15 Funny judge quotes

• 

  2 months ago

  Share →: In my defense, Your Honor, I was left unsupervised.

  …

  Commentary:
  "That's what happens when Netflix runs out of episodes! 🤷‍♂️📺😂"

• 

  2 months ago

  Share →: Sometimes I have to remind myself to put down my iPhone, go outside, and judge people in person.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, fresh air and fresh judgments… the original social media! 📱➡️🙋‍♀️🌳 #OfflineCritiques"

• 

  4 months ago

  Share →: My taste in music ranges from “You’ve gotta listen to this” to “I know, please don’t judge me.”

  Commentary:
  "Oh, the joy of having a music taste that's as unpredictable as the weather forecast! 🎶 One minute you're the DJ hero, introducing everyone to hidden gems, and the next you're the embarrassed party-goer praying no one finds out about your guilty pleasure playlists. 🙈 Who knew musical rollercoasters could be this entertaining! 🎵😄 #MusicalWhiplash"

• 

  4 months ago

  Share →: True friends don’t judge each other, they judge other people… together.

  Commentary:
  "True friends don't judge each other, they save their best critiques for the rest of the world! 👯‍♂️👀 #SquadGoals #FriendshipGoals"

• 

  4 months ago

  Share →: Don’t judge me. I was born to be awesome, not perfect.

  Commentary:
  "Who needs perfection when you've got awesome running in your veins! 💁‍♂️ Embrace the quirks and let your awesomeness shine brighter than a disco ball! ✨"

• 

  4 months ago

  Share →: I don’t understand why judges get paid so much, others judge me for free.

  Commentary:
  "Well, if everyone judged for free, maybe we'd have more opinions but fewer courtrooms! Perhaps judges should start a side gig offering judgment services at a 'pay what you think I'm worth' rate."

• 

  6 months ago

  Share →: Your honor, when I said I wanted to be held, I didn’t mean in contempt.

  Commentary:
  "Your honor, I just wanted a hug, not a sentence! 😆⚖️ #LegalLaughter"

• 

  6 months ago

  Share →: Why is judge the only job where you can bang a little hammer to make people shut up? I’ve needed that in literally every job I’ve had.

  Commentary:
  "Seriously, the power of the tiny hammer should not be underestimated! ⚖️🔨 I mean, imagine being able to silence noisy colleagues with a bang – productivity levels would skyrocket! 🔇💥 Who knew a little tool could hold so much power in the workplace? 🤣 #TinyHammerBoss"

• 

  6 months ago

  Share →: My step counter doesn’t judge. For him, steps to the fridge are just as valuable as a walk.

  Commentary:
  "Step counter: the non-judgmental companion we all need 🚶‍♂️🚪🍔 Walking to the fridge *is* a cardio workout after all, right? 😄"

• 

  6 months ago

  Share →: I have no need to judge people because of their religion, skin color or sexual orientation. Bad behavior is enough for me.

  Commentary:
  "Who needs to judge based on superficial criteria when you can simply judge people for their bad behavior? It's like skipping the appetizer and going straight for the main course of judgment! 🙅‍♂️🌈 Just say no to discrimination and yes to calling out bad behavior wherever you see it! 💁‍♀️"

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