbies.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has copied:

Coffee tastes so much better handed to me.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has shared:

You should be allowed to miss work if you’re not feeling sexy.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has downloaded:

There should be a good 10 hours in between waking up and having to interact with people.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has shared:

“Girls just want to have fun!” No, I want one million dollars cash.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has shared:

As you get older, nothing loses its sting more than an authority figure saying they are disappointed in you. Like, I don’t know what to tell you, dude, we can’t both live in the prison of your expectations.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has shared:

Whoever said having a crush is when you feel the most like Carrie Bradshaw was so real for that.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Discord:

I have a condition that prevents me from dieting. It’s called being hungry.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

Welcome to your senior years, where you get mad when they rearrange the grocery store.

Shared recently on Instagram:

A big shout-out to all the beekeepers. Our unstung heroes.

Shared recently on Facebook:

I just went to Crazy Town, and they said you’re a local legend.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

What’s a beginner hobby for someone just getting into being happy?

Freshly posted on Telegram:

I would prefer not to.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Googling “effect vs affect” in an incognito window.

Reported on Facebook:

I’m at the age where I can remember things that never happened.

Just shared via Reddit:

That second wave of sleep after waking up too early.

Making waves on Messenger:

Who called it a heatwave and not a temperature tantrum?

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