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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇸 has copied:

Panties is such a weird word. Panties. I can’t say it sexy.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has bookmarked:

The belief that software engineers are uniquely intelligent has done unimaginable damage on society.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has copied:

A micromanager is someone you pay to watch your top talent walk away.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has shared:

IKEA is like the Hotel California of furniture stores.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has downloaded:

Me: I have a cut under my fingernail. Universe: Excellent, I will send you an unusually high number of encounters with citrus fruit.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has viewed:

My dad once sneezed so hard that he set every clock back two hours.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has shared:

What electric cars and diarrhea have in common is the fear of not making it home.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has downloaded:

I’ve got 99 problems. I know this because I wake up in the middle of the night to review each and every one of them in great detail.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has bookmarked:

If pills are too toxic to flush down the toilet, you probably shouldn’t swallow them.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has downloaded:

Since emojis have been around, I finally have a rough idea of how women feel when they don’t know what to wear.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,477

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Threads:

If they’re called leggings, why is your stomach in there?

Making waves on WhatsApp:

First date idea: you rescue me out of the tree I got stuck in while looking through your windows.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

The winter months remind me that it is crucial to find someone that you’re thermostatically compatible with.

Breaking via Snapchat:

I watch “Law and Order” so much that when I turn off the TV, I wipe my fingerprints off the remote.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

Me: I have a cut under my fingernail. Universe: Excellent, I will send you an unusually high number of encounters with citrus fruit.

Just shared via Discord:

Alcohol and eye contact is a deadly combo.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

I should go to jail so I can focus on the gym.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Wow, this person is full of shit. Oh, I’m on my own page.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Discord is only good for calling friends on the computer. Please do not waste your time getting caught up in random servers.

Just landed via Instagram:

The Welsh language was invented by a dad losing at Scrabble.

46 Funny ice quotes

More funny ice quotes 👇

If an ice cream truck has its music on, are you supposed to pull over and let it pass like an ambulance?

1 week ago

ambulance, childhood, cream, funny thought, humor, ice, ice cream truck, let, music, over, pass, passing, playful, playful question, pull, question, thought, truck
I went downstairs to get my charger. I came back up with a bowl of ice cream and no charger.

1 week ago

back, bowl, came, charger, cream, distraction, downstairs, funny mishap, humor, i, ice, ice cream, mishap, procrastination, result, snack, unexpected, unexpected result
Imagine hearing the ice cream truck music, but at night.

1 week ago

cream, hearing, humor, ice, ice cream, imagination, imagine, music, night, sound, surprise, truck, unexpected
Some say the world will end in fire. Others say in ice. Coming up next, our expert panel breaks down the arguments for each side…

1 week ago

apocalyptic, argument, arguments, breaks, comedy, coming, debate, end, end of world, expert, expert panel, fire, humor, ice, next, others, panel, satire, say, side, world
It’s so hot, ice bears are opening lemonade stands.

1 week ago

animal, bear, bears, climate, exaggeration, hot, humor, ice, ice bear, joke, lemonade, lemonade stand, opening, stand, summer, weather
The closest thing I’ve had to a personal trainer is the ice cream truck that drove past my house.

2 weeks ago

cream, exercise, fitness, food, house, humor, ice, ice cream, past, personal, temptation, thing, trainer, truck
When you are stressed you eat ice cream, cake, chocolate and sweets, because stressed spelled backwards is desserts.

2 weeks ago

cake, chocolate, coping, coping mechanism, cream, dessert, eat, humor, ice, ice cream, mechanism, stress, sweet, wordplay
Look, ice cream has eggs in it, therefore it is a breakfast food.

2 weeks ago

breakfast, cream, debate, egg, food, food debate, humor, ice, ice cream, logic
The only running I do is to chase the ice cream truck.

2 weeks ago

activity, chase, craving, cream, fitness, fun, fun activity, humor, ice, ice cream, running, truck
My ego is bruised so I’m going to ice it with some cold beer.

2 weeks ago

beer, bruised, cold, cold beer, drinking, ego, going, humor, ice, relaxation, self-care

For even more funny ice quotes, hit next 👇

All funny ice quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

100 shares on Messenger this month:

I’m not saying Lois Lane is a bad investigative journalist, but my friend Greg didn’t wear glasses to work yesterday and I recognized him by lunch time.

57 shares on YouTube this month:

I wonder if babies know that we are more terrified of them than they are of us.

33 shares on Reddit this month:

Yesterday I wore something from 5 years ago and it actually fit. So proud of myself. It was a scarf, but still, let’s be positive here.

57 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I’m always happy when I come home from shopping and the note on the table reminds me of what I wanted to buy.

44 shares on X this month:

Made my last mortgage payment. Yay! I still owe a lot, I’m just not paying anymore.

94 shares on Telegram this month:

The first pyramid scheme was when the Egyptians took credit for the pyramids that were clearly built by aliens.

96 shares on WeChat this month:

The second cup of coffee does for me what a can of spinach does for Popeye.

25 shares on X this month:

Donnie Darko was also ahead of its time because the guy’s haunted by a giant Labubu.

91 shares on Facebook this month:

Sorry, I’m late. I got here when I wanted to.

15 shares on YouTube this month:

Not being able to teleport is a huge inconvenience for me.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇧 has bookmarked:

Downloading the Titanic soundtrack. It’s syncing right now.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has copied:

Alligators can live up to 100 years which is why there is an increased chance that they will see you later.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has viewed:

“I thought it might be nice to go around the room and have everyone introduce themselves, including a fun fact.” You thought wrong.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has shared:

Sorry I’m late. Had to scroll back to my birth year.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has viewed:

Forgetting how to clean the dishes and shooting them with a gun.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has copied:

Yeah, sex is cool, but have you ever taken an afternoon nap on the couch?

Someone from 🇺🇦 has shared:

If you’ve never had a cheeseburger change your mood, you’ve never had a cheeseburger.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has shared:

If you sweat while you eat, it should count as a workout.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has viewed:

Think like a crazy person, and then you’ll understand.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has shared:

My favorite color is sunshine.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Everyone is celebrating my vegan Bolognese sauce. The secret ingredient is minced meat.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Your car antlers tell me everything I need to know about you.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Dear people who talk on speakerphone out in public. Everyone around you hates you.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Starting a new show sucks. Who are these people?

Just shared via Slack:

I deal with my personal problems the same way I study for tests, I don’t.

Seen just now on Threads:

January 1st: anything is possible. January 2nd: but not today.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

My entire life changed once I found out that a crush is just a lack of information.

Just shared via Reddit:

How are they running out of oxygen if they’re breathing it right back into the submarine?

Just landed via Messenger:

I still make time for all my favorite hobbies, like drinking, swearing, and making people feel uncomfortable.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Salad was likely invented after someone picked everything they didn’t like out of their meal and put it on a separate plate.

Activity Log ✨

46 Funny ice quotes

More funny ice quotes 👇

All funny ice quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

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