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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇿 has bookmarked:

I never oversleep in the mornings. I set an alarm and a back-up alarm. Plus, there’s also a noisy kid once those fail.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has shared:

Girls these days are like a box of chocolates. Some have nuts.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has copied:

Sometimes it’s not a secret, it’s just none of your business.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has downloaded:

When I say “the other day”, it can be anytime between yesterday and my birth.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has downloaded:

Without freedom of speech, we wouldn’t know who the idiots are.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has viewed:

Men microdose bicuriousness by asking what you’d do for a million dollars.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has shared:

The woman that cleaned my house could make a lot of money by threatening to release the before and after photos.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has downloaded:

Please pray for our son, who had to unload the dishwasher when “he just did this yesterday, and he’s tired.”

Someone from 🇪🇬 has viewed:

Stop blaming everyone for all your problems. Pick one person you hate and blame them for everything.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has viewed:

Good friends don’t let their friends do stupid things alone.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2436 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,598

Funny Quotes Topics

15,266

Funny Quotes Images

12,598

Updated

10 minutes ago

Users Online

3,463

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Reddit:

I’ve been on Facebook for so long, I remember when it all used to be farmland.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Don’t listen to them, little password. You are strong.

Making waves on WeChat:

I don’t think fish should be allowed to eat other fish. I don’t know. Just seems weird. That’s like your coworker, dude.

Spotted on Pinterest:

A general rule of parenting: if you’re having a great day, the day isn’t old enough yet.

Going viral on Snapchat:

A new year resolution is something that goes in one year and out the other.

Trending via Discord:

My New Year’s resolution will be to stop chasing waterfalls, and stick to the rivers and the lakes that I’m used to.

Trending via LinkedIn:

Adulting is difficult. One minute you’re proud of yourself, the next minute you feel like you’re not doing enough.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Instead of calling it the John I’m going to start calling my bathroom the Jim. That way I can say I go to the Jim every morning.

Spotted on Instagram:

Saturday nights are for watching zombie shows and dreaming about the apocalypse.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Welcome to social media. A person who does not understand humor will contact you shortly.

Home » Funny House Quotes » Page 3

202 Funny house quotes

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2436 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,598

Funny Quotes Topics

15,266

Funny Quotes Images

12,598

Updated

10 minutes ago

Users Online

3,444

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇼 has downloaded:

Being complimented by a girl in public is like getting kissed by an angel.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has downloaded:

I changed my alarm clock sound to an applause, it’s the least I deserve for waking up at 7am.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has downloaded:

Me: I’ve always wanted to stare at someone from across the street then disappear when a bus passes. Interviewer: I meant more like “professional goals”.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has viewed:

A really good magician could be living in your house and you would never know.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has downloaded:

Meow means woof in cat.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has shared:

I remember when “disinformation” used to be called “lies.”

Someone from 🇶🇦 has shared:

I’m done wasting money this summer, unless you guys want to do something this weekend.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has shared:

Instead of cleaning my house, I just watch episodes of hoarders on TV and then I think “Wow, my house looks awesome!”

Someone from 🇰🇼 has viewed:

Monday: The only day when you can wear the same outfit from the day before without anyone noticing.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has downloaded:

“I’m just a girl!” No, you are a monster.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on LinkedIn:

My Christmas letter this year includes a bonus DVD of my colonoscopy.

Just shared via Slack:

First date idea: we deactivate your Instagram.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Life can only give you lemons if you answer the door.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Absent father sucks, but have you met the final boss, the father who is actually in your life every day but emotionally unavailable, lol.

Breaking via Slack:

I bet being full feels so good for the moon.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Neighbors are fighting. Can I knock on the wall and ask them to speak up so I know whose side I’m on?

Seen just now on X:

Sorry, boss, I can’t come in to work today, I’m gonna be playing outside.

Live now on WhatsApp:

Interesting people are my favorite endangered species.

Going viral on Slack:

I like to take long walks away from stupid people.

Trending via Telegram:

All our dogs think we quit our jobs to spend more time with them. All our cats think we got fired for being lazy.

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