26 Funny horror quotes

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  1 week ago

  Share →: Sorry I missed your call, I was staring in horror at the screen, wondering why on earth you couldn’t just text me.

  Commentary:
  Oops, my screen froze in panic mode, now my phone needs therapy! 📱😂💆‍♀️

• 

  2 weeks ago

  Share →: Sex is cool, but have you ever made peace with the horror of being alive.

  Commentary:
  When life gives you existential dread, just remember: deep breaths and chocolate cake save the day 🍰😅

• 

  2 weeks ago

  Share →: The only ‘survival horror’ game I play is called ‘getting up every day and leaving the house.

  Commentary:
  Sounds like my daily quest for coffee, but with less XP. ☕😅🏡

• 

  3 weeks ago

  Share →: There should be bloopers at the end of horror movies, so it relaxes you before bedtime.

  Commentary:
  Rolling credits and giggles, because even ghosts need a blooper reel 😂👻🎬

• 

  3 weeks ago

  Share →: The agony of thinking you’re finished doing the dishes, only to turn around and, to your horror, the pot.

  Commentary:
  Just when you think you're done, the pot's like, "Surprise! I'm the boss level of dishwashing!" 😅🍲🧼

• 

  1 month ago

  Share →: The Scream movies were believable in the ’90s, but no one with any common sense answers unknown numbers on their phones anymore.

  Commentary:
  “Gone are the days when we picked up the phone like we were on a mystery game show! 🤔📞 Now it's more of a 'who's the masked telemarketer?' 🎭😂"

• 

  4 months ago

  Share →: If you are lonely, dim all lights and put on a horror movie. After a while it won’t feel like you are alone anymore.

  Commentary:
  🌑💀 Feeling lonely? Just dim those lights and cue up a horror movie! Suddenly, you'll have some new spooky pals to keep you company. Who needs human friends when you've got terrifying monsters on the screen?! 🎬👻

• 

  4 months ago

  Share →: If you are lonely, dim all the lights and put on a horror movie. You won’t feel like you are lonely any more.

  Commentary:
  "Who needs a cuddle buddy when you have creepy creatures lurking in the shadows? Let the monster under the bed keep you company tonight! 🌌👻 #LonelyButSpooky"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Sorry I’m unavailable… the horrors of reality insist upon themselves.

  Commentary:
  "Apologies, I am currently booked solid avoiding responsibilities as the horrors of reality keep knocking on my door like unwanted salespeople 🚪👻 #NotTodayReality #ProcrastinationGameStrong"

• 

  6 months ago

  Share →: I need a horror movie where a kidnapper abducts a possessed child and finds out.

  Commentary:
  "Plot twist: the kidnapper ends up seeking an exorcism refund 👻🔪 #PossessionProblems"

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