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Someone from 🇭🇹 has copied:

My door camera alerts are all just me stepping outside to see how warm it is.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has bookmarked:

Someone from 🇧🇪 has copied:

When you’re a child, you want to be a teenager. When you’re a teenager, you want to be an adult. When you’re an adult, you want to be a cat.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has bookmarked:

Congratulations to the sweater, another year of being the most disgustingly named piece of clothing.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has shared:

Does anyone actually know how to pronounce Worcestershire sauce correctly, or do we all just stumble through it and hope for the best?

Someone from 🇲🇳 has copied:

Just learned in psychology that when a man goes to sleep first, it’s because he’s comfortable around you and wants you to go through his phone.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has viewed:

Amazon cart: Order now and it will arrive today. Amazon confirmation email: LOL, just kidding, it’ll be a week from tomorrow.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has shared:

I’m trying to shower you with affection. It doesn’t matter how I got into your bathroom.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has shared:

Hi, I’m making some changes in my life. If you don’t hear from me, you are one of them.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has viewed:

Kendrick inspires me to be a bigger, deeper, more passionate hater.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

531 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,124

Funny Quotes Topics

17,272

Funny Quotes Images

15,124

Updated

Dec 27, 2025

Users Online

3,628

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via WhatsApp:

If you like water, you already like 72% of me.

Spotted on X:

I always preferred the English spelling of “diarrhea” which is “diarrhoea” because it really looks like you’ve lost control of your vowels.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Have y’all tried calories? They’re so good.

Seen just now on TikTok:

The masculine urge to make a woman sit through a YouTube video that she will not find funny or entertaining.

Just shared via YouTube:

Not to brag but I don’t even need alcohol to make really bad decisions.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

I hope this email punches you square in the face.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

If i had $5 for every time I said up yours to someone, my butler would be saying it for me.

Going viral on Discord:

Let’s draft everyone who has their phone on military time first, since you’re all so eager.

Shared recently on Discord:

People always ask me why there’s a chair in my shower. Who the hell eats breakfast standing up?

Seen just now on Messenger:

Aliens are coming to Earth, people are going to the Moon, and I am still pushing on a door that says pull.

Home » Funny Joke Quotes » Page 6

1560 Funny joke quotes

More funny joke quotes 👇

Caffeine isn’t cutting it anymore. I need to eat a gun.

0

4 weeks ago

caffeine, coffee, cutting, eat, energy, exhaustion, frustration, gun, humor, i, joke, need, sarcasm
Hey girl, are you a burger? Because I love you.

1

4 weeks ago

burger, flirting, girl, humor, i, joke, line, love, pickup, pickup line
My bit for Thanksgiving is going to be constantly bringing up politics, but pronouncing every politician’s name slightly incorrectly.

0

4 weeks ago

bit, conversation, every, family, family gathering, gathering, going, holiday, humor, incorrectly, joke, mispronunciation, name, politician, politicians, politics, Thanksgiving
In an effort to keep our house clean before Thanksgiving, I’ve asked my family to go live somewhere else.

0

4 weeks ago

asked, before, clean, effort, else, family, holiday, house, humor, joke, keep, live, moving, somewhere, Thanksgiving
I only squeak when I’m squoken to.

0

1 month ago

communication, humor, i, joke, only, speak, squeak, witty, wordplay
Me: Hello, darkness, my old friend. Darkness: I have a boyfriend.

0

1 month ago

boyfriend, conversation, darkness, friend, friendship, hello, humor, i, joke, me, old, rejection, relationship
Me in hell: “So did it hurt when you fell from heaven.” Lucifer: “Get out!”

0

1 month ago

fall, heaven, hell, humor, hurt, joke, line, Lucifer, me, pickup, pickup line
I lied, I’m jealous. I hope every girl who looks at you gets clipped by a meteor.

0

1 month ago

every, girl, hope, humor, i, insult, jealous, jealousy, jealousy humor, jealousy joke, joke, looks, meteor, relationship, relationship humor
A dyslexic man walks into a bra.

0

1 month ago

bra, dyslexia, dyslexic, humor, joke, man, pun, walking, walks, wordplay
Dollar Tree need to just go ahead and change the name to Tree of Unexpected Prices.

0

1 month ago

ahead, change, dollar, Dollar Tree, humor, joke, just, name, need, price, prices, shopping, store, tree, unexpected, unexpected price

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Social Media Stars ⭐

11 shares on X this month:

90s scientists: we cloned a sheep. we landed a robot on mars. Scientists today: for the last time, the earth is round.

74 shares on Discord this month:

Sometimes I apologize to my car when I hit a pothole.

79 shares on Facebook this month:

Eating nothing but beer for a month and calling that Oktoberfast.

18 shares on Reddit this month:

Self-care is putting your face on a very soft cat.

23 shares on Messenger this month:

Born to be a hater but forced to understand where you’re coming from.

22 shares on Telegram this month:

Me going to work because I’m too honest to scam people, too shy to be an influencer, too good for a sugar daddy, and too dumb for crypto.

69 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I always tell my kids that it’s okay to make mistakes just as long as you learn how to blame them on other people.

92 shares on X this month:

I just need my friends to know I would do absolutely anything for them, except reply to their message.

78 shares on Pinterest this month:

Working with children gives you so much in return. Lice, for example.

44 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I put my pants on just like everybody else: when the police tell me to.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇴 has copied:

90% of debugging is just realizing your own stupidity in slow motion.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has copied:

The struggle to get off the couch and into bed is real.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has bookmarked:

A wise man once said, “Bees don’t waste their time explaining to flies that honey is better than shit.”

Someone from 🇧🇸 has bookmarked:

One day you’ll find someone who’s obsessed with you. It’ll probably be a demon but that’s what it is.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has viewed:

I have no need to judge people because of their religion, skin color or sexual orientation. Bad behavior is enough for me.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has copied:

lol is punctuation and LOL is laugh out loud.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has viewed:

Some days you’re the bat, some days you’re the ball.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has downloaded:

“Don’t judge a book by its cover” is a beautiful, powerful sentiment that I fully ignore when book shopping.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has bookmarked:

Why is smoking the only addiction jobs give you breaks to do? I should get 15 minutes every hour to cook up some parlays.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has bookmarked:

As a simulation, this all kinda sucks.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on WhatsApp:

For once, I’d like to spiral into control.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Nosferatu 2024, Frankenstein 2025, and Werwulf 2026. I was born at exactly the right time.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Daffodil totally sounds like an insult, you blooming daffodil.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

I accidentally take a screenshot of my phone background at least once a week.

Shared recently on Threads:

Requesting the Pink Panther theme song at karaoke and just standing on the stage motionless the entire time.

Shared recently on Reddit:

I’ve asked so many people what LGBTQ stands for. So far no one has given me a straight answer.

Just landed via Facebook:

We interrupt coverage of one horrible story for breaking news of another horrible story.

Just landed via WeChat:

“You never text back.” No, I be reading texts from the notification bar, then forget to text back.

Just shared via YouTube:

I’m so lazy that I’ll break my tooth trying to get this tag off before I get up and get a scissor.

Seen just now on Instagram:

College is not even mentioned once in the Bible. Somebody get me outta here.

Activity Log ✨

1560 Funny joke quotes

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All funny joke quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

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