Funny Home Quotes That Will Make You Appreciate Your Couch Even More! 🛋️😂

The secret to a clean home? Never let your husband or children in.

May 6, 2024May 6, 2024

Home is where you’ve left the shopping list.

Oct 19, 2023Oct 19, 2023

Home is where you can walk around like a bum.

Oct 17, 2023Oct 17, 2023

My favorite part of leaving the house is looking forward to going home.

Oct 7, 2023Oct 7, 2023

Playdates were invented to force parents into cleaning their home.

Oct 4, 2023Oct 7, 2023

‘I have a ripe avocado at home’ is my favorite excuse for cancelling plans.

Oct 3, 20232 months ago

The best part of vacation with your extended family is talking shit about them on the trip home.

Sep 30, 20232 months ago

I’m gonna get my vasectomy done at Home Depot like a real man.

Sep 29, 2023Oct 7, 2023

Life hack: put on an apron at home and people think you’re super busy doing important stuff even when you’re not.

Sep 29, 2023May 6, 2024

You didn’t let me know you got home safely so you better at least be injured or I’m gonna be pissed.

Sep 29, 2023Oct 7, 2023

The guy who drills the holes so you can assemble IKEA furniture is clearly having problems at home.

Sep 28, 2023Oct 7, 2023

I’m homeless. Minus the ‘m’.

Sep 22, 2023Oct 7, 2023

Why can’t you just be happy for me and then go home and talk behind my back later like a normal person?

Sep 22, 2023Oct 7, 2023

It’s important to get out of the house every once in a while to get excited about going home.

Sep 22, 2023Oct 7, 2023

My favorite thing about summer is opening a window for 30 seconds so an insect that hasn’t been identified by science yet can fly into your home.

Sep 22, 2023May 7, 2024

I’m always in a rush to go home, and do absolutely nothing.

Sep 22, 2023Oct 7, 2023

People always talk about how they love to sit in their cars for a while once they get home. Whenever I do that, my Uber driver yells at me.

Sep 22, 2023May 6, 2024

A man’s home is his castle, but his garage is his sanctuary.

Sep 22, 2023Oct 7, 2023

Drinking at home is convenient, sure, but it’s nothing like the experience of leaving the pub feeling fifty bucks lighter.

Sep 22, 2023Oct 7, 2023

Just be good and kind to your children. Not only are they the future of the world, they’re the ones who can sign you into a home.

Sep 22, 20235 months ago

Home: Where I can look ugly and not care.

Sep 22, 2023Oct 7, 2023

I wish the homes of all my friends were connected to mine by secret underground tunnels.

Sep 22, 2023Oct 7, 2023

Home is where you can look ugly and enjoy it.

Sep 22, 2023Oct 7, 2023

That moment the doorbell rings and you tip toe to the window pretending you’re not home.

Sep 22, 2023May 6, 2024